GAPSfamily

Enjoying Our Freedom

2011-12-19T01:54:00.000-06:00

We are still doing well. Our sound minds come from the Spirit of God. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Sweets are everywhere! I allow my children a reasonable ration of sweet treats each day. They are fine.

A reasonable ration would be a few pieces of candy, or a piece of cake, or a donut.

Plus, we are eating bread and butter almost daily, or white rice, sweet potatoes, etc.

Shopping, cooking, cleaning is less!!!

Beds are most often dry. Laundry is less!!!

Everyone sleep through the night!!!

I can now experiment with all kinds of ferments! WooHoo! I have my first batch of Beet Kvass fermenting right now. I think my husband has ordered the Wild Fermentation book for me. Since we can now have whey (and, well, anything), I can try many new ferments.

We have reduced the amount of Bio-Kult by nearly one half and will drop it completely when I get more ferments going and into our regular routine. We cut our dose of FCLO by about half. No more Natural Calm Magnesium. Cost is less!!!

We have stopped juicing regularly and do not have lemon water everyday. Food prep time is less!!!

My hubby and I have actually gone out on a date: ate at a restaurant and went Christmas shopping. What fun! Stress is Less!!!

We participated in a Christmas concert and dinner at church. Amazingly, all of our 5 children, ages 2-13, sat quietly on the front row for the duration of the concert. I was impressed. We ate what was served at the dinner, including something from the dessert table. Choosing was difficult, as there were so many choices and we limited ourselves to one. My children were curious why others filled their plates with 3-4 different desserts. Hmm. We could actually have true fellowship with others and talk about something other than food.

God is so good! Praise Jesus, because He is the One who healed us!

Everyone, all six of us, are having normal formed bowel movements every day.

Bloating is gone!!! I have received so many comments on my slender figure as of late. Nice!

No one has itchy skin!

Energy and attitudes are high! "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Eye contact is AWESOME!!! Love it!!!

The children play well together. They all play together. They LIKE playing with each other.

There is a lot of tickling, chasing, laughing, and playing happening at our house. There is peace at our house. "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:17)

My daughter, KES, has only had one leg cramp once since we started eating off-GAPS. I prayed in Jesus' Name, and Jesus took the pain away. I kid you not! "Christ the Power of God" (1 Corinthians 1:24)

My daughter, KRS, has only had one headache since we started eating off-GAPS. I prayed for her in Jesus' Name, and Jesus took the pain away completely. I kid you not! "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you." (John 15:7)

Search it out! "Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33) Seek Him! He is the ONLY ONE who has all the answers. He is the ONLY ONE who can make you righteous. He is the ONLY ONE who can heal us.

He loves us and He wants to heal us. He sent His Son to die for us, so that we might be saved, and saved means so much more than an insurance policy to get into heaven. Saved means saved. Saved now. It means saved from sin and saved from the power of sin in our lives. It means saved from death, eternal life. It means healed. There's more. The Greek word "sozo" means: to save, keep safe and sound, to rescue from danger or destruction. It is often translated as heal, save, cured, made well, preserved, recover, restore, etc.

He saved us from our slavery to sin and restored us to what we were always meant to be; sons, who were created in His image for His glory. He has clothed us in His righteousness. Wow!

"God is love." (1 John 4:8) "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18) Oh, YES!

Search it out! Seek Him! It's good. It's all good.

The GAPS diet did NOT heal us

2011-12-14T22:59:00.000-06:00

While I am thankful to God for leading us to the GAPS diet and I agree that it is a very healing diet, the GAPS diet did not heal us. God healed us. He did not heal us through the GAPS diet. He healed us by His Word. (Psalm 107:20)

God is love. Love heals. He IS the Great Physician.

I will try to explain what happened, but by no means do I have a formula for receiving healing. It is God who heals. There IS power in the blood and in the Name of Jesus!!!

I was so very depressed after more than two and a half years on the GAPS diet and seeing regressions, yet again. It felt like a prison. There was NO way out!!! A friend counceled me by listening to all I had to say and asking me one simple question. The question was, "What are you doing to seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness in your life?"

At first, I was a little bit annoyed because I really thought that I had been seeking God all these years. I couldn't get the question out of my head. I began to wonder what it really meant to seek Him. How does one go about seeking Him? I didn't know.

I came to realize that I knew a lot about God. I read His Word. I listened to the sermons and tried to apply the teachings to my life. I memorized lots of scripture and tried to apply what I knew to my life, but I just could not do it consistently. I participated in Bible studies. I prayed all day everyday, but my prayers were primarily asking God to help me and help others. I did praise God, thank Him, confess my sins, and make my requests, but I was not seeking a relationship with God.

So I did the only thing I knew to do: I humbled myself as a little child and I asked my Heavenly Father to teach me. I figured that He is really the only One who has all the answers. In Jeremiah 33:3, God says, "Ask me, and I will show you great and unsearchable things that you have never known."

I was reading through the Bible so I began to talk to God and ask Him about passages of scripture that didn't make sense to me. Later, I would find the answer in another part of scripture, or in a Bible study, or a sermon. I began to notice that certain topics were very repetitious. I kept reading, "Your faith has healed you." I kept reading, "Love one another," "Love your neighbor as yourself," "As I have loved you, so you must love one another," "a new commandment I give you: Love one another," "The entire law is summed up in this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself," "but the fruit of the Spirit is love..." "These three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love." "Nothing matters except faith expressing itself in love."

If anyone reads this and wants to know the references for any or all of these, I will gladly share. I just want to post this soon. I recommend reading all of Galatians, John 13-17, and all of 1 John.

I have found more, so much more, but it is best if one seeks the Lord for these things so I do not want to give it all away as it would not mean near as much to one who had not searched it out with the Lord. I have simply believed what God has written in His Word.

Note: Previously, I was not confident to read my Bible and try to understand it, because I had been told so many times that you have to understand the history and the context to understand the true meaning of the words. What a lie!!!! I was afraid, but 2 Timothy 1:7 says that "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind."

I began to read the Word of God and I tried to understand it. I asked my "Abba" to help me understand it and I reasoned that if I guessed wrong (as my children often do) that He would be patient with me and would teach me all things as I become ready to learn it, just as I am patient with my kids and I teach them new things as they become developmentally ready to learn it. God is so good. He is teaching me.

I became convinced that love was more important than anything else I could do for my kids and one day I simply had faith that my daughter could eat honey and would not react. She did eat and she didn't react. I later gave some to CKS, and he did not react. They have been eating fruit and honey ever since. They only had reactions on bad days where love was not reigning in our house. I found that I could make my kids sick in an instant by criticizing them or yelling at them or shaming them in any way. I would love them back to health and, indeed, the reactions would go away. So I concluded that Love heals. However, we all still reacted to everything NOT on the GAPS diet.

I kept reading God's Word, seeking God, His Kingdom, and His Righteousness. He is amazing!!! I can't and won't tell you everything I have learned. I will, however, encourage everyone to "seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). Also, check out Matthew 7:7-8. Ask God and He will tell you everything you need to know. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7). Don't just read His Word; talk to Him about it and believe what He tells you. It is amazing!!! HE is amazing!!!

I came to a point where I believed that it was indeed God's will to heal us. I prayed for complete healing everyday, believing that He would indeed heal us. I spoke the Word of the Lord (verses I have memorized) all day and talked to God as if He were my daddy in the room with me. At some point, I knew we had to step out in faith and expose ourselves to the foods/environments that we had been reacting to for so long. We bought some bread at the Farmer's Market and ate it with butter. We were fine. We kept eating bread and butter and added in other non-GAPS food. We were fine.

Note: When I began to eat bread and butter, about a week earlier, the kids had reactions akin to pre-GAPS or early GAPS. CKS regressed. KES became enraged and hateful. It was insane. I'm the one who ate the food and no one else knew of it. The children were still having "reactions" when I gave them the bread and butter, believing that they would be fine and would actually improve. They were and they did. Rashes were as bad as they have ever been, but they have been improving.

You see, it was God who healed us, not GAPS. We had been reacting to so many things just a few weeks earlier. Now we are fine. Praise the Name of Jesus!!! All glory to God!!!

We have enjoyed treats at Christmas parties. We had our own special day where we decorated the Christmas tree, watched the Nativity Story, drank hot chocolate, and ate candy canes. We shared a Thanksgiving meal with our family. We ate dinner at church with our church family. We can eat anything. My kids can play with play dough again!!! WooHoo!!! Healed!

The GAPS diet did NOT heal us! God did!!!

Healed is Healed!

2011-12-06T21:33:00.000-06:00

All glory to God! We are healed! All six of us. Totally healed!

So I want to share what has happened, but I don't know where to start, so I will start with this:

Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness!

I was so depressed after the holidays last year because we had been on the GAPS diet for over two years and had followed it very closely, as much as we were able, but we were still very limited in what we could eat. Most all of our symptoms were under control and we had indeed added several food items back, but not that many. CKS and KES could still not tolerate any fruit or honey. After the holidays, everyone started to react to everything again. I contemplated starting over, yet again. My heart was screaming, "NOOOOO!!!" I broke down.

What I have learned from the GAPS diet is that we are truly fearfully and wonderfully made, and the only one who really knows what is going in inside of us is God, our Heavenly Father. Only God has the answers. Only God can heal us.

God says to get rid of all bitterness, anger, and rage. If He tells us to do it, then there must be a way. I had reasoned that diet helped me to live a more godly life, but I became a slave to the diet. I could only be godly if I stayed with the diet (kids, too). We would inevitably be exposed to some chemical or food without our knowledge or control and we would react and behave in unreasonable and ungodly ways. We began to fear and detest food. It was such a chore. Even going to church was difficult because the children would react to perfume or chemicals in the church building. I was angry. I would break down and cry. I would get so frustrated. I wanted to quit, but quitting was worse than staying on the diet. There was nowhere to go. We were trapped. There was no way out. (Psalm 107)

I began to communicate back and forth with a godly woman who had such compassion for us and for our situation. She listened to all I had to say about everything and she listened to all my questions. She did not answer any of my questions, but instead she asked me one simple question: What are you doing to seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness in your life?

I balked. "I pray. I read the Bible. I memorize scripture. I praise God for all the good things in my life. I talk to God all day everyday. Of course I am seeking God."

Then I realized that I was always seeking what God could do for me. I begged Him to help me. I begged Him to heal us. I begged Him to change me. It was all about me. I was not seeking His Kingdom and His Righteousness after all.

Now I had a real problem. I had no idea how to go about actually seeking God.

I still can't put my finger on how to do this. I think I asked God to show me and He did.

I found Jeremiah 33:3 and daily I asked God to show me great and unsearchable things that I have never known. He has! I keep asking for more!

James 1:5 says to ask God for wisdom and that He gives it generously to all without finding fault. I asked God to give me wisdom. He did and continues to do so.

Matthew 7:7 says to "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

I asked God to help me in my unbelief. I asked Him to increase my faith. He has!

Everything that I have asked for, He has given me!

There's so much more and I can not sum it up in one post. Over the past eight months, God has changed me completely! I am a new creation. I have been a "Christian" all my life, but I have not been living in victory. I still struggled. I still fell. How could I tell people about the Good News of the Gospel if I wasn't convinced in my own heart that it was really Good News? I couldn't. But now...

Now I know Him. He has pierced my ears! I am His, and He is mine! I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. It's true. I was made for this! I am not my own. I was bought with a price. Now I know Him, and I can tell you that He really does love us as much as He says He does!!!

I still haven't written about how it came to be that we are all healed, but really that is secondary anyway. It's all about God, not me. More to come...

Heal us, O Lord, and we will be healed. Save us and we will be saved, for You are the one we praise! This was my prayer for weeks after I came to understand that it was indeed in God's will to heal us. It comes from Jeremiah 17:14.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-12-06T01:03:00.000-06:00

Giving thanks to the One who gives all good things.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come! (Revelation 4:8)

You are worthy, O Lord,
To receive glory and honor and power;
For You created all things,
And by Your will they exist and were created. (Revelation 4:11)

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power and riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing! (Revelation 5:12)

Blessing and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and ever! (Revelations 5:13)

Heavenly Father, You are indeed worthy of our praise. We are thankful to You for healing us of ALL of our intolerances. We are thankful to know that You have not given us a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of power, and of love, and of self-control. Because You live in us, we have the power to do what is right. You give us the power to love and the power to be self-controlled. Our sound minds, they come from You! We shared a Thanksgiving meal with our family and surprised everyone by sharing our food with them and by partaking of all the food prepared by them. What a joy to be able to this. Oh, Lord, Your Word is so precious to me. Thank You for answering my prayers. I asked You for wisdom (James 1:5), and You gave me wisdom. Continue to increase my wisdom, Lord. I asked You to teach me great and unsearchable things that I have never known (Jeremiah 33:3), and You have shown me many great and unsearchable things that I have never known. Continue, Lord, to show me new things everyday. I praise You, for You are the One and Only True God, and You are worthy of our praise!!! Amen.

Healed! Victory in Jesus!

2011-11-24T15:56:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving! We have much to be thankful for. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has healed us from all of our intolerances. We have been eating off GAPS for 2-3 weeks now with no reactions and we see continued improvement in symptoms that still remain. We have been enjoying bread from the Farmer's Market with butter. We have shared treats with friends at a thanksgiving party. I have celebrated a friend's birthday with a piece of peanut butter pie and enjoyed the fellowship as we "broke bread together". We are celebrating Thanksgiving with our family today. How wonderful to share a meal with all. They were surprised to hear that we can eat anything put before us. They are sure that the GAPs diet had much to do with our healing, but I know differently. The LORD healed us. All glory to God! Details later.

"Praise the Lord, oh my soul, all my inmost being praise His Holy Name. Praise the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives ALL our sins and heals ALL our diseases!" (from Psalm 103)

Update: October 27: Almost Done With the GAPS Diet!

2011-10-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

We have been very busy trying to figure out how to accomplish Classical Conversations, other homeschooling endeavors, church activities, and GAPS cooking. God is so gracious to provide for us in so many ways. I must always seek Him first above all else.

After school started, I (temporarily) neglected my Bible reading, study, and prayer time in favor of sleep and time spent helping my kids succeed at school. Things became stressful as we tried to get it all done. Gradually, symptoms returned and my children and I became intolerant of food that we have been eating since May/June. For one week, I took out all salicylates, fruit, and honey in order to bring sanity back into our lives as it felt like our whole world was crashing in on us. It was really bad! Tantrums! Rashes! Rigidity! Loss of eye contact! Difficulty concentrating! Meltdowns! Anxiety!

When I say bad, I mean really bad! I thought my husband should want to leave me because I had no time for him and our house was not a fun place to come home to. Everything felt very hopeless.

Then, I realized that I had put school above everything else in my life. It came first before spending time with God in His Word. It came before my relationship with my husband. It was more important than spending quality time with my little ones, or any of my children. Figuring it all out became more important than loving my children as Christ loved me. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (I Corrinthians 13:4-8) "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Corinthians 13:13) I was no longer very patient or kind, though I tried to be. I was rude, self-seeking, and easily angered. I kept records of wrong. I did not protect, trust, hope, or persevere. I wanted to, but it wasn't in me. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23) The Spirit was not in me. I stopped exhibiting these traits.

Here's why: (John 15:1-14) If a man remains in Christ, and Christ remains in him, then he will bear much fruit, but without Christ, he can do nothing! He can not bear much fruit. No matter how hard I try to be loving and patient and kind, I can not do it when Christ is not in me; when His words are not in me. When I fill myself up with other thoughts, those thoughts rule, and everything I say and do reflects what I am believing.

School had become an idol (anything we devote ourselves to above the Living God). I had sacrificed my relationship with my children on the alter of education. I sacrificed my relationship with my husband on the alter of education. I put education first and stopped seeking first His Kingdom and His Righteousness. I neglected my relationship with God.

When I realized this, I turned away from my sin and confessed it to the Lord, who has removed my sin as far as the east is from the west and who has washed me whiter than snow because when I confess my sins, "He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9) I remember Romans 8:1 which says that "there is now, therefore, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

I began to seek Him, His Kingdom, and His Righteousness first. I sought council from the Wonderful Councelor and He answered me. He reminded me of the Truth. His word is True. He reminded me that if I will only ask Him, then He will show me great and unsearchable things that I have never known. (Jeremiah 33:3) It is all in His word! He has been showing me many great and wonderful things in His word. He speaks to me through His word. I now understand how one can have a very real, active, and living relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I now believe Him wholeheartedly! Everything He says is TRUE! He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! (John 14:6)

He wants to heal us! I never KNEW that before. He wants to heal us! Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." We want to be free from anger, anxiety, bitterness, and rage. These things are not from God. God tells us to get rid of it. (Ephesians 4:31) He tells us not to be anxious. (Phillipians 4:6) If He tells us to do it, then there must be a way to do it! He is WAY more powerful than any food or food reaction. When Jesus healed people, he would say that their faith had healed them or "according to your faith, it will be done to you." (Matthew 9:29) I never believed He wanted to heal us. I knew He could, but I never believed He would. Now I know that He can and will. He gave me these words:

Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed. Save me and I shall be saved, for You are the one I praise."

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health to you and heal your wounds," declares the Lord."

Psalm 107 (all of it, as it describes people suffering because of their sin, they cry out to Him, He heals them from their distress, and they praise Him)

Psalm 107:17-22 "Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. HE SENT OUT HIS WORD AND HEALED THEM, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!

Psalm 103:1-5 "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who FORGIVES ALL YOUR INIQUITY, who HEALS ALL YOUR DISEASES, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

II Timothy 1:7 "for He did not give us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, and of LOVE, and of SELF-CONTROL." (some versions say of A SOUND MIND)

Does God want to heal us? Absolutely! He can and He will!

For one week, I pulled all the fruit, honey, and salycilates and things just got worse! Then, I was convicted of my sin (placing school above everything else) and I confessed it to God. Things got even worse, so that we saw tantrums and rages and fits like we saw two years ago before we started GAPS. Believing that God would heal us by His word, we started adding food in. Rashes are healing. Skin on cheeks is smoothing out again. Tempers are more peaceful or with love can be brought back to peaceful. We are now cooking chicken with necks and liver. That's huge! We ate chicken and sausage from Whole Foods Market with spices we had never tolerated before. Yum! I told my daughter to participate in art class no matter what the activity and not to worry about getting color on her skin. She did fine. We had a new babysitter come who wore too much fragrance, but believed everyone would be fine. They were. We ate oranges today. Everyone is sleeping. The children are going to bed on time without complaint. They get up and do their chores and school without complaint. Life is beautiful.

The rashes are not completely gone yet, but they are fading. The little ones get anxious and scream or cry over little things, but are quickly settled with a calm loving approach. We are learning to be calm. (Kirk Martin - Celebrate Calm or Celebrate Christian Calm) Our oldest has finally accomplished the amazing task of completing his schoolwork in record time in the middle of chaos and is understanding it better than ever. Our second child, also, is accomplishing her increased load of schoolwork in record time, amidst chaos, and even includes the little ones in her studies by "teaching" them what she is learning. Our seven year old is now "officially" Mommy's Helper, much to her delight. The little ones play or help all day long. We are laughing more and having a ton of fun. There is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control in our lives at the present time even though we have been eating things we could not tolerate before. God IS healing us! Everyday we now chant, "We're almost off of the GAPS diet, we're almost off of the GAPS diet, we're almost off of the GAPS diet! Praise the Lord!"

October Update Coming Soon!

2011-10-24T02:17:00.000-05:00

All is well. Life is good. Tolerating many foods. Enjoying every day that the Lord has made! Details in next post. I'm still working on it.

September 12 Update

2011-10-24T01:26:00.000-05:00

I have not written in my blog in forever as life has been busy with cooking, church, homeschool, and just living. School started in September and that has taken a lot of our time. Much has happened in that time and much has been learned. The Bio-Kult did change and it was a bit of a transition, but all is well with it now.

The following is an edited update I emailed to a friend on September 12th:

Truth of God's Word Brings Healing

Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself. Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. A new commandment I give you to love one another just as I have loved you. There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ. It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purposes. We were created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God has prepared in advance for us to do. He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it. He works all things together for good for those who love Him and whom He has called according to His good purposes. He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us a hope and a future. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire, may be proved genuine and bring praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Your faith has healed you. These three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.

God is love. Love heals.

We are finally on full GAPS after nearly two years. We are eating bone broths, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, brussel sprouts, asparagus, onions, garlic, parsley, pepper, tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, apples, peaches, pears, cherries, grapes, bananas, berries, honey, and more!!! I have taken communion on 3-4 occasions now with no adverse affects. CKS (4) drank some juice at VBS by accident and has been fine.

Eczema is gone! Rashes are gone! Rosy cheeks are gone! Echolalia is rare. Eye contact is usually great! Tempers and emotional meltdowns are rare! Development is right on target! Language is blossoming in all of my kids, on or above level. Imaginative play rules the day! Affection and just wanting to be with me is constant. Joy and peace are present in our home and everywhere we go. We get compliments on my children's behavior all the time. Whining and complaining is rare. My kids are genuinely happy and content, despite the fact that they work harder than any other children I know.

Leg cramps are rare. Anxiety is rare. Nightmares and restless sleepless nights are very rare. Poo is daily, sometimes multiple times a day and is more or less formed and brown. Smell of pee and poo is much more pleasant. Still having bedwetting issues, but is now a rare occurrence in our second child. The two who reacted to the vaccine still have lots of issues with frequency and urgency of urination, but they have more days now where it is less of a problem. Christopher has actually, on several occasions, made it through the whole day in the same clothes (today was not one of those days).

Since March, I am leading worship with our praise team. Our children go to Sunday School. We all are present for all of worship every Sunday. We participated in VBS and I lead the music and took pictures for the slide show. My husband put the slide show together. I led the music for the closing program. During VBS and this past week, we also babysat my friend's two little boys (both PDD-NOS) because her father, their grandpa passed away. We also cleaned out the attic, insulated the attic, etcetera, etcetera, and have been renovating the garage to make more room in our small house (which I love because small is so much easier to clean and I know where everyone is pretty nearly all the time).

I tell you all this to give glory to God who worked out all the details and made it all possible and who gave us the strength and ability to do so much. Six months ago, I could barely get through a day and we never knew if we would make it to church on time (we once went for the last five minutes of service). My kids reacted to something every time we walked out the door. I could not even let the littlest ones play at a friend's house.

We are preparing for the start of a new school year. I have my two girls taking classes at a local homeschool co-op for three hours every Friday. My oldest two are participating in Classical Conversations on Tuesdays and will be doing much more academics this year. My littles ones will be home with me except for four hours once a week when they will stay with a friend while I attend the Classical Conversations classes with my daughter (required). I'm stepping out in faith with all of this. I can't see how we are going to do all of this, but I know it is what we need to be doing. I stepped out in faith when I committed to lead the music for VBS and it is amazing how everything came together. I know that God will work out the details on this one, too. (The purpose of Classical Conversations is to know God and to make Him known.)

GAPS is a wonderfully healing and nutritious protocol, but what changed was my relationship with God. He is changing us from the inside out. He is renewing our minds. He is filling us with His Spirit. His Word is powerful and the Truth will set you free. When I began to seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness and I finally began to spend time with the Lord on a daily basis, reading His Word, studying His Word, and talking to Him, then everything began to change.

I have recently discovered that I can make my kids sick in an instant. When I am critical, their symptoms return. The rashes and eczema return. The leg cramps and tummy aches and diarrhea return. When I love on them, they bloom. They can eat fruit and honey! It is still astounding to me that they can finally eat fruit and honey! We try not to overdo it. Our bodies are His temple. Christ lives in us.

We must guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. We must put on the full armor of God. We must love like our Savior loved. God is love and Love heals. All praise and glory and honor to Jesus my Redeemer.

I could go on and on. I have alread gone on for an hour here. I hope it was encouraging. If you think it would be a blessing to anyone else, feel free to share my story. You can read more on my blog, too. Please feel free to send others my way. Gapsfamily.blogspot.com

My faith has grown as a result of this journey and I want others to know the healing power of Christ. GAPS is great, but God is greater!

Regressions - Things are Looking Up

2011-09-06T00:28:00.000-05:00

OK. Still not perfect, but things are getting better. I really am quite convinced that the new Bio-Kult was making an impact.

Regressions - What is Going On Here?!?

2011-09-04T00:21:00.000-05:00

Our youngest three children are having some issues. Our two older children and I seem to be doing fine. I'm trying to figure out what could have happened to cause our current state of being and I have a few ideas.

First I want to say that there has been so much healing that I don't think anyone would have any idea that anything is wrong unless they know my kids well. Most people would likely call their behavior "normal". I know it is not normal for my children anymore.

Our youngest (2 1/2), who has never had a vaccine and who has been on the GAPS diet from the start (4 months old), has been fussy, emotionally reactive, tactile, and rigid. His poos are a mess and stinky and he has a rash in his diaper area. We have not seen that in forever. He also avoids eye contact and has grabbed at his eyes some like CKS did when he regressed.

Our four year old, the one who regressed into autism after the vaccine just over two years ago, is behaving just like his older brother did at the same age. [The blessing in this is that I get to respond to all of the same behaviors as a New Creation in Christ. They are still difficult behaviors to deal with, but I am able to handle everything with more grace this time around. I believe (I know) that this is only temporary.] He has become very tactile. He's gasping for breath, like he did after Christmas. He is always moving. He's constantly humming, groaning, moaning, crying, or talking; never silent. He asks the same questions over and over and tells us the same stuff over and over. He talks and makes noise WHILE I'm talking to him. He can't focus to accomplish simple tasks and needs step by step help. He's eating messy and making messes in the bathroom. He's touching everything and climbing on everything! He itches in places.

Our seven year old, who also changed after receiving the same vaccine, has been itchy and somewhat emotionally reactive.

So here are my thoughts:

We changed eggs to soy-free, corn-free fed chicken eggs.

We started eating more eggs.

Maybe they caught a bug and the regressions come because they are sick.

Bio-Kult changed their packaging and their formula. They took out the maltodextrin.

I think it is the Bio-Kult.

Hopefully it is die-off from a more potent Bio-Kult probiotic and it is bringing a greater degree of healing which will be revealed to us after they get through this. This theory makes sense because the company who sold us the Bio-Kult told me the new capsule and packaging produces a more consistent and potent product. My littlest ones are the ones reacting. Their bodies are smaller. Usually, when it is a food reaction, everyone reacts.

I think we will press on for a bit. I will back off salicylate foods, fruit, and honey. We will eat fewer eggs for a while. If things do not get better soon, I will find a new source of eggs. Next step, I would back off on the Bio-Kult and/or consider switching to Custom Probiotics.

In the meantime, I will pray and trust God to lead us and provide for us. Please pray for us to get through this period of regressions with grace.

More Dry Nights!

2011-08-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

Our little CKS has had many dry nights. This morning he woke up in a dry bed and he was so surprised because he did not get up in the night to go to the bathroom. He kept telling me how surprised he was, over and over and over and over.

We celebrate with a nut and a bit of honey for all when either KES or CKS wakes up dry in the morning. It is so much fun to celebrate their progress in their healing.

CKS has been praying for dry nights! We praise God for answering our prayer. Soon, very soon, our little girl, KES, will begin to have dry night after dry night after dry night. We will praise God and celebrate another step forward in her healing.

Still Eating Salycilates

2011-08-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

When we started the GAPS diet, my older two kids, who remember eating apples before we started the Feingold diet, were on board because they dreamed of eating apples again. September of this year will be our two year anniversary on GAPS. We are eating apples! It is a little bit of heaven on earth. What an wonderful gift to be able to eat apples.

We are also eating berries, nuts, tomatoes, cucumbers and more. After five plus years on the Feingold diet (Stage 1) it is almost to good to be true, but it is absolutely, positively true that we can eat these foods now without reactions! WooHoo!

Always giving thanks to God, who has answered every prayer and has held my hand every step of the way. I truly can rejoice in the trials we have been through. My faith has been proved genuine. May I continue to rest in the knowledge that God has it all in hand and that his plans are good all the time.

Fingers In My Face

2011-08-04T21:36:00.000-05:00

One of the signs that my four year old son is reacting to something is that he will always have his fingers in his face. Usually he will have one finger along the side of his nose with the fingertip in between the bridge of his nose and his eye while the other fingers will be curled up in front of or in his mouth. When really distressed, he will pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger and both hands will be in his face.

Today, I realized that it has been several days, at least, since I have seen him do this. Dry nights and fingers away from his face. Also, his eye-contact has been great and his verbal and reasoning skills are excellent! He is so happy and fun and amazing! I thank my God for this amazing kid!

Park Day

2011-08-04T21:27:00.000-05:00

Oh, what fun we had at the park, me with my two little ones (ages 2 & 4). We had fun in the car as we anticipated our arrival and what we would do once we got there. We got out and proceeded to carry out our plans and then we just played a little of this and a little of that, whatever we found interesting to do in the moment. It was hot, very hot, but that didn't stop us from having fun. We got in the van and decided to skip visiting the ducks, but once they had been wiped down with cool wipes they changed their minds again. All the way home, we discussed our plans for cleaning up with a "scrub-a-dub-dub" in the tub and for cooling off with a cup of water and a single ice cube. We decided on a video to watch while I put dinner on the table. I thoroughly enjoyed every stinkin' hot minute of it.

This is in contrast to anything before GAPS. When my oldest was little, he hated to be outside. He complained about everything. Then again, he complained about everything when he was inside, too. I tried to be a good mommy and take my kids to the park to play, but it was an out and out miserable experience for all. For one, I never felt good. I was tired and the heat made me miserable. My children, who were supposed to love running and jumping and playing out in the fresh air, did not enjoy being outside. They were tired and the heat made them miserable.

Oh, oh, oh, we used to get eaten up by mosquitoes, but not anymore! Actually, I think we do get some bites, but we don't react to them so much anymore. If we do get a bite and it itches, then we put some Cortsym homeopathic gel on it and it goes away (works on rashes and hives, too). I go outside every morning to read my Bible, talk to God, and garden. The mosquitoes swarm around me, but they do not land on me. I have noticed that when my thoughts are negative, they bite. (If anyone reading my blog notices this to be true, too, please let me know. I would be very interested.)

One day I went out and the mosquitoes were all over me and I told them to go away and that I didn't want them to bite me. I told them, "I don't need this or want this so go away." They did. When my daughter came out, they were eating her up and I told her to rebuke them and tell them to go away. I told her what I said and she did it. The mosquitoes did not bite her anymore and the bites she got went away and did not itch. Amazing!

I used to be afraid to go outside during the summer because of the mosquitoes and I hated the heat because it sapped my energy away and I hated to sweat. Now I love going outside. I am not afraid of the bugs anymore. The sun does not drain away my energy and I don't mind sweating at all anymore. So much has changed. My thoughts about it all have changed. I now see the sun as healing and nourishing. I now see that sweating is a great way to detoxify. Mosquitoes and other bugs pretty much stay away from, or don't cause reactions in, healthy bodies. I was also scared of the dirt. No more!

At the park, there were bugs. It was hot. We did sweat a lot. We got dirty. Their feet were filthy. We even had a boo boo or two, but it was no big deal. Skinned a knee, but no band aid was needed. Can you believe it?!?

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! Amen!

Dry Nights

2011-08-03T00:32:00.000-05:00

WooHoo! Our little CKS (4) has had three dry nights in less than one week and two were consecutive!!! He has virtually never had a dry night. KES (7) still has not had a dry night, but on occasion, lately, her bedding is not quite so drenched. SSS (2) is off and on with the dry nights. KRS (10) is usually dry now. Praise God for more healing! Praise Him for more victory!

I Make My Kids Sick

2011-07-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

This is truly humbling and empowering. It is humbling because I must take responsibility for the choices I make that affect my children in adverse ways. It is empowering because I can make choices that affect my children in wonderful, nurturing, healing ways.

We had an amazing week of VBS (plus home improvement, plus babysit for friends in need, plus garage sale) and everyone did remarkably well. Attitudes were positive. We tolerated much stress and much exposure throughout the week.

Towards the end of the week, one of our kids caught a cold and it is making it's way around. Currently, three of our kids are sick. Home renovations continue. I was tired after the busy week and didn't want to have to deal with "stuff" and I got a bit irritable and mean on Sunday and Monday. Lo and behold, KES began to itch in those private places again and also her eczema returned so that she was beginning to create scabs in her forehead again. I changed my ways and I was as sweet as pie (squash pie sweetened with a bit of honey) and my little girl was as fine as could be today. She even had a little fruit today and everyday. We have not backed off on having some fruit or honey everyday. It is consistently true that when I have a bad attitude, which leads to a grumpy and miserable day, all of the kids have reactions, particularly the ones who get in my way. I am actually making my kids sick. My sin makes my kids sick. Now the cold is simply unfortunate. I'm talking about their reactions to food and the environment and how it is related to our thinking.

God's Word does tell us that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (can't remember the reference at the moment). When we were afraid of food, we seemed to react to just about everything.

Also, consider this...after reading through Matthew, Mark, and half of Luke these past few months I began to see that when Jesus healed someone, He almost always said "your faith has healed you." or something along those lines. In his own hometown it was noted that He could not do any miracles there, "except to lay His hands on a few and heal them and He marveled at their lack of faith." There is definitely a connection between what we believe and the results we receive.

In Psalm 103:2-3 it says, "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases."

There is a connection between being forgiven and being healed. We see this daily. When KES feels that she is forgiven and loved, then she does well. When I finally realized that I am truly free from sin and that "there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ," and when I realized that "it was for freedom that Christ has set us free" and that He does not want me to be burdened again by a yoke of slavery, then I stopped living a life full of guilt, shame, obligation, etc. Once I was free of the guilt, I began to heal at an astounding rate. I have tolerated everything I have tried (so far only full GAPS food other than communion) but we will continue to add in new food. I believe it will all go well. We have already added so many new foods. I can take communion!!!

If we are not completely healed in this life, I know without a doubt that we will be whole and perfect when Jesus comes again.

In the meantime, I try to be full of praise and thanksgiving for all of the little things (big things, too, of course) and to keep my thoughts on things that are good. God is God and He knows what He is talking about when He tells us in His Word to think about things that are good and lovely and right (Philippians 4:8). He also tells us not to be anxious about anything, but instead we are to talk to Him about everything. We are to be thankful and we are to ask Him for whatever we need (Philippians 4:6). Also, rejoice in the Lord, always! Paul says it again, "Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4-5) When we do these things, God gives us His peace (Philippians 4:7).

I am so full of joy for all that the Lord has done in our lives through this journey. I want to love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my strength and I want to love my neighbor as myself. The benefits of trusting God and obeying His Word are amazing! Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

I make my kids well by loving them the way that my Lord loves me.

What an Amazing Week!

2011-07-16T00:24:00.000-05:00

Can I write it all down in twenty minutes or less so I can get to bed by midnight?

This week was our Vacation Bible School week. I lead the music for VBS. I love it! I have the best volunteer job of all. I also take pictures of everything and my husband puts a slideshow together to show at the closing program. It is a lot of fun!

Last year we skipped VBS altogether. It was just too much to think about and too many dangers. Besides the kids rarely felt well and you never knew if it was going to be a bad week or a good week. Everything was always up in the air. We missed it, but it had to be so.

This year, we knew it would be a challenge, but we wanted to give it a try. I stepped out on faith that we could do it, with God's help, and I committed to lead the music. I had no idea how we would be able to do it. It didn't seem possible, but I just had to trust God to work out the details...and boy did He ever!

Not only did we manage to make it through a week of VBS, but we did so with grace. All praise to God, our Heavenly Father, for making it so. We made it out the door on time every morning with smiling faces and lots of excitement. Everyone took a bath in the morning before VBS and another one after VBS. Meals were simple and planned out to every detail. My husband and I did food prep over the weekend and a little every night. They drank water every morning. They took their gut bugs (probiotics), carrot juice, and fermented CLO upon waking and ate pizza eggs in the car on the way to church for breakfast. I made and delivered GAPS snacks to my children during snack time (mango, pear slices with nut butter, banana nut muffins with honey and a nut on top). Lunch was ground meat and onions, veggies, salad, broth, and sauerkraut everyday. Dinner was soup and salad everyday. We usually had a snack in the afternoon, too.

Not only did we manage to make it through a week of VBS with grace, but we also cleaned up the garage, cleared out the attic, insulated the entire attic with fluffy pink stuff, and organized and priced stuff for a garage sale, which I am having tomorrow to fund some renovations. All of this was supposed to happen next week after VBS was over, but my husband misunderstood my plan and I decided to go with it. He is going to build in our garage, add outlets, and insulate it to make a large playroom for the kids since the two small bedrooms are full of beds and clothes. I am so thankful that he is willing to take off of work and spend the time and money it takes to do this. The kids are so thankful to be getting a cool and bug free space of their own.

We had our closing program tonight, where I lead the kids in singing six of our VBS songs and gave a summary of all that we learned this week. After, we had an ice cream social for VBS participants and for our church. We got the kids to bed a bit late tonight so I plan to let them sleep in a bit tomorrow morning. Several of the kids are having reactions to ???, but all in all, it isn't so bad. They will recover. We all will.

Did I mention that I got to meet a whole bunch of really neat kids and did I mention how much fun it was to lead them in worship and to teach them about Jesus? What an amazing week!

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for working out all the details and for making this such an amazing week. Lord I really stepped out on faith, not knowing how in the world we could pull off a week of VBS, but we were able to do so much more than I ever dreamed we could do. It was all you! I am in awe of You! Amen.

Communion

2011-07-06T21:35:00.002-05:00

I have been taking communion once a month with no reactions! WooHoo!

Love Heals

2011-07-06T21:33:00.000-05:00

The healing continues. We are definitely seeing that feeling loved and accepted helps the healing process. Laughter truly is the best medicine.

We are all eating a nice variety of food each day. We love cooking and eating. Since everyone can now tolerate fruit and honey, our snacks and meals have gotten a bit more creative. We made chicken salad yesterday, and because everyone loved it so much we made it again today.

Recipe for dairy free chicken salad: chopped up chicken, chicken patè (in place of yogurt or mayo), chopped raw onion, chopped apple, chopped grapes, salt, and pepper.

God is healing us spiritually! He has freed us from fear, guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, etc. It tries to sneak in here and there, but we are quick to catch it and say, "NO! No more!!!" God is transforming us by the renewing of our minds and we are changing the way we talk and the way we think about things. As a result, we are tolerating everything better. Healing is easier, for sure, when your body is not constantly being pumped full of bad chemicals produced by bad thoughts. Dr. McBride mentions this on her website under the FAQ question under adrenals as quoted below:

"1. What recommendations are there for GAPS patients for boosting their adrenals?
Adrenals love fat and cholesterol. So, as far as the diet is concerned, eat lots of animal fats with every meal and cholesterol-rich foods, such as egg yolks, sour cream, butter and fatty fish. Another essential for the adrenals is sleep! Sleep is really not optional, so organise your life in such a way that you can have a nap every afternoon and a good long sleep at night. Another essential is to lower your stress, which is easier done than you may think. Stress is not the event itself; it is your attitude to this event. Research shows, that people react to stress very differently depending on their attitude to life. The one, who generally has a negative personality and tends to worry a lot, has all the stress hormones and destructive chemicals racing around their bodies. But the person, who has a philosophical and positive attitude to life, will have much less stress chemicals in their blood and will cope much better. It is the first type of people that “burn” their adrenals out. There are excellent books on this subject: you can start from Dale Carnegie’s book “How to stop worrying and start living”, for example."

I had a bad week, feeling irritable and angry, right after the homeschool conference. The children started reacting to the food again, or were they reacting to me?!? Rashes, eczema, and behaviors returned a bit. I immediately changed my thinking and began to act lovingly once again to my children and all of the reactions went away.

This week, my oldest started to sneak food (all GAPS legal and all well tolerated foods). He seemed to be reacting to something, but I could not guess what it could be. He reverted back to old rules. His memory became very poor. He started eating too much food at meals and would shovel it in and swallow without chewing (something he used to do all the time before GAPS). He made poor decisions. He didn't feel well and stopped getting up early in the morning and would move slowly and scuffle his feet while doing chores. I could not figure out why he was acting like this. Then...I discovered that someone had eaten half the bag of grapes in a matter of two days. Then I remembered that there didn't seem to be as many nuts as I was expecting when I put them in jars after dehydrating them. I asked him about these things and he confessed to eating them. I told him that I thought the guilt and the shame of stealing food and hiding it was probably what was making him sick. He agreed. I forgave him and even told him that it would be fine for him to take a nibble here and there throughout the day (keeping it to a minimum). Today was a great day!

I really do believe that fear, guilt, shame, anger, bitterness, and negative thoughts of any kind really do make us sick. Believing that I am truly forgiven by God and knowing that "there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ." is indeed THE reason that I can now eat food that I couldn't tolerate before. Jesus is in me and the fruit of the Spirit is now evident in my life. The fruit is showing in my kids, too.

Not only is God healing us physically and spiritually, but new life is popping up all around us. Did I mention that I am gardening and that I go out and tend my garden and yard every morning after my Bible study? Also, we are caring for and learning about fish and rats and turtles (our pets). I used to think of gardening and pets as too much work, but I am learning so many new and wonderful things from reading God's Word and from observing God's World. It is all very exciting and wonderful! I love it! I enjoy the work so much now.

We are also serving in the body of Christ by leading worship on Sunday morning (I am on the praise team), teaching Sunday School (my dear husband), babysitting the pastors kids from time to time as they make hospital visits and such (as a family), and watching other children when needs arise (as a family). Also, I will be leading music for VBS next week and taking photos for the slide show and my husband will put the slideshow together. I am not bragging! All of this is a joy and comes so easily (totally NOT out of obligation) because God has done a mighty work of regeneration in our hearts. "It is God who works in us to will and to act according to His good purposes." (Phillipians 2:13) It feels so wonderful to use the gifts that we have and to serve in ways that fit our circumstances right now. We are doing what we were created to do, "for we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)

In the book of John, it is repeated over and over again that a new command is given to Love one another. We are to love one another. We are to forgive, just as the Lord has forgiven us. We are to love the Lord with all our hearts, with all our souls, with all our minds, and love our neighbors as ourselves.

Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey. What are we to obey? The law of the Old Testament? No. The new commandment to love one another? Yes.

In our house, we are loving one another. Laughter fills the air. We are healing.

Love heals!

They Did It, Again!

2011-06-18T22:24:00.000-05:00

Wow! Last night my little CKS woke up about 3:30am and threw up. I have no idea why. My oldest two feel a bit under the weather today, too. Detox baths helped. I went ahead and left them with the babysitter so I could participate in the last day of the conference. They did fine.

Almost all of everything got done today. One load of laundry was still waiting to be washed, the dishwasher was not started, and dinner was not on the table when I arrived at home, but everything else was done. Still, pretty amazing. Two loads of laundry were done, beds were made, rooms were somewhat tidy, probiotics were given, juice and cod liver oil were given, lunch and snack were served, eaten, and cleaned up, they played a bunch and everyone was happy. They did it!

They Did It!

2011-06-17T21:35:00.000-05:00

They did it! The kids had to carry out all of the basic chores all on their own and they did it! We worked hard during the first part of the week to prepare for this weekend. I'm gone all day for three days, my husband is out of town, and a babysitter is staying all day with my kids. Laundry was washed, folded, and put away (only pee pee laundry as we finished the rest of the laundry during the first part of the week). All beds were made with dry sheets. All meals and snacks were served, eaten, and cleaned up. Dishwasher was loaded. Rooms were all tidy when I got home. Dinner was on the table. They played. They read books. They played Wii games, which is a rare treat for my kids. They did art together (my girls are artists and our babysitter is an amazing artist). They did it!

I am so proud of them. They did it because God has been working in us and they wanted to do it and do it well. They knew I was counting on them, but they were not afraid of getting in trouble. In fact, I had expected that a few things might be forgotten and I had made up my mind to overlook anything unfinished and simply praise them for what they did well and encourage them to remember tomorrow, but they did it all. Our babysitter kept telling me over and over how wonderful they were. She had only positive things to say. Mind you she was with them for ten hours from 7:30am to 5:30pm and she still plans to be here again tomorrow. I am so proud of them. All glory to God! He did this.

Side note: I am enjoying my time away and I am learning so much about how to teach my children classically. I am more and more excited about this coming school year. It is delightful to let go and trust God that all is well. I thought to call home a few times to check on the children and to remind them about what to do, but I am so glad I resisted the temptation. It was their opportunity to shine! They DID!

Praise be to God, our Heavenly Father, for His great love for us. It is God who works in us to will and to act according to His good purposes, for we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do. We will be able to do God's work because He is preparing us to do the work. We can not boast in ourselves. It is by grace we have been saved, through faith, and it is a gift from God, bought and paid for by the blood of Christ! I can now say with confidence that Christ lives in me!

Quiet Time

2011-06-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

What an amazing blessing!!! I am ever amazed at what God is doing in my life and in the life of my family. I have started reading through the Bible and have been working to hide God's Word in my heart by memorizing scripture using the Say and Do method. I am working my way through a Bible study at my own pace and I am really taking it in, stopping to ponder, reflect, and apply what I am learning to my everyday life. I am talking with God every morning and throughout the day about anything and everything. I ask Him questions. I tell Him what I am thinking. I talk to God as if He is right there next to me, and He IS. He is real. He is there. I can't see Him or hear His voice, but He answers me. I read His Word, fully expecting Him to speak to me through His Word. He does. Jeremiah 33:3 says, "Ask me and I will tell you great and unsearchable things that you have never known."

Seek God by reading His Word, talk to Him about everything, and ask Him to teach you great and unsearchable things that you have never known. HE WILL! Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Proverbs

2011-06-16T21:08:00.000-05:00

Chapter 4:20-23 - "My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and HEALTH TO A MAN'S WHOLE BODY. Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

My Amazing God

2011-06-16T21:04:00.000-05:00

Of course, He's amazing! God has been teaching me so much through His Word and then He keeps confirming the truth of what I am learning. He teaches me something and when I am sure that I know what I know, someone else tells me what I just learned so that I am constantly saying to my children, "That is exactly what I was just telling you about."

It is good for them (and me) to see that God has revealed the same things to others who have also sought out His wisdom. It only makes sense. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. A new revalation for me is only new to me. It makes sense that He would reveal the same things to others.

This morning I wanted to read a short bit of scripture to ponder as I got dressed and ready for my homeschool conference. I read the first part of Ephesians 2 about how we once lived as slaves to sin and while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. It is by grace that we we have been saved, through faith, and it is the gift of God so that no one can boast. By divine decree, the coordinator of our conference began the day with a short devotional based on Ephesians 2:3-5.

During the conference, I was filled with such joy to discover that what the Lord has been teaching me lines up perfectly with the program we are about to commence. He has been preparing us for this. The purpose of Classical Conversations is to know God and to make him known. I have been praying for my children to be mighty warriors in God's kingdom. They will be!

Also, the theme of love keeps coming up again and again, in the Word, of course, and also in other places, like the Son-Rise Program for healing autism, our church during a time of transition, Classical Conversations conference, and in conversations with others. Love is healing me. Love is healing my kids. When they tantrum or cry or whatever, we now respond in love (God has made this possible in me) and peace comes. Still, no eczema. Still doing well.

I truly believe that because I have been set free from guilt, shame, fear, anger, and all kinds of negativity, that my body is healing very fast and is tolerating and accepting all kinds of new foods. I truly believe that because I am now filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control and that I am loving and accepting my children for who they are and where they are and am not placing demands on them to be more than who they are, that they are experiencing freedom from guilt, shame, fear, anger, and all kinds of negativity and, therefore, they are healing very fast and are tolerating and accepting all kinds of new foods. Also, we are not afraid to try new food anymore. We eat all of our food with thanksgiving and rejoice that it is food we can eat.

I am eating nuts and fruit and I am no longer very bloated. Truly, the battle is the Lord's. If he can take 300 men and defeat thousands upon thousands of Israel's enemies, then he can take whatever good gut bugs I have managed to put in my body and multiply them. He will balance everything out. I'm only guessing at what I need. He knows exactly what I need.

Psalm 103 - Praise the Lord, oh my soul! Praise His holy name! Praise the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. Who redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and mercy.

He has redeemed my life from the pit! I rejoice in the trials He has ordained for me because through it He has been refining me and has been making me more beautiful. Jesus is IN me. Really! He really IS in me. Thank You, my Lord!

Still No Eczema

2011-06-14T23:03:00.000-05:00

We added mushrooms yesterday. Still no eczema. They had some nut butter with honey yesterday. Everyone had a few grapes today. Everyone is just fine.

I have been eating nuts, apples, grapes, strawberries and more, in addition to soups, broths, salads, and ferments. I am on top of the world. I am so full of gratitude towards my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for the change He has brought about in me and in our whole family!

My children listen better. They rarely interrupt anymore. They have stopped commenting on everything all day long. They are figuring out what it is that they want or need and they are finding the words to ask for it, instead of whining, complaining, or throwing a tantrum. When those behaviors do happen, they cease when the children are reminded to think about what it is that they want or need and ask with nice words. They are working cheerfully and quietly. They are working with each other instead of against each other. They have learned to yield to those who are older. (and on and on and on)

OK, my two older boys (4&12) are having a few issues yesterday and today, but we have figured out that they are reacting to their cousin (cologne? deodorant? detergent?). They have been hanging out together in a small bedroom all afternoon for the last three days. MKS had to change his bedsheets because there was such a strong scent in them. He has been anxious and teary. Little CKS, is getting rough red cheeks and his eye-contact is now very minimal. He has been complaining of headaches. He is putting everything in his mouth and has been licking stuff. He has grabbed at my face during prayer for the past two nights. (and on and on) He has not done these things for at least a month or more, and nothing like what he is doing today. He is emotionally reactive, too, but he is a good little boy and he listens when we remind him to think and ask. He tries hard to look at us when we ask him to, but you can tell it is difficult. These are definitely reactions to the scent. We have experienced this before. Bathroom air fresheners, insecticides, fabric softeners, and other scented products do cause regression in our little boy and reactions in all of us. I am thankful that there are only two more days for the cousins to play together. I'm glad they get to have a good relationship with each other and spend this time together, but...

Oh! This makes me think...we ought to let our babysitter know that she will have a better time of it if she skips the deodorant and perfume this weekend. Hmm. Never would have thought of that.

Victory in Jesus!

2011-06-14T00:50:00.000-05:00

Today I nearly melted down on two occasions because I have a lot to do in the next three days to prepare for a homeschool conference that I am going to this weekend. My husband is going out of town this weekend. We have a babysitter coming to watch the kids.

Unexpectedly, my sister's kids came to visit for the week and so we have to get the kids together. Stress for me. My husband is sick, fever included. Stress for me. He's home instead of at work. I thrive on routine, so this is somewhat stressful for me to have all of these unexpected things come up. Also, my oldest daughter has not been feeling well and is unable to help as much as she normally would. I increased my probiotic on Sunday. I have been eating all kinds of new food. These things would have caused me stress in the past.

Today I handled things differently. Because of what God is doing in my heart, I did things differently. I prayed. I explained my fears to my children, making sure they understood that I was not blaming them for my anxiety and asked them for help to figure out how to get it all done. We came up with some great ideas and everyone was agreeable to do what had to be done.

They suggested that we push back the time the cousins would come over to play, in order to give us more time to finish everything before they got here. They suggested that we let KRS take a detox bath and just rest until she felt ready to come and help, if at all. MKS and I would run around super fast trying to do everything ourselves. We prayed together about the day, thanking God for helping us to work things out together in love.

Other things came up, too, but we worked through it all with respect and love. We DID get it ALL done before the cousins arrived. I was able to go to a meeting I had in the evening. My older children put my younger children to bed and put themselves to bed, while their daddy rested in the back. They did not ask for his help. They did it! They did it all by themselves. What great kids! We have come such a long way!!!

Also, we continue to eat the food we added in, including fruit and honey. No eczema! None! Not on anyone! Praise the Lord!

God IS healing us!!! He is healing us spiritually and the physical healing is following. Hate hurts! Love heals!

What is the greatest commandment? To love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Jesus, my faith in You has grown through all of this and I am truly filled with the Spirit, so that I truly love others. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I have to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It always perseveres. Love never fails.

These three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.

Jesus fulfilled the law and gave us a new commandment to love one another. We are to love each other the way that He loves us. If we love Jesus, then we will follow His commands. Whoever follows His commands loves Jesus. His command is to love.

When I became anxious and afraid today, I responded in love. It is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purposes. I responded in love. Victory in Jesus!

Beautiful Clear Skin

2011-06-11T20:58:00.000-05:00

Today we had watermelon for snack. Yum! So refreshing on a hot summer day in Texas to be eating watermelon. I also gave some of the kids some raw local honey with the honeycomb from a local farmer. Delicious! Skin is clear. Behavior is fine. Attitudes are cheerful! Yeast is under control!

We had cauliflower and broccoli again today. It is such a treat to have all of these foods after going without for so long. We feel like we are having a feast at every meal. We have also been making salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, carrot, and avocado. We mix in some sauerkraut with a little sauerkraut juice as our dressing. It is delightful.

May all who read this post find the same kind of success in their own homes and may they be as delighted as we are to be enjoying the bounty of what God has made for our pleasure and for our nourishment. Let it be so.

No eczema and No other reactions

2011-06-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

In the last two weeks we have added tomatoes in for everyone. We had cucumbers once. We are eating broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, brussel sprouts, and asparagus. We've been making soups with bone broths. We are cooking with garlic.

I have been giving the little boys grapes and even apple. Yesterday, I gave my daughter, KES, two bites of apple and a bit of honey. NO eczema! Today, I gave her a few grapes and a bit of honey (not together). NO eczema!!!

My four year old is not having any problems either. His eye-contact is hit or miss, but it is there at least some of the time every day. He smiles a lot. He talks constantly. He plays make-believe. He is very interactive. He begins to freak out over something not being the way he expected or wanted it to be, but he responds well when reminded to stop, think, and use nice words. My actual words with him and his two year old brother are, "Think about what you want or need and ask for it with nice words." He can do this now. He is not sensory seeking. His rashes are gone, except for one in his diaper area because he still wets the bed.

OK, bedwetting is still an issue for us and it has gotten a little worse since we added in all of these new foods, but I believe it will be resolved very soon.

God IS healing us! GAPS helps. Staying away from toxins as much as possible helps. The allergy treatment helped. The drops for parasites might be helping. All of these things help, but it IS God who is healing us.

Did I mention that I have been increasing my Bio-Kult by a half capsule every 2-4 days? I am not getting angry or rigid. I started my last cycle right at 28 days and was so surprised. I had no PMS symptoms at all. I was expecting to start 4 days late, as usual. I'm eating all of the food I mentioned above an I am not having any discernible reaction. God IS healing us!

Here is what is different: My older three children and I get up early every morning and read the Bible and talk to God about everything. It is a great way to start the day, connecting with the Creator of Everything! He has been changing us from the inside out. He is changing our hearts. My oldest girl (10) told me that she thought that God was healing our spirits and as a result He is healing our bodies. I believe that she is exactly right. I was thinking the same thing. Ever since we have made it a priority to Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness, things have been changing for us. God is very real and ever present in our lives. He really does speak to us through His Word. He really does answer our prayers. His Word really is the Truth. Jesus gave us a new commandment to love one another. We have been learning how to love, to truly love one another.

To confirm that I was on the right track, I found out about the Son-Rise Program for healing children with autism. Some of the key principles of the program are joining the child, loving and accepting them for who they are right now, and focusing on connecting and building relationships. This is basically what I was beginning to do with my own children. As a result, I now have their hearts. I truly love them and they truly love me. My younger daughter (7) told me yesterday morning that she was glad that God made me to be her mother and that she loved me very much. She has been helping very cheerfully with chores and tells me that she finally feels like a seven year old, which tells me that she feels proud of herself for willingly choosing to do big kid stuff. I knew the moment she told me how much she loved me that she was going to be able to eat some fruit or honey. I just knew it!

Our negative thoughts create a whole cascade of chemical reactions in our physical bodies that are detrimental to our health. Feelings of guilt, shame, fear, anger, hatred, bitterness, or any negative thoughts are detrimental to our physical health. When we get nervous, we get butterflies in our stomachs. When we get angry, we feel hot. When we are hurt and feeling sad or depressed we feel shaky or cold. When we are stressed, we get tense or we get a headache. Negative thoughts or feelings have a negative effect on our physical health. God knows this. He created us!

As we have been reading God's Word and memorizing scripture (hiding God's Word in our hearts) and as we have been talking it over with each other and with God, He has been making His thoughts our thoughts and He has been making His ways our ways. We have made a game out of trying to say everything in the positive. We strive to say only what will bless others. We think about things that are lovely, noble, and right. We praise God and we thank Him for everything. We have stopped looking at both sides of the coin. We have stopped playing the devil's advocate about everything. We have stopped making thoughtless comments all day long. We have started to look for ways to bless each other with our words and with our actions. We respond to each other in love and try to understand each other. Oh, how we have been changed.

It is because God has set us free from guilt, shame, anger, frustration, and negativity in general that we are really beginning to heal. God led us to GAPS. GAPS has been a real help to us and we are still following GAPS. God has used this journey to teach us many things and to bring us back to Him. By believing in Jesus and obeying Him by loving each other, as well as others who are difficult to love, we are being healed. Jesus said many times when he healed people that it was their faith that healed them. I thought I had faith, and I did, but it needed to grow. Now, what I thought I believed, what I wanted to believe, I truly do believe!

I am thankful for everything that we have been through and I gladly take whatever is to come because God knows what He is doing. He has it all in hand. He is good and He is good all the time. He has a plan for us and he plans to give us a hope and a future. I rejoice in my trials, even the trials of these past few years, because my faith has been proven genuine and will bring praise glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

May it be so for all who hear our story that they, too, will rejoice in their own trials and find that they, too, have a genuine faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that will bring Him praise, glory and honor, when He is revealed. Our God reigns!

Remembering People

2011-06-08T21:30:00.001-05:00

I have had several requests to share what I have learned about learning people's names and remembering important things about them so that when we meet again I can feel confident speaking knowledgeably with them.

I used to forget the names of people I knew that I knew. I would see people week after week at church and be very familiar with their faces, but I would not know their names or remember what has been going on in their lives. This made me very nervous and uncomfortable speaking with them, for I might say something very inappropriate. What if their mother had recently passed and everyone in the church knew this, but I forgot and somehow started talking about how wonderful it is to have my mother so close to be able to spend time with my children? I lived in constant fear of saying the wrong thing. I worried I would call someone by the wrong name and I often did. A number of years back, I just decided to admit my weakness to people and ask them their names over and over again, but it is hard to swallow one's pride so regularly. However, most people in turn confess to me that they also struggle with the same thing.

One thing I would do to avoid feeling embarrassed for not knowing much about someone was to keep talking about things I was familiar with. I would listen for things I could connect with and join in and share on those points, so I wasn't really listening to learn, rather I was listening to connect.

Now I use my mouth and my body to help me remember people's names and remember some of what they tell me. I really listen to what people tell me and I repeat back much of what they tell me. When someone tells me their name, I say their name and I ask them how they spell it. I ask them what their last name is. I say their whole name out loud and ask if I pronounced it correctly. I might tell them what a beautiful name they have and ask how they got such an unusual name or what ethnicity is their name. I ask where they moved from or where they were born or how they came to be in Houston. I confirm what they tell me, which gives me an opportunity to say out loud the very same information I just heard so it has a second opportunity to stick.

When listening only, you have put the information into your mind only once and using only your ears. When repeating what someone has told you, you are using two to four modalities to imprint it into your mind. I say it with my mouth and hear my own voice with my ears. That's two. Often when I talk, I will use my hands and of course my eyes see the other person's face and also what my hand's are doing. I might point to the person or shake their hand when I repeat their name back to them. It all looks and feels natural and the other person is blessed because, admit it, we all love it when someone else takes a special interest in us and really listens to what we have to say. When I repeat something back to someone and confirm what they have just told me, they know that I am really listening and that I really care. It works out great for everyone because I remember what I need to remember and the other person knows that I care enough to get it right.

So here's the deal. I used to listen passively, taking in all manner of information using only my ears while panicking on the inside because I knew I would never remember much, if anything. I listened selfishly, looking for things I could connect with so I could talk about things I felt comfortable talking about, all the while worrying about what the other person thought of me. Now I listen actively, purposing to take in information. I ask lots of questions and confirm the answers in order to make lots of connections in my mind, all the while looking at the face of the one I am talking with. I do not worry what the other person is thinking of me because we are not talking about me and I know that the person will think well of me because I took an interest in them. Pretty cool deal!

Update: The day after I posted this, I was listening to a seminar (about listening being the most important communication skill) by Jeff Meyers and interestingly enough he confirmed that nearly all of what I have learned on my own is true for others as well. We differed on at least one point, plus he knew stuff I had not yet figured out for myself. He said to ask "infrequent" questions. I wrote that I ask lots of questions. I thought I should clarify that I ask lots of questions at the beginning of the conversation to help me remember names and a few details about the individual, but after the initial introduction it is mostly listening. I do interact by confirming that I have heard things correctly and by checking on the meaning of what they are saying. Paraphrasing what someone has said helps the other person to be confident that you heard and understood what they have said, gives them an opportunity to clarify anything that was not understood correctly, and helps you to stay engaged in the conversation, which in turn helps you to remember the conversation.

Say and Do

2011-06-07T21:00:00.000-05:00

As a homeschooling mama, I want to make the most of every moment. As a mom of at least one child who could not seem to remember directions long enough to carry out the task. Actually, he could not carry out the task because he did not process what he heard correctly. Diet has helped some, but Say and Do, together with diet, has worked very successfully to get information to stick and be useful.

I learned about it from a language arts curriculum I bought for my kids. I could not make the curriculum work for us, but the concept of using four modalities at the same time to imprint information into your brain has been life changing. My oldest could not do it at first, but now he uses it for everything and it makes such a difference.

It works like this: You say what you are doing as you do it in order to learn new information. As you SAY it, you HEAR it. As you DO it, you SEE what you are doing. Say, hear, do, see.

Example: My son could not remember how many days there are in one year after much repetition in his math curriculum. After one ten minute practice with Say and Do, he has never forgotten it. I asked him the question, "How many days are there in one year?" and he had to answer in a complete sentence, "There are 365 days in one year." while doing something with his body to help him remember what he was saying. He could write 365 days in the air, sign for the word day, and hold up one finger, while speaking the sentence. He resisted, but he did it, and he has never forgotten it.

Example: Everytime my little kids go to the bathroom, I sing (in a fun and lively way) "I gotta flush the potty and wash my hands with soap. I gotta flush the potty and wash my hands with soap." They sing it with me as they do it. It imprints the message into their minds so that every time they go to the bathroom the song pops into their minds and the remember what they need to do.

Example: One of my children had troubles remembering not to talk about private things outside of the immediate family. This child might share some embarrassing private bodily issue, like another sibling's bedwetting or details about a rash in some inconvenient place, with others. We purposed to put the statement in the positive and practice it and review it many times so that when the situation arrives where one might be tempted to share such things it will pop into our minds that, "Speaking publicly about private things is always inappropriate." We make our fingers move from our mouths out toward others, we subtly indicate private places, and we give two thumbs down while we practice or review the statement at home. It has indeed helped my children to think first before sharing private matters with others. When little ones rush on with their thoughts, I can stop them by simply calling their name, making my fingers move out from my mouth, and giving one or two thumbs down, depending on how many hands I have free. It is very helpful to reign in all of the inappropriate talk that used to rush on like a runaway horse.

Example: My oldest uses Say and Do to memorize formulas and definitions of technical terms for math and language arts. He can easily tell you the definitions of parts of speech and formulas for working out various math equations. This child could not remember to use capital letters to begin sentences and names. Now he has no issues remembering such things.

It is important to use the exact same words and actions every time you practice and review any information you are trying to learn and imprint in your mind. It is important to Do something while you Say it.

My oldest had much trouble at first. He could not repeat a sentence exactly as I said it and he could not coordinate his body to do something at the same time. He would get very frustrated with me. He would try to say the same thing, but with slightly different words each time. It did not imprint in his mind. He could not remember it the next day or even a few hours later. It actually took several years to convince him that this method worked, because, even though he could remember the things I made him learn using the Say and Do method, he refused to be exact in his wording and actions on other things and therefore could not remember stuff.

When I tell my children something, I now expect them to give me a positive response using the Say and Do method. They do not have to like what I am saying or agree with what I am saying, but they must let me know that they heard and understand what I have told them. If I tell them that they need to remember to put their shoes away in the shoe cubbies when they come into the house, then they say something like, "I understand that you want me to remember to put my shoes in the shoe cubby when I come in from outside." or "Right. I need to put my shoes in the cubby when I come in." or "OK, I will put my shoes in the cubby when I come into the house." If they continue to forget the request, I help them form a positive sentence with actions and we practice it. It might be something like, "When I come into the house, I put my shoes into the cubby." I might have them make a roof shape with their two hands then point to their shoes.

We are having fun with it now, trying to say everything in a positive statement, say everything with as few words as possible, and come up with a few simple actions to help us remember the words.

These are some positive changes that have helped our family to better communicate with one another and to better remember the things we learn from one another so that we get along more peaceably with one another.

My oldest is actually excited about starting a new, more challenging curriculum next fall, because he now knows that he can learn and organize information in a meaningful way and retrieve the information when it is needed, instead of just randomly remembering information when something triggers it and feeling compelled to share it right then and there because he might not remember it when he wants to share it later. Pretty cool stuff!!! I, too, can learn and organize information in a meaningful way and retrieve the information when it is needed. I am remembering the names of people I meet along with interesting or important information about them that will help me to feel comfortable and knowledgeable when we meet again. Very cool! I may share the specifics of my methods in a later post.

Thank You, Lord, for all of the ways that You are growing us and changing us to be more effective witnesses for Your glory. Amen!

Changes

2011-06-05T21:26:00.000-05:00

Things are changing around here. Lots of healing has taken place, yet we have a ways to go. It is still a delicate balance, but it IS wonderful to be in a place where we can make some changes.

I am trying to simplify things and streamline things. I am trying to establish healthy routines to make life easier. There are certain things that have to be done everyday, like it or not. I try to get those things done as early in the day as possible. Wet bedding gets first priority everyday, then the regular laundry. Juicing and lunch prep gets priority, then food prep for dinner and thinking ahead for meals later in the week. On GAPS, I have to plan at least a day or two ahead in order to have meat thawed in time or veggies cut and prepared well in advance so that I can just throw things together at meal time.

One wonderful change we have made is establishing a set bedtime, a set wake time, and a set time in the morning to read the Bible and pray. We are wanting to Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness in our lives. Establishing a bedtime has always been difficult because of leg cramps, die-off, rashes, sensory issues, trouble settling, emotional meltdowns, and on my part, just being too tired at the end of the day to pull it all together and make it happen. I have been praying about it, and God, who is very real and ever present in our lives, has been working things out so that it is all falling into place for us. Bonus: I have time to think at the end of the day and time to write in my blog. Yay!!!

I am so enjoying my time spent with God in the morning. Even if I sleep horribly or feel awful when I wake, I am motivated to get up because I do not want to miss spending time with my Lord and my Savior everyday. He is changing me. He is changing my family. I love what He is doing in our lives. Now, my older three children are also getting up early to spend time with God, reading their Bibles and talking to Him as they experience and appreciate His creation. We go outside into our backyard, or front yard, to watch the birds and check on the garden and such. We swing on the swing. We walk about. We garden. We talk to God. It is wonderful!

We do not all go out at the same time. My ten year old and I go out between 6 and 6:30 in the morning. My oldest gets up to read for fun. He keeps his ears open for the little ones, in case they wake up crying as they sometimes do. At 7:15am, my ten year old goes in to get started with chores and to help the little ones get dressed and such, while my six year old joins me outside for her quiet time. We do not talk to each other. We read, pray, think, and garden. At 7:40, I tell her that quiet time is over and we talk and garden together. This is our special time together everyday. My oldest has his quiet time from 7-7:45 in the morning. Then, he starts in on morning chores. My six year old and I go in at 8:00 to get started on morning chores.

Interestingly, we are all motivated to get up in order to have this time with God. Before, I was dragging tired and sick kids from their beds. As a result, they are motivated to go to bed on time so that they will be able to get up in the morning and participate in this special time of communion with God.

So now, my four youngest kids go to bed between 7-7:30pm and my oldest goes to bed between 8-8:30pm. Amazing! Like I said earlier, God, who is very real and ever present in our lives, has been working it all out so that everything is falling into place.

I should also mention that my girls are more willing to go to bed knowing that they will have some guaranteed time with me early the next day, so they are not stalling on bedtime hoping for a little one on one time with Mommy. KES and I garden together in the morning and KRS and I read together in the morning as soon as all of the morning chores are done.

God is healing our minds and our spirits. He is providing sleep, which is so helpful to healing. He is bringing peace. He is bringing quiet, too. We are learning to control our tongues. We are learning to work quietly and cheerfully in the mornings until everything is done. We are learning to work together as a team. We are learning to serve one another.

Quotes you will hear often in my house are as follows:

"Teamwork! It's a beautiful thing!"
"Everyone working until everything is done!"
"In the morning, say only a cheerful 'Good morning!' and do your work quietly, cheerfully, and quickly, yielding to those who are older than you."

The reason I have time to blog is because the children are going to bed so early and all together at the same time, so I sit in the bedroom with the middle three and blog until they fall asleep. Sometimes, like tonight, I stay a little longer. They were all asleep by 8 or so, but I wanted to finish my thoughts. I have time to do this. It used to be that we would still be trying to get kids settled at this time. Ooo, I love it!

This blog is for me to document my GAPS journey and is meant to be a blessing to all who read it. May you be blessed by what God is doing in my life and may He bless your lives richly, too, as you Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for the trials that have drawn us ever closer to You. You are answering my prayer to make my children Mighty Warriors in Your Kingdom! They are learning to serve, give, love, and trust. You have done, and continue to do, what I could never have done on my own. You, and You alone, are working in us to will and to act according to Your good purposes. You have a plan for us, to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. You are good and You are good all the time, working all things together for the good of those who love You. Those who obey your commands are the ones who love You. Jesus gave us a new command to love one another. We can rejoice in the trials we face, knowing that these have come so that our faith, which is of greater worth than gold, will be proved genuine and bring praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Heavenly Father, thank You for refining us and for making us more and more like You by skimming off the yucky stuff little by little as it comes to the surface. You are making us more and more beautiful. Continue to strengthen our faith that we might bring You praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Amen.

Sunday School

2011-06-04T19:53:00.001-05:00

It is only recently (a few months ago) that we have been able to make it to church on time consistently. We figured out how to work it out so that I could help lead the music. My dear husband takes charge of all five kids on Sunday mornings. We send the oldest into the nursery with the youngest to look after him and keep him from eating any illegals. We bring the other three into church with us. They leave for children's church just before the sermon. We send the ten year old with the 4yo and 7yo to help out and make sure they don't get any snacks or get into markers or paints.

So much healing has taken place in the past 21 months that little CKS, who used to be so rigid and unhappy that small things would set off huge tantrums, and little KES, who used to throw such angry hateful fits, are often complimented as being the best listeners and the most well behaved children in the class. It brings my heart such joy to hear these things, knowing from where we have come.

Starting tomorrow, Sunday, June 5, my husband is going to teach the 2's and 3's Sunday school class for 3 months. Our littlest one will be in his class. Our 4 year old is actually going to go to his own Sunday school class. He will have the same teacher from week to week and there are no snacks in his class. Our older children have been going to Sunday school for several months now. We are finally to a point now where we are stepping out and trusting that our children will be safe under someone else's care for a time. It feels wonderful to be in this place. Thank you, Jesus, for taking away the fear.

Our little CKS is so VERY excited about going to Sunday school every week. It is his very first class ever. He went last week for the first time and loved it. He has been talking about it all week. I am very pleased that he is ready for this step. Praise God!

Just a note to add about snacks at church: We take some boiled chicken or pizza eggs for our kids to snack on between SS and Worship while everyone else is munching on donuts and fake lemonade. My kids love it! (Pizza eggs are just eggs cooked in a small round skillet and cut into fourths or sixths to look like pizza slices.)

We are definitely different. We have more kids than most. We eat funny. We homeschool. We do things together as a family, rather than running everyone around in all different directions. We are definitely different, but we don't mind anymore.

We are right where God wants us to be. He is in control of all things and He "works all things together for the good of those who love Him and for whom He has called according to His good purposes". I must remember always that, "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do." and "It is God who works in us to will and to act according to His good purposes." (can't remember references at the moment) God's people do look different. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. When we do things God's way, we will definitely look different. I am now quite accustomed to being different, so I am no longer afraid to follow God and do things His way. Isn't God awesome?

More Homemade Therapy

2011-06-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

SSS and KES are sick with congestion, runny nose, croupy cough, ear ache, etc. MKS fell and hurt himself yesterday. He skipped youth group. Both girls have had headaches for the last few days. They even skipped art class last night, which they never want to miss.

Did we pick up a bug that's going around or is this a healing crisis?

Anyway, CKS is making excellent eye-contact and his thinking is complex and wonderful. His cheeks are clear and smooth. He's eating with a fork and spoon again. He is still somewhat reactive emotionally and still not settling well at night. So which is better? Lack of eye-contact and delayed echolalea, but handles upset well and goes to sleep when I put him to bed? OR...Great eye-contact, above level cognitive thinking, but sensory seeking all day, emotionally reactive, and stays awake for over an hour after bedtime just talking, wiggling, thinking, etc. ? I think I will take the latter, even though it can be very trying. I can't help but see this as a good sign. Some of these behaviors are difficult to deal with, but You know that healing is taking place when the mind is growing and developing on or above level. I love it!

So we continue to swing on the rope swing and roll each other up in blankets. Today we did pony rides (I was the pony). We also just tackled each other and rolled around on the floor together. I'm sure the smiles and the laughter are helping to speed our recovery. We DO smile and laugh a lot more these days.

At bedtime, I hugged and rubbed CKS all over before kissing him good night. He is still awake nearly two hours after putting him to bed. He can't stop wiggling. His leg hurts him. I put a hot towel over him. I pray he will fall asleep soon.

Homemade Therapy

2011-06-03T00:27:00.000-05:00

So we have been having a mess of reactions. They are all over the place, coming and going, and I can't figure out what's causing what. That's because of me. When I react, I go crazy and throw in a bunch of stuff to muddy the waters. Is it the homeopathic drops? Bone broth? Cauliflower? Broccoli? Is it a healing crisis? Is it a reaction? Oh, I wish I knew, but here we are and here's what's what.

SSS (2) has been fussy and has been wanting Mommy all day everyday as of late. CKS (4) has been sensory seeking, anxious (quick to panic and throw a fit), and his eye-contact has slipped a bit. KES (7) has been losing control of her temper and has been screaming at her siblings and has even lost it with her Daddy and I a few times. KRS (10) has been edgy and anxious. MKS (12) has been emotionally reactive, too, and has found it difficult to think and remember his responsibilities. These are a few of the typical reactions for my children.

We can not afford time or money to do outside therapies for any of our kids, so I trust in God to lead me to do what is good for each child and I have been praying a lot this week. I remembered that early on in intro, whenever I experienced die-off, my nurseling would become agitated and would not settle down to sleep. I eventually discovered that scratching him all over and vigorously rubbing his arms, legs, and back right before laying him down would settle him. My older daughter sometimes has the need to push her body against something to settle her mind. I sometimes need to wiggle, scratch, jump, stretch, etc. to feel settled.

I had researched some about sensory integration and learned about dry brushing, compressions, and sensory diet, which is a diet if sensory stimulating activities spaced throughout the day. Can't afford the therapy. No time to become an expert through research. I look at God's world and see that if we were not living in an air-conditioned house full of books and videos, we would be outside feeling the breeze, hearing the birds and the rustling leaves, feeling the crunch of the dry and thirsty grass under my feet, and smelling the fresh earthy outdoor air. Also, we would be pushing, pulling, climbing, and just moving in all ways as we work the earth.

So, I figure that we, my little ones especially, would benefit from lots of sensory input. We started compressions and dry-brushing a few days ago. We started rolling the kids up in blankets like a burrito. We have a little exercise trampoline in the living room. We have a swing set, slides, and two rope swings in the back yard. We also have me, Mommy. Today, I made a point to carry my little one a lot. I made a point to touch, tickle, hug, squeeze, and dangle my littlest ones often throughout the day. We rolled over the big ball and squished each other and bounced with each other. We smiled and laughed a lot. We read books. We played on the swings. We stomped around like bears. We pushed laundry baskets. We cut veggies (squash) with knives (toddler knives). We peeled veggies. We pulled weeds. We jumped rope (the older kids).

It's only been a day, so I do not know if it is related, but they did settle better at bedtime. Also, at dinner, I noticed CKS staring right in my eyes as he talked to me AND he had clean hands and a clean face after dinner. Related? We also did compressions. I'm going to keep it up and see how it helps all of us. I'll report back later.

Reactions

2011-05-26T23:55:00.000-05:00

Right now, we are having some "stuff" going on with everyone. We are all taking some drops made from grain alcohol to take care of parasites. That is a likely culprit. We might all have a slight stomach bug. It is all such a guessing game. It is my intention to treat the parasites for another five weeks. It might be rough going if the reactions are from the drops. We shall see.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

I increased my Bio-Kult by a half capsule yesterday with no emotional breakdowns. Possible reasons: 1) God is changing me by renewing my mind so that I purpose to think and state everything in the positive. 2) We are one week into treating the parasites. 3) I am not eating any nuts, fruit, or dairy. 4) I have been having BMs on my own everyday for the past few days. Any or all. Hmm.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

CKS (now 4) is playing lots of imagination games, he is drawing amazing 4yo pictures with lots of great details, like eye-balls, noses, mouths, hair, etc. He thinks things through and figures things out. He is trying to read, write, spell, etc. He is showing great reasoning ability. All of these things are accompanied by a slip in eye-contact, an increase in tantrums (flipping out over small stuff), loss of focus, and a slip in physical coordination (he drops food and utensils on the floor and he wiggled too much on the couch and fell on his head). Drops!?! We're running with it. We are going to push through for six weeks and see what comes of it. His cheeks are clear and soft, no rash.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

MKS (12) can suddenly draw, and draw well. This child who would not put pencil to paper for anything...this child who drew only five identical pictures before his sixth birthday...this child who cried when he was asked write a four word sentence...this child who usually, even now, has difficulty with size of letters and spacing of words...is drawing with near perfect proportion and he is enjoying it! We are all in disbelief. He is actually thinking about asking to go to art class with his sisters next week. This is accompanied by a bit of emotional sensitivity. Drops!?! He is also now reading his Bible every morning and he is using the Say and Do method on his own to learn/memorize Bible verses and definitions. He has always resisted doing this. Now it is his idea. Hmm.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

SSS (2) is fussy. He wants to be with me constantly. He wants to be held, nursed, carried. He's sleeping longer in the morning and is waking up a bit fussy.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

KES (5) is doing a remarkable job with her schoolwork and chores, but is very distractible, talks incessantly, tantrums, itches from eczema and yeast, and is generally driving everyone insane. She is so petite and cute. It's hard to stay mad. Wow! Drops!?! Yet...she is really trying hard to do what is right. She wanted a large print "real" Bible for Easter and we gave her one. She reads it every day. Starting tomorrow, she is going to join me outside in the morning for quiet time. It amazes me to see this petite little seven year old reading Genesis all on her own.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

KRS (10) is having some old symptoms return. She needs tactile input to feel OK mentally. She needs to push on something or be held tight. She started wetting the bed again, after weeks of being dry. Drops!?! I think so. She has found her purpose in life for the present moment. She knows that she is God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for her to do and she has decided that her work for the time being is to be a support to me through all of this. She helps with cooking, cleaning, and caring for her little brothers.

I have amazing children!

Now it will be interesting to see how the next 5-6 weeks go at church. Everyone compliments my children on being well behaved and good listeners, but with the reactions we are seeing this week, it might be a different story. We shall see. Even with these reactions, they are great kids. It is only a shadow of what we used to see. It is obvious that so much healing has happened in the last 21 months. All glory to God! He's so good to me!

Posting a Video - help!

2011-05-26T22:45:00.000-05:00

So I want to post some videos of my little boy before and after the vaccine injury, as well as some videos of feeding him GAPS food early on. I could also post some videos of him now, after 21 months on GAPS.

I have not got a clue how to do this. I DO have a YouTube account, but my username is my name. I have tried to keep my name and my children's names out of the story. It is becoming increasingly difficult to do this.

Some people post pictures, give names, tell all. I would love some insight into all of this. I would love some feedback about being private verses being open. I chose not to share the names of my children so that I could be completely honest about who we are and what we are going through, without putting my children in danger of being identified by their friends. I do not wish to risk posting anything that could harm their reputations down the road.

If I post videos of my son, I know it could benefit many people, but his name and the names and faces of my other children are in the videos. If I reference my blog on YouTube or if I reference the videos from my blog, then all anonymity goes out the window. What might be the longterm ramifications? I wonder. I will need to ponder this and pray about it.

What I can say is that my children are different now and that is one of the reasons for keeping a blog to document this healing journey. No one should judge my kids for who they were when we started this journey, but for who they are. However, we are not always known to do as we should. Hmm. The things that make you go, "hmm".

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus and Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness

2011-05-21T23:09:00.000-05:00

I have not written much as of late as I have been turning my attention elsewhere. Instead of giving all of my thoughts and attention to diet and healing, I have been busy seeking God's Kingdom and His Righteousness. He has been at work in my life and in the life of my family and He is truly transforming our lives by the renewing of our minds. It is wonderful and very cool!

So much is going on these days. I am reading through the Bible in a year (though it will likely take me two), I am working my way through Beth Moore's updated Bible Study called Breaking Free, and I am finding time in the morning to spend with God in prayer.

I am doing all of these things at my own pace and I am letting go of the guilt feelings for missing a day or two (or three) on any of these points. God wants a relationship with me. He wants me to love Him with all of my heart, soul, strength, and mind. He wants me to talk to Him about everything at all times and He wants me to ask Him for help. He is able and willing to do all that He has promised. He is faithful forever.

When I seek Him, yes, when I turn my eyes upon Jesus, when I look full in His wonderful face, the things of earth do indeed grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. I now understand the meaning of the words in this song.

I experienced it in natural labor with my children. When I focused on my body, the feelings were intense and increased in discomfort. When I focused on Jesus and what God was doing in and through me to bring new life into the world, then the pain disappeared and I was filled with joy and excitement like no other. The things of earth grew strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. I was not focused on my body. I was not focused on fear of pain or possible complications. My body was relaxed as I trusted in God to bring my baby forth from the womb. My body was free to work in the way it was designed by my Creator to work without being hindered by fear or negative thoughts. Truly, when I calmly told the nurse that I was pretty sure I was in transition and asked her to call the midwife back (I labored quietly with only my husband in the room), she did not believe me, but when my son was born only minutes later she knew I was right. The nurse and the midwife both commented that they had never seen anything like it. Give all the glory to God! He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how our bodies work. We are made to commune with God. We are made to have an intimate relationship with Him. We, the church, are the bride of Christ! It doesn't get more intimate than that.

I have lately noticed that when my thoughts are negative I experience more pain, discomfort, frustration, anger, and way more stress! I have lately noticed that when my focus is on God and what He is doing in my body and in my heart and in the lives of my children, and when I purpose to think about that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy and to give thanks in all things, then I can take on the world. I can without a doubt do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

I confess that these last few days have been rough. We treated CKS and KES for their allergies using something called Barnett's Sensitivity Elimination Technique and it worked great for about three weeks. Some undesirable behaviors are coming back. Rashes and eczema are back. I was upset about this and other issues. It has weighed heavily on my mind and I turned my focus back on autism, vaccines, and diet. My sleep has been rough. My mood has gotten progressively worse. Today I was very depressed, easily irritated, angry, and on and on. I actually yelled at the 2 year old. I NEVER yell at the two year old. I rarely raise my voice anymore. God is so very good. When I finally had a moment to myself (in the bathroom at WFM), I prayed and confessed my sins and thanked God because, truly, I know exactly what to do to bring sanity back to my household. I may not want to remove any of the foods we just added, but I have that choice. So many others have no answers for helping their children. I met one family this week with a 16 year old autistic boy for whom no diet, therapy, or intervention has made any significant difference in all these years. Anyway, I returned home from grocery shopping and met some sour faces when I walked in the door. I greeted everyone with grace, proceeded through dinner and all of our night time routines, and got all five children happily tucked into bed. I can't remember anymore why I felt so mean and ugly at the start of the day, but I DO know why.

When my focus was on all of the things that were not going the way I wanted, then my pain (physical, mental, spiritual) increased and kept increasing. I kept noticing more and more things that were not as I wanted them to be. When I returned my focus back to God and the good things He has done for us, then I became strong enough and healthy enough in mind, body, and soul to take on the issues that had seemed insurmountable earlier in the day.

So, I find that I am compelled to spend more time with God. There is so much more to all of this, but I will have to say it in another post or two or three (or more).

Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness! Read His Word! Study His Word! Spend time talking to God about anything and everything! "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory an grace!"

Day 14 - later

2011-04-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

I woke up sore and swollen. My tummy was flat. I took my Bio-Kult and drank water. I had a little carrot juice and bloated a little bit. I ate soups with sauerkraut juice and egg yolks all day with one cheat of a tiny bit of raw honey (supposed to be ok in tea, but I just had a little on the tip of a spoon). I resisted licking my fingers or any utensils while making and serving nut butter to my kids for a snack.

I felt tired, as in wiped out, after every meal. I'm very bloated. I haven't had a BM for two days and will have to take care of that tonight.

Why the bloating? Die-off or food intolerance? Oh, how I wish I knew. I e-mailed a bunch of questions to my doctor (chiropractor and naturopath) and am waiting to hear what he has to say about everything. Ah, well, I feel better on intro, even with die-off, than I did a few weeks ago.

Why am I doing intro again? I was nursing a new baby when we started, I had no idea what I was doing, and I couldn't cook for anything. I want to give it one good shot at doing this by the book and see what happens. I do think (actually I am most certain) that it is parasites that are holding us all back. I did ask my doctor about this. He has already told me that he can help us figure out what would be the best cleanse to do for our family. I think we will all need to do this very soon. It IS part of the protocol, but we have never done it because I just couldn't figure out which one to do. So...pressing on and moving forward.

Intro Again - Day 14

2011-04-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

I hurt.

I am very happy with soup and sauerkraut and egg yolks. My tummy is flat. I'm sleeping well. I feel great mentally. I added some carrot juice yesterday and plan to increase that so I can stay with soups and egg yolks for a while (I found that I should be fine hanging out on stage two if I include juicing, too - from FAQ page of the gapsme website).

So why do I hurt? Carrot juice? Maybe. Or could be the fingerful of nutbutter I cheated with yesterday while serving my kids a snack. Maybe. Can't say for sure, but my whole body hurts, my hands and feet are swollen, I can't make a fist, and I felt like I was awake all night. Such a big reaction to such a small amount of whatever.

What is it about intro that makes food so powerful? Why is it that I could eat these things before intro and not now? I ate them, but I was constantly bloated. I did not test well for any of these foods, but I was treated for them. Why do I have such a strong reaction now?

I need to go and talk to God about this. Only He really knows what is going on here.

Update on Food Sensitivity Elimination Technique

2011-04-13T23:13:00.027-05:00

I was treated for all of my food sensitivities and I enjoyed eating many new foods for a time without seeing any reactions, but it did not seem to last or work well when it came to apples and dairy. My last two menstrual cycles were painful and preceded by several days of insanity. I really felt angry and out of control. My current cycle is symptom free, as I have not had dairy in weeks and I started intro just before. What a dramatic difference!

I do think that the treatment has had an impact on my being able to add eggs, bone broths, and marrow without any problems. I am not nauseous after eating the soups made with bone broth. I am not irritable. I do not have any headaches.

We also treated our four year old, CKS. He is doing great! He is growing, learning, and developing normally for his age. His rashes have all faded away. His cheeks are so soft and kissable, not red and scratchy like sandpaper. He is happy and creative and playful. He looks at me and talks to me. He interacts with people all day long in a cheerful and easygoing way. He is even easygoing with his baby brother who just turned two. Amazing!

He is still eating little bits of fruit and honey and he is not turning into a sensory-seeking wild child as he has in the past. He is still eating some cucumber and tomato with a little salt and pepper. He had a little kiwi and a little pear today. No problems.

He is not having as many bathroom emergencies as he had before the treatment. There is definitely less urgency.

Apples seemed to induce rigidity and anxiety leading to meltdowns when things didn't work out like he imagined they should. For example, he wanted seconds on something but did not tell me and he began to cry when I sat down without putting any more food on his plate. He does get over it faster, though. Interestingly, I still have an issue with apples, too, even after the treatment. I wonder what is up with that.

All in all, I'm very pleased with the results of the allergy treatment.

My thoughts are to treat the other kids and redo the intro for each of them. I think it will make a huge difference in progressing through intro and getting the healing food into their precious little bodies. We had a rough time getting through the intro stages when we started, as we reacted to everything. I remember eggs being quite a traumatic experience. Anyway, these are my current thoughts. Lord, help me to see clearly what should be done.

Day 6 of Intro

2011-04-13T22:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterday and today I took about a quarter cap of Bio-Kult. I put a raw egg yolk and a little sauerkraut juice in every bowl of soup. I feel great today! I took another quarter cap of Bio-Kult this evening. I do hope I am not pushing it, but I do not want to take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to get to a therapeutic dose this time around. We will see how it goes.

I AM sleeping better and I am NOT waking with aching and tingling limbs anymore. My tummy feels awesome. I am NOT as gaseous as I have been, nor hugely bloated. My temper is calm and easy-going. Nice!

Not much else to say...

What have I been eating?

Lemon water.

Chicken broth.

Chicken in broth.

Chicken soup made with chicken, broth, pâté, peeled carrots, peeled squash and zucchini, green beans, onion, mushrooms, and Celtic sea salt.

Beef soup made with boiled beef, beef bone broth, marrow, onions, peeled carrots, peeled zucchini, green beans, peas, mushrooms, peppercorns, and Celtic sea salt.

Hamburger soup made with ground buffalo meat, beef bone broth, carrots, and Celtic sea salt.

Raw yolks in soups.

Sauerkraut juice in soups.

Happy Second Birthday!

2011-04-13T00:39:00.000-05:00

Our youngest just turned two a week ago. It was a great party! We had streamers, farm animal balloons, shooting discs, party hats, and GAPS bread cupcakes with candles. The grandparents all came over to celebrate with us.

SSS enjoyed opening his presents and he took a little time to play with each one before opening another. He squealed with delight over the Bunny Hop game and the R/C car.

Just in the last week or two he has really been putting lots of words together and they are getting clearer and much more understandable. Yay!!!

Wow!!! My baby is two!!!

Intro Again - Day 5 Update

2011-04-13T00:33:00.000-05:00

Found some chicken and some broth in the kitchen and had that for a snack. It was very satisfying.

Took a bath with ACV.

Began to feel sick during the bath: tired, achy, nauseous.

Did a bunch of chores and heated up a little soup.

Ate soup and felt a wee bit better.

Did more chores.

Posted update (this one)

Really tired. Not enough sleep last night. I had better go to bed soon.

Intro Again - Day 5

2011-04-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

So far, so good, although I do not recommend taking a full capsule of Bio-Kult on day two.

I felt great on day one. I figured that I had been taking seven capsules of Bio-Kult for months and had only gone one day with none so one seventh of that dose should be a breeze. Was I ever wrong! I was so sick by the end of day two and through the night. Headache. Swollen glands. Stuffy nose. Sore achy muscles. Sick tummy. Weak, very weak. So I took a day off and have taken about a quarter cap a day for several days now with no problem.

I'm sleeping much better already. Yay!!! It's worth it.

I am putting a bit of sauerkraut juice and an egg yolk in every bowl of soup. I'm eating about 3-5 bowls of soup in a day.

I have been surprised at how easy it has been for me to prepare and serve other food for my kids without being tempted by it. Right now I am feeling like I need something. I want to eat something, but not soup. I think I will go have a bowl of soup right now with lots of added fat. Maybe I will feel satisfied after that.

I think that I want to eat because it is so quiet in the house. The little three are all asleep and the older two are at a ballgame with Daddy. It is NEVER this quiet in my house. It feels very strange.

What I am really excited about is that I can actually do intro as it is laid out (minus the fermented fish). My soups are delicious. I am no longer grossed out by chicken skins and raw egg yolks. I can feed my kids GAPS food and know that it tastes good without tasting it. We always have sauerkraut juice and sauerkraut available because we make it weekly. There is no learning curve and to top it all off, I already have 19 months of healing behind me. I am doing this alone so I can take my time and go at my own pace. No pressure.

Funny thing is...several of my children are begging me to restart intro after Easter. Go figure. I'll have to think about that. Everyone wants to eat my soups. No. No. No. Mine! All mine!!

I love my kids. I love my family. Oh! Thank You, Lord, for what You are doing in our family right now. You are transforming us by the renewing of our minds. You are helping us to break free from patterns and habits that have been repeated for years. Things are changing. Relationships are growing and developing. Children are maturing and understanding. I am finally understanding things I never understood before. I will continue to seek You and Your Kingdom. Keep up the good work You started in us. I know that You are faithful to complete it! Amen!

Intro Again

2011-04-09T01:27:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note to say I'm doing intro again. I've been considering it for a while. This morning I woke up after another miserable night and just decided to go for it.

So easy! Only me. I ate only chicken soup all day. It was so yummy and so satisfying. I added a little sauerkraut juice to my last bowl of soup this evening. I plan to eat soup all day tomorrow. I might add an egg yolk to a bowl of soup, if all goes well. Sounds delicious.

Boy have I changed. All of this was so disgusting to me only 18 months ago and now I love it! Chicken pate (blended skins and soft tissues) really do make they soup so delicious and satisfying.

I made some other soup, but I think I may stick with chicken soup for at least another day or two.

The surprising thing was that I was able to serve a large variety of other foods to my children without being tempted by any of it. Hmm. I wonder what tomorrow will be like?

How much probiotic should I start with? How fast will I be able to increase it? So many questions.

Gotta go to bed.

Happy Fourth Birthday!!!

2011-04-03T17:18:00.000-05:00

We celebrated CKS' birthday last Tuesday. It was one of the most delightful birthdays ever.

He woke up to find a birthday card by his bed. It was a fire truck birthday card. He enjoyed hearing all of the special messages written on the balloons. We had to add a few more messages, dictated by the birthday boy, of course.

He was so excited that his birthday had finally arrived. He went out into the living room to find it decorated with streamers and balloons. Also, there were party hats hanging from the ceiling on white streamers in the kitchen.

We had to cut one balloon free from the bunch so that he could carry it around with him all day. We clipped it to the back of his chair at mealtimes.

His special friend and his friend's baby brother came to spend the morning with us. They found the party blow outs. You know the ones: they look like frog tongues stretching out to catch a fly. They were black and white checked with a Cars picture attached. What fun we all had tagging each other with these simple toys. Even SSS (almost 2) eventually figured out how to make them work. We played with them until they all broke.

We had some regular balloons to bat around, too.

In the evening, the grandparents came over. We sang Happy Birthday, blew out candles, and ate cupcakes (made from nut butter, eggs, and butternut squash). Then, CKS opened presents. Such great fun. So many smiles. Such bright eyes and so full of life.

Ever since we had CKS treated for his food allergies/sensitivities, his eyes just sparkle. He's doing great! He can have honey and fruit (still) without any reactions. He's loving it!!! It is so good to see him so well.

We praise God for every step forward. I am thankful for God's leading. I hope and pray for continued healing, for complete healing. Thank You, Lord, for bringing so much healing to my little boy. Amen.

Update on the Update

2011-03-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

Let's see if I can get this all down before my battery dies.

So I have been taking detox baths and I have been sleeping better. Yay!

We had CKS (almost 4) treated and he is doing amazing. He has had a bit of honey everyday. He has eaten spinach, cucumber, tomato, black pepper, fresh apple juice, and cauliflower. Also, finally, the Pro-EFA fish oil. No reactions. Cheeks are clearing up. Urination less frequent and less urgent. Eye-contact is unbelievable! His eyes sparkle with life. Praise God!!! Thank you, Jesus!

Our two older kids have had a rough week after getting sealants from the dentist. I will have to think twice about that the next time. Weak. Tired. Achey. Sick to stomach. Headaches. Emotional and behavioral issues. They are not themselves this week. It has been five days. It is a bit better, but not yet back to our new normal. Ack!

KES (almost 5) is up late with leg cramps. Not sure where that came from.

KRS (10) has had a rough day. Emotional upset. Generally negative and unhappy. Headache. And more. We quit giving her fruit and honey as of yesterday because of eczema and signs of yeast. She may be having a bit of die-off. Eczema is better and is healing so I think we may be on to something.

SSS (almost 2) is throwing a lot of tantrums (itty bitty tantrums) these days. He's two (almost), but I think he may be responding to everything and everyone around him. I have noticed that his worst days are always on my worst days.

So, I am thinking that it might be beneficial to have everyone's food sensitivities treated and then repeat intro one more time. We could actually progress through the intro diet and get to full GAPS and therapeutic doses of probiotics, as well as FCLO, Pro-EFA, seed and nut oils, kefir and other ferments. Then we would really be on our way to complete healing.

God is also working in our lives to break us free of strongholds that have kept us in bondage for too long. Praise God, for He is working in us and He is going to bring healing to our family: mind, body, and soul! He is able! He is willing! I have only to trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey!

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

Read God's Word. Pray and talk to Him about it. Ask Him to give you wisdom. Ask Him to show you what it all means. I do not remember the reference at this moment, but His Word says that he will show you unsearchable things that you have never before known. He does! His Word IS living. It is amazing what He can do! Seek Him and you WILL find Him! I am finding Him to be more beautiful than I ever imagined He could be!

Jesus, thank You for revealing yourself to me in such a personal way. Thank You for the peace that comes from the readiness of the gospel. Thank you for teaching me to put on the full armor of God and to take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Thank You for teaching me to pray at all times about all kinds of things. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

You, Lord, are faithful through all generations. You will complete the good work you started in me. It is you, God, who works in me to will and to act according to Your good purpose (Philippians 2:13). Thank You for keeping me in Your arms and for carrying my children close to Your heart and for leading me gently (Isaiah 40:11). Amen.

Update

2011-03-23T02:04:00.000-05:00

I have been taking a break from all of the overwhelming information that is out there on the Internet. I dropped all yahoo groups for a while and quit writing in my blog. I just needed a mental break and it has been good. The Lord is really doing a good work in my life right now. Things are changing and I am very happy and excited about all of this. Change is good.

So, we are still following the GAPS diet. Everyone is up to a therapeutic dose of Bio-Kult for several months now. I am still 1-3 capsules short of therapeutic, but close enough for now. I may increase it again soon. It is rough going when I go through die-off and I needed a break!

I went to a doctor who treats allergies and I have been able to eat a wide variety of food that I could not tolerate before. I can eat broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower, tomatoes, cucumber, berries, nuts, spinach, butter, ghee, apples, and so much more. It has been great. At first, there seemed to be no reaction at all. Now I am not sleeping well and I had some major emotional upset during my cycle. Frustrating. I think it may be detox, but I am not sure. I did stop taking detox baths because I was doing so well. I started taking baths again a few days ago and I think it is making a difference. I will need to give it a few more days to really know for sure.

We are going to go ahead and have our little CKS treated tomorrow. He is the one with the most issues. He is going to be four years old next week. WooHoo! He is doing great developmentally and socially. He eats well. He talks well. He is learning. His imagination and creativity are exploding into some very cool scenarios. He has this weird thing about sharing (invisible) chocolate with me. He has not had chocolate for nearly two years now. What's up with that?!! We fish with imaginary fishing rods and catch all kinds of interesting things. He's a fun kid. He's still very reactive to the world we live in. He has rough red skin on his cheeks, hands, and bottom. It gets better and worse and sometimes almost goes away, but then it comes back. No clue what it is from. Sundays are still difficult days. I suspect he is reacting to people's perfumes or something like that. Anyway, he's doing well overall. I am anxious to see how treating him for food allergies will effect him. I wonder if the rash will go away. I wonder if it will decrease the urgency and frequency of his urination. I wonder if he will really be able to eat a bit of honey without becoming a sensory seeking wild child. We shall see!

The baby is going to be two in two weeks. He is doing great! He has never had a vaccine. He has been on GAPS for his entire life. He can eat everything I can eat. He is still nursing and is doing well with everything I eat. He poos regularly. He is a happy kid. He eats well. He is coordinated and is developing normally. I think he may be a bit behind in language development, but I am just watching and waiting. He has a lot of words. They are hard to understand. He is not stringing any words together yet, but he does get his point across quite well. Every word he says sounds like a question, going up at the end. A little odd and very cute. He is a sweety.

KES is going to be seven in May. She still can not eat any fruit or honey. She still gets leg cramps if she runs around in the sun for any length of time. She still gets eczema on her forehead and breaks out in rashes and hives from time to time. She still reacts to the world around her, however she is growing and learning and developing into a lovely young lady. She is more and more capable and is doing more around the house to help the family with all that we do. It is nice to see. She is still very tiny. She and her (almost) four year old brother both weigh 40 pounds. She is a bit taller than him. He's stalky. People often ask if they are twins, but they are three years apart.

Our oldest, MKS, is growing into a fine young man. We have kept him GF/CF and Feingold stage one and on GAPS. He is a totally normal twelve year old, except for the fact that he is likely more responsible, reliable, kind, considerate, and caring than most twelve year old boys. I am excited to see how he is growing and developing. He is finally ready for some real challenges. He can now do things with ease that were a struggle even a few months ago. His memory is good. He can figure things out on his own. He can coordinate and accomplish complicated sets of tasks. Yay!!!

KRS is doing well, too. She is a horse-crazy, art lovin', wanna-be farmer. She is reading chapter books now. She reads and studies and creates informational books about horses. Two years ago, she could hardly read or write. I have been giving her a bit more fruit and honey lately and her eczema is coming back a bit. There are signs of yeast. She has had some headaches again as of late. She has been feeling angry with her sister and with people in general a little bit here and there.

I am thinking of taking us all back to a modified intro again after we finish celebrating all of these birthdays we have coming up. I know it would be good for all. It has always brought a greater degree of healing through it.

Praise God who has given us all that we need. His grace is sufficient for me. I am thankful for all of the healing that has taken place in our family and I look forward to more and more and more. I am letting go of my timeline and I am going to watch and wait and just marvel and praise God for every step toward wholeness. He is our Great Physician. He is our Healer. He is good all the time. He knows the plans He has for us and they are good plans. They are plans to prosper us. They are plans to give us hope and a future.

Thank You, Lord Jesus! Amen!!!

Still Recovering

2011-02-07T01:07:00.000-06:00

CKS is still recovering from his regression a few days back. His cheeks are bright red and rough. They look painful. He has a few spots that look like pimples. This is new. His hands are rough and red and he says they sting. Sometimes he will just cry that his hands hurt. He wants to hang out with me and be with me because he does not feel well. He has a hard time catching his breath at times. His cognitive and social skills are a little better than yesterday. Whew! Oh, the constant urgent trips to the potty are back in full swing and he took hours to fall asleep last night and tonight, as well.

I plan to keep our diet simple and hope that it all settles out again in a day or two. I just hate to see him sick like this. It is sad. BUT...I have to remind myself that he is in a much better place than he was in 21-24 months ago. Yes! He is indeed doing very well.

On a positive note: He and our little ballerina (age 6) put on a dance show for me tonight. It was precious. CKS danced to a song called Rock Monster. You can only imagine. He was throwing himself all over the place and having a great time!

Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! CKS sat on my lap during most of the church service today looking very limp and moaning a very little bit, but he DID go to Children's Church with his older sisters towards the end of the service and they tell me that he participated and was very interactive. When we questioned him about the lesson, he asked his sisters what the lesson was, but when they wouldn't tell him, he said, "Well, maybe Jesus died. And maybe they put him in a cave. Maybe he rose again. Maybe."

Tonight he asked, "Did God die?"
He knows that Jesus is God. He's trying to understand.
How cool is that?

Pest Control

2011-02-05T23:32:00.000-06:00

We had two days of "normal". Ahh! It was so nice. And then...

Yesterday, all was peaceful in the morning. In fact, when I went to get the kids up my oldest daughter was excited to show me how wonderful her little brother CKS was doing. He woke up cheerful. He did not have to rush to the bathroom. He was talking and talking and talking and he was telling her about his dreams. He told her four dreams and they were creative and imaginative stories.

One "dream" was that he bought a chicken and four baby chickens. Chickens are farm pets so they would need a barn. He went to the barn store and bought a barn. It was heavy. He had someone help him carry it home in the box. The chickens were hungry so he went to the chicken food store and bought some food for the chickens. And on it went...

The morning went very well and we got everything done in record time. We had a little time before lunch so we went outside to check out the ice and icicles all over the cars and trashcans and rooflines. We live in Houston and are not used to the cold weather, so we did not stay too long.

We went back in the house to get lunch on the table and CKS was clingy and irritable. He was very rigid and had to have things just so. He had his hands in his mouth and was complaining about everything. We were all saying, "What happened to CKS?!?"

It was such an immediate change. We couldn't figure out what happened. We had not eaten anything yet. Maybe he was just hungry, we thought.

He continued to have problems all the rest of the day even after he ate. His daddy came home from his retreat and CKS was still not doing well. He clung to me and didn't want to be away from me. He told me at bedtime that he didn't feel well and that he was having trouble catching his breath. He took hours to fall asleep.

We were puzzled over what had caused this regression. Just before my husband and I went to bed, my husband mentioned that he saw the receipt from the quarterly pest control and asked if that could be it. The bug guy had come the day before. Maybe CKS had gotten his hands in a place that had been sprayed and then put his hands in his mouth. Possible. I follow the bug guy around and make sure he only sprays behind bookshelves and heavy furniture and such, but he sometimes gets a few places I would prefer he didn't, so it is possible that this is what happened.

However, this morning I was thinking about when CKS began to regress and I remembered that the bug guy came the day before and that it was cold outside. Instead of spraying around the perimeter of the house and yard, he sprinkled granules around the house. Ack! We had never done that before! We won't be doing that again! CKS regressed before lunch and after we went outside to check out the icicles. The kids walked on the granules. CKS took his own shoes off and put them away when we came inside. I think it is a reasonable conclusion that it was the bug poison that caused his regression.

Some of the rest of us had troubles, too. I was so frustrated and upset until I figured this out because I had taken out the bone broths and had gotten things back to good again and I had changed nothing in the diet to cause any regressions. I thought, "What more can I do?"

Today has been better, but not great. Maybe by tomorrow things will settle out again.

Ahhh...Finally a Little Bit of Normal Again

2011-02-02T00:40:00.001-06:00

Today was a good day. We stopped the bone broths and the long cooked meats and broths (crockpot) and quit the bone patè last week. I think we finished the leftovers 4-5 days ago.

Finally, CKS' cheeks are smooth and soft again (almost).

Finally, KES has stopped scratching scabs into her forehead from eczema.

Finally, CKS' urgent trips to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes has ceased.

Finally, the beds are not uttery soaked through in the mornings. They are wet, but not soaked. We even had one completely dry pull-up.

Finally, CKS plays on his own again and sits and reads books to himself instead of clinging to my leg and following me around all day.

Finally, SSS' poos are forming up again instead of being orange (carrot juice) and wet and full of undigested food. Lovely. I know.

Finally, CKS is happy and easy-going again.

Finally, the rash on the back of CKS' hands is beginning to clear up.

Finally, we went to church on Sunday and had NO reactions.

Finally, we went to the library today and had NO reactions.

Finally, CKS is not gasping for air anymore. He was always yawning and gasping for air recently (I think since the holidays when we added all of the broths and patès). It would get really bad and a little worrisome when we visited someone's house, had guests, wore hand-me downs, went to church, or went to the library. I am so relieved not to be seeing this anymore. I will have to try the hand-me downs again and see if he can handle it.

Finally, CKS woke up and 'told' me he had to go to the bathroom, for the first time in what seems like forever, instead of waking up and crying out in a loud panic that he has to go to the bathroom. Just now!!! 12:30am. I hope he does as well in the morning. We shall see.

Finally everyone seems to be fairly happy and cooperative. Yay!!!

And all of this is just in time, as my husband will be gone for business for the next three days. Whew! We will NOT be adding anything new for the next few days. We will NOT have any bone broth or patè for awhile. This is the break I needed. Whew!

I am so relieved. We are still eating nuts and we just added eggs with yolks back in (now that Farmer Brown's chickens are laying again), so I know now with certainty that these two foods are finally OK for us. These were two foods that we could not eat before we started on GAPS. I am so happy that we can eat these.

Just a Few Thoughts

2011-01-31T01:26:00.000-06:00

I have not posted in a while. That's because I have been increasing my Bio-Kult and it feels like my world is falling apart. Well, sometimes it feels like my world is falling apart and sometimes all is well, but I spend the all is well times picking up the pieces from the my world is falling apart times.

You know...I used to have PMS and be really moody for 1-2 weeks out of every month and then I would spend the other two weeks pulling myself back together and fixing all of the problems I created during my moody times. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore.

I fell apart the other day at a memorial service for a dear friend who had passed away that morning. I guess that seems normal when I write it down like that, but I let it slip that I am not as involved in things as much as I had been and I was very emotional and explained that it was because of our current circumstances. Of course I would like to be more involved, but we just really can't be as involved as we were. That's OK. It's not forever. Things are changing all of the time, sometimes better and sometimes worse. It's always changing.

I've been thinking...Is it better to be home and happy and feeling good most of the time OR is it better to get out there in the real world and tough it out, but always feeling bad and unhappy? Although I struggle with the desire to get out there and do more and be a little more mainstream, I know from experience that we are all happier if we don't push it too much.

So I have also been thinking...Have we made ourselves more sensitive to the environment by taking so many things away so that when we come into contact with it out in public, we really react to it? I think this is probably true, and yet...before we took it all away we were sick and unhappy a lot of the time. This is the reason we stick to it. We do what we do because for the first time in our lives, we feel really good and we only feel bad when we are exposed to the things that we do not tolerate, which happen to be out there "in the real world" in abundance.

Sometimes I just want to quit!!! What would I do instead?

If I quit suddenly, or even gradually, I would get so depressed that I would be completely non-functional. I would ache all over. I would not be able to sleep at night. I would feel tired and foggy all of the time. I would be overwhelmed by all of the chaos in the house.

If I quit suddenly, my oldest would be oppositional and would go back to doing mean things to his siblings. He would forget how to see things from other people's point of view. He would constantly be hurting himself and others with his klutziness because he used to be so unaware of his surroundings. He would be constantly annoyed at everyone and everything because he would be rigid and need for things to be a certain way in order to feel OK in his world. He would be in physical pain and always rushing to the bathroom. His clothes and shoes would bother him. All of his Asperger's characteristics would return, including his anxiety. He will stop sleeping well. He will complain constantly. We have been there. I don't want to go back to that. Just adding ghee and butter brought a lot of these issues back. The only time my son has ever been totally clear minded, and happy, and caring towards others has been during the three times on GAPS when we also dairy-free. I look at him now and I marvel at the young man that he is becoming. How could I ever think of taking that away from him. At some point, he will be in control of what he eats, and yet even now he is in control and he chooses to stick to GAPS. I can't take that away from him.

Then, of course, there are the girls and the two little boys. Our little three year old regressed and he really looked as if he were going to continue to regress. I was concerned that every time he jerked and fell over or grabbed at his eyes or woke up in the night screaming he was slipping away a little more. I thought they might be seizures. I still think that they probably were. We were losing him. He was sick and miserable and he was in so much physical and mental pain. The GAPS diet brought him back to us, praise God who gave us the knowledge we needed to know when we needed to know it! I had prayed for help for my older children and I and God answered my prayer. I was so grateful that when our two children reacted to the vaccines I was already in the process of implementing the diet for the rest of us. We got our little boy back and our little girl, too.

They are all such a delight to me. I am so thankful for each and every one of them. They are amazing and wonderful little people.

In conclusion, I think it is better to be home and happy and feeling good most of the time and I think that we are more sensitive to the environment because we have removed the toxins from our daily living, but I also realize that we only experience all of the bad stuff we used to deal with daily when we are exposed to toxins a little here and there.

We DO get out. We do go to church every Sunday, even though it is sometimes extremely difficult to get there if anyone is reacting to something from the weekend and even though we know that our little guy is going to react to people's perfumes. We can't shield him from everything, but I would not want him to be miserable everyday. Then, there is the church girl's choir, art class, youth group, homeschool classes taught by other homeschool moms (like the writing class my son is about to start next week), play dates, library once a week, the preschool class at the library, field trips (like the very cool Real Pirates exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural History), LEGO club once a month, the LEGO robotics competition, the park, shopping trips, the science class that our oldest will be starting soon, weekly trips to visit the horses and horse lessons here and there whenever enough money is saved to pay for them, and the Science Fair through our homeschool co-op. We DO get out.

I DO have to remind myself that we may not be able to do as much as we have done in the past, but we are not isolated. I only feel that way when I am reacting because all I can see is the negative side of everything, which is why I do not want to go back to that place. With the exception of food reactions, which happen from time to time, I feel better and happier than I have ever felt in my whole life. Who in their right mind would want to give that up? Not me. I like being able to be the kind of person that God has called us to be. I like being kind and compassionate and gentle and patient. I have to do what I have to do, because it works.

My husband is so amazing. He is so easy-going about all of this. He often says, "It is what it is." or "If it has to get done, it has to be done." I get overwhelmed and I panic. He just sets to work and gets it done. I want to be more like that.

Enough of this. I have things to do!

Die-Off and You Would Think I Would Learn

2011-01-18T01:46:00.000-06:00

We made a big push to increase the probiotics to therapeutic doses over the holidays. The youngest ones were already there. My twelve year old got up to 6 Bio-Kult just before Christmas (we started the Bio-Kult in July, I think). I got up from six to seven in about 8 days last week and it was rough!!! I have been unable to think. I have been irritable. Everything overwhelms me!!! I have had to just go and hide in the bedroom and let my dear husband feed the kids and put them to bed because I just couldn't carry on. I really don't like being in this state. I do have to say that I am VERY thankful that God gave me my wonderful husband who is so very patient and kind towards all of us as we go through these difficult days. Thank You, Lord.

So I should know by now to introduce things slowly and watch for reactions, but whenever I am going through die-off it seems that my brain dies off, too. I keep doing things I know I should not do and then I regret it, I feel guilty, I want to hide. We drank a lot of bone broth (Turkey) over the holidays and didn't have as severe a reaction as we used to get, although we were all definitely having issues. Healing crisis?!? Food intolerance!?! Who can tell? I still have not figured this out, but I suspect it is healing. Sooooooo, I get the bright idea that we should go ahead and make bone broth from our organic chicken bones and start adding it to our chicken broth in small amounts. Let's keep the goodness going. So I make a huge pot of bone broth and I start adding a pint of bone broth to our broth daily. This is more than just a little bit, but I figure, we can handle it.

Now I am guessing I was wrong. Well, I suppose all of the reactions could be healing reactions as in a healing crisis, but I am going to lose my mind. We have strange rashes and tantrums and loud voices and irritability and other stuff. I can't even keep up because of my die-off (or am I reacting to the bone broth?).

Anyway, I need a little peace, a little break from the insanity, so I am going to remove the bone broth once again and try again next week, but in smaller quantities.

On the bright side, the broth I made will last longer and I will not need to make more anytime soon. There's always a bright side and I am learning to always look for it. It is especially helpful to look on the bright side when going through die-off and all I can see (unless I make myself think differently) is the negative side of everything. I used to be a glass-is-half-empty kind of a girl, but changing my diet and removing all of the foods that I am sensitive to has made me a glass-is-half-full kind of girl.

I really rather enjoy looking on the bright side of things. This is another thing I am thankful for. Thank You, God, for changing my heart so that I can be a happy, joyful person and not the grumpy lump I used to be. Thank You for drawing me out of misery. I love You, My Savior! You ARE my all in all!

The Best Christmas Ever (and no candy)

2011-01-02T02:11:00.003-06:00

We had a beautiful Christmas this year.

We celebrated early with my family because my sister had to get back to her husband who had to work through the holidays (restaurant business). We exchanged gifts and talked and played.

We even had dinner at my folk's house. We took all of our own GAPS food, mostly prepared in advance. The rest of my family had all purchased and processed foods.

It was quite funny to be setting out plates of home cooked food for my family while my mother bragged about how she didn't have to do any cooking this year. She laid out perfectly cut slices of Honeybaked Ham on a nice platter, dumped potato salad out of a plastic carton into a nice bowl, dumped a bag of salad into a salad bowl and set out the prepared salad dressing. The list goes on. We had ham that had been smoked in a smoker in our back yard the day before. We had long green beans cooked in coconut oil and we had avocado, sauerkraut juice, sauerkraut, and broth. We were full and content. No one even balked when the rest of the family had packaged pie and coffee with flavored creamer right in front of us and I realized that I had forgotten to bring any dessert. I think we were too full to care.

On Christmas Eve, we put the little ones to bed after dinner and watched The Nativity with our older three children and talked about the real meaning of Christmas.

In the morning, we snacked and opened stockings one at a time. It just happened this way. The older kids helped with and enjoyed their younger sibling's surprise and joy as they discovered what treasures were hiding in their socks. Then they enjoyed each other as they each explored the depths of their own stockings. I think it went from the youngest to the oldest. No candy. No snacks of any kind. No junk either. Their stockings were not as full as they have been in previous years, but everything was enjoyed and appreciated. It was wonderful.

We ate and then opened presents, one at a time. This was child led. Everyone enjoyed each other and no one was impatient. This is how I remember it. It was just our family of seven and it was beautiful. Everyone was delighted with their gifts and Mommy and Daddy were delighted with their children. Then everyone played all the rest of the day, except for cooking and necessary chores.

No candy, true...but there was no crying either (well, maybe a little. After all, two of the seven of us are under four).

Truly, I think it was our best Christmas EVER!!!

***************

I almost forgot this! We had a lovely Christmas dinner with all of the grandparents at our house complete with turkey, stuffing (made with GAPS bread from scratch), green beans with sautéed mushrooms and onions (instead of green bean casserole), and pie!!!

I broke down in the middle of the day and gave all of the kids a bit of honey and two pecans. That was their Christmas treat! Next year I will skip it if we are not in a better place (but we will be) because the next day was really rough after the nut binge and the bit of honey. Live and learn, but Christmas Day could not have been any better.

No Dairy Today and All is Well

2010-12-16T01:13:00.000-06:00

Could it be my imagination? I think not! My older kids see it, too. The rough red cheeks on my little boy (3yo ds) are a little less rough and a little less red than they were yesterday. He talks more like a normal 3 year old, too. There is less repeating and more conversational speaking. It's not perfect like it was a few months back before we added the dairy, but it is definitely better than last week or even a few days ago. I'm convinced! Yet again!

Trips to the bathroom were easier. He listened a little better and stayed focused on what he was doing, so less mess to clean up, except for this morning when he had to go so very bad and could not get there fast enough and left a trail from the vanity room door to the potty about 8 feet long with puddles here and there along the way. Man, that boy can pee! He sure did his best to get there, but he really needed help and no one could drag themselves out of bed to help him. I was out of bed in a flash, though, when I heard all of the piddling in my vanity/bathroom. Looking back, it's quite funny. Ha ha! I digress. This has nothing at all to do with dairy sensitivity. Hmm.

It's a Bug

2010-12-16T01:03:00.000-06:00

Something is going around. It looks like we got what everyone and their dog seems to be coming down with these days. I know it's a contagious bug because it is going from one person to the next to the next. They are falling like flies. I'm fine for now. I pray I will stay well so I can keep things going. I have been drinking lots of broth and eating lots of soup. I increased the FCLO and added and increased vitamin C for everyone.

My father says it lasts for 11 days. My hubby says he read something about an 11 day flu bug. We will see. I suspect we will all be well much sooner than that. I hope so. Christmas is not that far off. I hope everyone is well by then. Whatever. We will deal with it, wherever it takes us.

KES' eczema is slowly getting better. She still itches, but not as bad and her scabs are healing a bit. She is not as achey in the arms and legs and she was much more cheerful and agreeable today. Yay!

Soup/Casserole Recipes for Intro and Beyond

2010-12-16T00:52:00.001-06:00

I wrote these out for a friend and thought I would post them here as they may be helpful for others. My kids LOVE these recipes now that they are not addicted to sugar and refined carbohydrates.

We like Hamburger Soup: I never measure or write things down. I am learning to just throw things together, so here goes... Let's take 2 pounds of ground beef, 2 pounds of carrots peeled and cut into chunks, one onion chopped, 1 pound of frozen green beans, beef broth or filtered water to cover, 1-3 Tbs beef pâté (made from the marrow and soft tissues blended up), 1-2 Tbs of Celtic sea salt. You can also season with fresh whole peppercorns, garlic, or any other fresh herb you like. Only use fresh herbs in the beginning. Bring to a boil and cook until carrots are soft. If you like a thick soup, you can blend some of the soup and add back to thicken (no flour needed). Further along in full GAPS you can sauté the onions and brown the meat in your favorite fat before putting them in the pot. Yum!

Chicken Soup is a weekly soup at our house: I boil chicken almost daily to make meat broth. We eat some and use the rest to add to soups or make pancakes/panpuffs, or whatever we can think of to make. We blend the skins to make a chicken pâté to add back to soups for flavor and thickening. We save the bones in the freezer and use them to make bone broth. Now that all of that is out of the way...let's take 2 pounds of carrots, 2 pounds of yellow squash and/or zucchini, 1 pound frozen green beans, 1 onion, 8-12 oz of sliced mushrooms, 1-3Tbs chicken pâté, 1 Tbs Celtic sea salt (or more to taste), chicken broth or filtered water to cover. Bring to a boil, turn down to a simmer, and cook until the veggies are done. Add cold cooked chicken to cool and serve. You can cook chicken in the soup, too. I like to add it at the end. You can also season with peppercorns from the beginning and/or parsley added near the end. Further along in full GAPS you can sauté onions and mushrooms in ghee or coconut oil for more flavor and fat. Serve with sauerkraut and/or mashed avocado. Yum!

Ground Turkey Soup: My older daughter and I thought this one up together... Take 2 pounds of ground turkey thigh meat, 1 onion chopped, 2-3 celery sticks for flavor (too fibrous to eat early on), Celtic sea salt to taste. Cover with chicken broth or filtered water, bring to a boil, turn down to a simmer and cook until all meat is done and celery is tender. Season with fresh parsley. Further along in full GAPS you can sauté the onions in ghee or coconut oil for more flavor and fat. You can also brown the meat first. Later, skip the soup and just eat the sautéed onions and browned turkey as is and served with sauerkraut and avocado, and lettuce, too. Be sure to drink sauerkraut juice and broth with meals. It is delicious this way.

Beef Soup is pretty easy, too: I cook a large roast in the crockpot with several soup bones to make meat broth. We eat the meat with veggies on the side for one meal and use the rest of the meat to make casserole or soup. Reserve whatever meat is left over to add to the soup once the veggies are cooked, 2 pounds carrots and 1 pound zucchini peeled and cut into large chunks, 1 pound frozen green beans, 8-12 oz sliced mushrooms, 1 onion chopped, 1-3 Tbs beef pâté made from the marrow and soft tissues/fat from the bones and roast, Celtic sea salt to taste. Cover with beef broth or filtered water, bring to a boil, simmer until veggies are cooked. Add meat back to the soup and serve. You can add some garlic, pepper corns or other fresh herbs for more flavor. Further along on full GAPS you can sauté the onions and mushrooms in ghee or coconut oil for more flavor and fat. To thicken, remove some of the veggies, before adding the meat back in, blend, and return to the soup.

You can turn any of the soups into casseroles by separating the broth from the meat and veggies with a strainer or a slotted spoon. If you use a strainer, you can drink the soup broth as a beverage. It is warm, delicious, soothing and healing. Put the meat and veggies in a casserole dish. Blend some of the veggies to pour over the top, drizzle with any fat, sprinkle with course sea salt, and bake for 30 minutes. You can cook cauliflower for your blended top layer. Later, you can drizzle with ghee and/or coconut oil. Use any veggies you like. We are rather limited in our choice of veggies, but you get the idea.

She Cheated, and It Shows

2010-12-15T02:01:00.000-06:00

When KES cheated on the 5th, nine days ago, she ate lots of deserts when we weren't looking. I was perplexed that she seemed to be fine that day and for several days. I was perplexed because she reacts to a little bit of honey or a bit of fruit almost immediately. I reasoned that her little body must have gone into shock and put everything on hold to see what else would happen. A few days later, she started to itch a little and her arms and legs began to ache. Then, six days after the big cheat, she got sick with a sore throat and a cough.

Her eczema has gotten worse and worse. She has scratched her forehead raw. She has scabs there. Her hands are always up there, scratching, hitting, rubbing, pressing. She can't get any relief. She is miserable. She says it itches in the muscle. It's deep and intense. It causes her to go into fits. It would be funny if it were not so sad.

Today, she threw a fit like we have not seen since early on in GAPS. I took a video. It's crazy to see a six year old act in such a way.

Tonight, and for the past few nights, at least, she is having a hard time sleeping because of arm and leg cramps. She remembers now how she felt before we started GAPS. She realizes that this is why we are doing GAPS. She says she knows I love her very much to cook GAPS food for her. It's not worth it to cheat. I think she knows this now. I hope she will remember the next time she is tempted to cheat.

To me, the stuff people eat these days is not food. I don't even want to put any of it in my body anymore. I hope my children realize this, too, that it's not food and that it is not to be desired. It does not tempt me anymore because I do not want to eat chemicals, petroleum, preservatives, antibiotics, hormones...

Bone Broth or Bug?

2010-12-15T01:39:00.001-06:00

I have added bone broth to our broth for several weeks now and have increased the amount just a bit this week. Now everyone is getting sick - all the kids, anyway. Before we started GAPS, we started to make broths and we started to have healing reactions to this powerful healing food. When we started GAPS everyone got sick. It looked like the flu, but it wasn't. When we restarted intro, the kids got sick again. Now I have backed off of and removed dairy and increased this bone broth and all of the kids are sick. However, it could be a bug. It might be strep throat. They have croupy coughs, runny or stuffy noses, a little diarrhea at the beginning, a sore throat, and a headache. One child also hurts all over, but she is the one who cheated a week ago. I think it's probably a bug.

I am so glad to be eating bone broth, finally. Before, when we would add it, I would get very angry over every little thing, things that did not bother me on other days. I am short on sleep, kids are driving me crazy with the regressions/reactions, it's impossible to keep up with it all and do extra things, but I am handling it all in stride. Yay!

Definitely Dairy

2010-12-15T01:23:00.000-06:00

We quit the butter almost as soon as I figured out that dairy was the problem. Things got better right away. We backed off on ghee. Things improved a bit. We were completely dairy free for a few days. Things were definitely better. I can sleep. I am not so very swollen in the morning and I can get my ring off of my finger. I can breathe through my nose in the morning again. CKS has had rough and rosy cheeks. This morning his cheeks were almost smooth again for the first time in months. Yay!!!

We finished off the leftovers for lunch today. It was food I had prepared to get us through the end of last week and through the weekend. It was cooked with ghee and coconut oil. Sure enough, CKS' cheeks were rough and rosy before the end of the meal and his hands were back up in his face again. It was immediate. I had a bit of nausea after lunch. It didn't last long, but I suspect it was my body saying, "Oh, no. Not again."

Dairy is definitely out for now! I think I will wait at least six weeks and try again with only grass-fed dairy. I have a source. It just did not occur to me that my butter needed to come from grass-fed cows, too.

Bone Broth/Cauliflower/Brussel Sprouts

2010-12-09T01:51:00.000-06:00

I have been serving up some bone broth for the past two weeks, mixing it in with the chicken meat broth that we drink everyday. So far, so good. Nothing like before where I just went ballistic on everyone. We tried brussel sprouts last week and I think we will try them again tomorrow because that seemed to go over well. Yesterday we tried a little cauliflower. Yum! Everyone loved it and wanted more, but I would only let everyone have a very small serving. Today was a great day!

I did not lose my temper. My oldest got up early and started his schoolwork, completed it an hour early, was cooperative on all of the subjects where he had to work with me, helped out where needed without having to be asked, and on and on. CKS seemed better today than he has been in a long while, though far from the normal we enjoyed a few months ago. Everyone was happy, except KES, but she cheated over the weekend, so I guess I don't know for sure about her.

It was a good day, despite the washing machine not working. It is never the circumstances that make a day good or bad. It is always how we receive and react to those circumstances that makes it a good day or a bad day. Today was a good day.

Raw Dairy

2010-12-09T01:37:00.000-06:00

OK, so I am determined to take the dairy out. I am not willing to live with the regressions and the discomforts if it is from an intolerance, which I am sure it is. Yesterday, I served no butter and we used very little ghee. I slept better, was less stuffy, and I could actually get my ring off in the morning, although I was still a little swollen. CKS also seemed to be a bit better today, just a bit. He did not look like he felt miserable all day. His eye contact was a bit better (I think), and he had better control of his emotions. Yay!

This morning I was thinking about how it took about a year before we could tolerate egg yolks and how, when we finally tried again after re-starting intro, they were eggs from Farmer Brown's pastured chickens. I am still afraid to try yolks from store-bought eggs, even if they DO claim to be free-range. The regressions were not fun to see my little boy suffer through.

I also read in the GAPS book that when you introduce yoghurt, that it is best to use raw milk. I started to think about the fact that the organic butter I buy from the store is not raw. It is probably made from pasteurized milk. MAYBE, if we try again with raw butter and ghee made from raw butter, we will finally be able to tolerate dairy. Oh, I hope so!

Anyway, the first step is to take the dairy out and get back to 'normal' again. The second step is to try to add more variety of vegetables to our diet. The third step is to find some raw butter and try again. I could also try yogurt and kefir made from goats milk, if I can find a good source of fresh raw goats milk. I do NOT like the taste of goats milk that I have purchased from the store, but I have heard that fresh raw milk from a healthy goat is good. I am a city girl and know nothing about these things.

No more dairy for now (well, maybe by next week, as I have already cooked some meals for this week and we will need to eat it up).

Washing Machine is SO Wishy-Washy

2010-12-09T01:16:00.000-06:00

I have four kids who wet the bed. Sometimes all four leak out of their diapers/pull-ups on the same night. With regular laundry for a family of seven and all of the pee pee laundry, we run 3-6 loads of laundry a day on weekdays and 0-3 loads on the weekends.

My washing machine is very useful, but it is NOT reliable. I had to have it serviced two years ago to replace a sensor. I have a repairman coming tomorrow to do the same, I think. It is the same problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't work. You just never know. It's so wishy-washy! Arghg!!!

I Think It's Dairy, But I Don't Want to Give It Up

2010-12-06T03:31:00.000-06:00

I think normal evades us because we are still sensitive to dairy. I added all of those many things in a while back and butter was one of them. No obvious and horrible symptoms to point directly to dairy being the culprit, but more subtle ones (in my mind). Anger, aggression, serious regression would be obvious and horrible symptoms that would make me turn back and even redo intro.

Here is what we are dealing with:

I had several months without any symptoms from hormonal changes. I didn't even see it coming and there was no pain or discomfort associated with the cycle. These past two months, I have been irritable, bloated, tired, achey, and I have been experiencing insomnia. I feel agitated and I have this sense of urgency, like nesting before a baby is born. Also, I can't sleep a full night because I sleep horribly after a few hours and I wake up swollen and hurting. My wedding ring is impossibly tight. Normally it is falling off. I have finally gained weight. Less nursing and more butter. Hmm. More nuts and honey, too.

MKS, 12yo ds, can't keep his mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what he does hear gets mixed up in his head, is forgetful, and he talks too much like he has no control and he just has to tell.

KRS, 9yo dd, seems fine, but has more trouble with getting up in the morning than she used to have.

KES, 6yo dd, can't keep her mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what she does hear gets mixed up in her head, is forgetful, and she talks too much (nonstop) like she has no control and just has to tell.

CKS, 3yo ds, is mildly rigid, tactile (hands and toys and everything in his mouth, hands always holding himself so he looks like he has to pee constantly, rolling on floor, leaning on or at least touching me almost constantly if he is in the same room with me, rubbing his arms/shoulders on cars, doors, walls as he walks), no focus, eye-contact is forced (he can do it for a few seconds when you ask him to, but he does not look at you when he talks to you, which is constantly), panic is first reaction, lots of things are upsetting, seems to not feel well a lot lately (tummy aches), oppositional quite a bit, wakes up crying or in a panic because he needs to go potty, says everything that comes in his head, repeats questions over and over, repeats lots of things over and over. There's more, but...anyway, normal eludes us for now.

SSS, 20 month old ds, just a bit more fussy and clingy than usual. No normal poos lately. Come to think of it, no one is having lovely brown poos anymore on a consistent basis. Hmm.

Back to me, I have been a bit stuffy in the nose on a consistent basis for several months now. I should mention that the only pregnancy where I did not feel nauseated was the last one so long as I avoided dairy and sugar. That would mean that dairy intolerance affected my hormones without a doubt. If it helped to avoid it during pregnancy, then it would make sense that it would help PMS symptoms to avoid it now. Oh, yes, I should also mention the reoccurrence of acne. It's mild, but present. I had enjoyed having none.

Now I know that much of my children's behavior is normal for kids these days, but I know it is not normal behavior for healthy kids. I have seen them behave beautifully. I have seen them think clearly. I have seen them make good decisions. I have seen them look beyond themselves and consider the needs of others. I have seen them play nicely with each other and with others. I have seen so many wonderful things as a result of this diet. I know what is possible. I want that to be permanent in another year or two, no matter what they eat.

I know that my current PMS symptoms are normal by today's standards and can be somewhat surpressed and controlled by medications, but I have experienced life without PMS and I know it is wonderful and good. I want the good life back!!!

I know it's dairy because of the no nausea during pregnancy thing and because MKS' symptoms are the same as when we removed and added dairy in several times before GAPS.

I DON'T WANT IT TO BE DAIRY!!!!! I love dairy. Calcium?

We can't tolerate bone broth, spinach, broccoli, etc. Where will we get our calcium. I am certain we must be deficient. HELP!

Lord, I want to eat good food. I want to tolerate and enjoy the food you provided for our health. Say the word and we can eat it. You have the power to make it so. Please let us be able to eat good food. I do not want to worry about everything we put in our mouths anymore. Heal my children. Heal me. Make us happy. Make us content no matter what the circumstances. That's the problem. Our food sensitivities make us agitated. Our minds are not at peace. Your Word says that we will find peace in Christ. We are to cast our burdens on Jesus. This is a burden to us. Jesus, take it from us, please. Help us to be good. Help us to live for You and not to be always so focused on what we can and can't do, and on what we can and can't eat. Amen.

"My Not Happy"

2010-12-05T23:25:00.000-06:00

When CKS doesn't feel well or when things are not going his way, he says, "My not happy."

So I am here today to say, "My not happy."

Our younger dd, age 6, ate lots of desserts at a pot luck lunch at our church today when we were not looking. We are talking wheat, sugar, artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives, and pasteurized, homogenized, non-organic milk products. Let's not forget the unhealthy kinds of oils used, too. I could cry. What I don't understand is that so far there seems to be no obvious reactions. She did mention her arms aching, but that it would come and go. Where's the eczema?!? Give her a bit of honey and some fruit and she almost instantly itches on her forehead and in the warm, moist places on a girl's body. What's up with that?

The only thing that I can guess is that her body is in shock and does not know how to respond to what just happened and it will deal with it later. If she is fine all week, then I should just give this whole venture up entirely. That's how I feel. This doesn't make sense to me.

Really, I won't quit! She used to wake up nightly, even before the obvious vaccine injury, with leg cramps, tummy aches, worries, and bad dreams. Now she sleeps through the night 99% of the time. She used to throw angry, hateful fits over the smallest things. Now she is pleasant and helpful, kind and considerate. She used to be a picky eater. Now she eats what we serve.

She likes our food, at least most of it, but she longs to be done with the diet and be able to eat anything. She needs more variety?!? She is concerned about appearance?!? I know it embarrasses her to have to eat differently. I can't do much about that other than just not put her in a position where she and/or others are eating together. No more pot luck dinners. It's too much work for me anyway, and with five kids, two little, I am not free to mingle much anyway. It is WAY too much trouble!!! No more birthday parties! Maybe the reason her sister And I are fine with fruit and honey and she is not is because we have never cheated and she has. She used to cheat. Maybe she still does and this is the first time we caught her. Oh!!! I am sooooo not happy!!!

What to do?!? What to do?!?

We have let her go to friends' houses and birthday parties because we thought we could trust her, finally. We thought she was finally understanding. Today, I let her sit with a friend at the pot luck because I thought she would be fine. Now I know she can't be trusted yet. Oh! Oh! Oh!! I do not like this! I want to trust my kids. I want to give them freedoms. I do not like this feeling of not being able to trust her!

I really need to go to the Lord with this. YES, that's what I need to do.

Heavenly Father, You know my heart. You know my pain. You understand fully what I am going through because You know me better than I know myself. You are God and You have authority over all things. Nothing is a surprise for You. Nothing is beyond You. Your hand is in all things and You work all things together for the good of those who love You and whom You have called according to Your purposes. Help me to see this from Your perspective. Help me to trust You and Your ways with this. I know that to lash out in anger would be contrary to your will. I know that I should regard her with love. I know that I should be patient and kind. I need to always protect, trust, hope and persevere. Show me what that looks like. Pull me out of this lowly funk I am in. Lift me out of the depths. Give me the strength to persevere. You have called me to the task. You will provide a way for me. My strength comes from You. Without You I can do nothing. All things are possible with God. Thank You for your Word and for recalling these truths to my mind. Help me to keep this in my mind tonight and throughout the day tomorrow. In the name of my Lord and my Saviour, Jesus Christ, I thank You for everything. How blessed we are. How blessed I am. I will continue to give my best for these children, who are only mine for a time. They are eternal beings and they are Yours. I will glorify You by giving them the best I have. Amen.

It's a Topsy-Turvey World

2010-12-04T03:43:00.000-06:00

Maybe it was the change in laundry detergent. Maybe it is the butter. Maybe it is the increase in fermented cod liver oil. Who knows, but my 3 year old is acting just like his older brother used to be and my oldest is also acting like he used to be. Where did normal go? I liked normal. Can't we just stay there for awhile? It's so fleeting.

Well, I am praying for answers and direction. I know we are healing and the ups and downs are part of this whole process, but I sure wish there were more ups than downs.

Still happy about the potty training. CKS just got new big boy underwear today. CARS and Spiderman. Very cool. I had to get him some new undies because he wanted 'thin' undies like his older siblings and had resorted to wearing his sisters' underwear. That's just wrong.

On that note, our 20 month old son loves shoes and dress-up. I keep finding him in his sister's sparkly gold dress-up shoes. He likes them because they are pretty, easy to put on, and he can walk around in them without tripping and falling too much. He also wears her sneakers, her sandles, and her boots. His going places shoes are CKS' old brown shoes. They are too big, but they stay on and he doesn't fall so we will just go with it.

So I switched back to our old laundry detergent. The butter stays and I am going to introduce yogurt and kefir as soon as I can make it happen (just bought a gallon of raw milk this week). I will continue to increase the cod liver oil and add in the other oils and new foods. We are just going to go with this for awhile. Hope it all evens out again soon, but it probably will not, if I keep adding and increasing stuff. Shucks! Oh, well.

Hey, they all sleep through the night most every night these days. That in and of itself feels like a dream. Everyone is happier and more cooperative in general. That feels like a dream, too. We have even had fewer wet beds lately and we even had one day that I didn't have even one load of pee pee laundry. That was like a dream. Not without troubles, but things are definitely better than before.

I guess I will press on an see what more is in store for us down the road.

Have I mentioned that four out of the six of us can eat fruit and honey? I'm sure I have. These things keep me motivated. Oh, yes, and we had brussell sprouts this week. We each had only one. Not too bad, though I think there were some reactions. We will just have to try again a few more times.

I am all over the place in this post. It is probably because it is the middle of the night. I should just go to bed. G' Night.

The Rash is Gone (almost) and Potty Training is Complete

2010-11-18T02:59:00.001-06:00

I am up way too late, but this is the only time I have to myself, so here goes...

The rash and the regression are almost completely gone!!! WooHoo!!! CKS is also completely potty trained!!! WooHoo!!!

The rash on his bottom has healed and is fading away and the rash on his torso and cheeks are fading, too, so it is hard to say that letting him run around naked was what did it. I think that it helped tremendously to relieve the constant inflammation. I think that the baking soda we mixed with water and applied to the rash several times a day at the start has helped. I think that brushing his teeth with baking soda in the mornings may have played a part in helping to alkalize his body, too. Maybe we just pushed through and he is coming out on the other side of it.

Whatever the reason, I am glad and relieved! It began to worry me a bit to see the rash getting worse and worse over a period of weeks and even bleed and ooze in the diaper area. It bothered me to see him regressing for such an extended period of time. It is so good to see him coming out of it.

He is not quite his usual self again. He is still reminding me of his older brother's preschool years and all of the maddening things his older brother did and how I knew something wasn't right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it or get anyone else to agree with me that something wasn't right. I am still carrying lots of frustration (anger) about that. I am trying to let it go because it affects how I feel about my oldest child. I used to blame him for being oppositional and manipulative. I used to think he was being deceptive, but now I feel certain that the same thing happened to my oldest son as happened to my second son. It was just gradual and subtle. He was my first and I had nothing to compare with. I am having a difficult time dealing with all of the feelings and emotions that are being brought up as my second son is repeating the behaviors of my oldest.

It makes me want to scream. In fact, I did scream quite a lot today. I just screamed at the top of my lungs to let out the frustration. My little ones thought that was a fun idea, so they were screaming, too. It was loud in our house today. I pray that tomorrow is better for me. I was hard on my oldest today. I will have to love on him a little extra tomorrow. One thing he has going for him is that he is amazingly forgiving.

I know he cannot help or even change who he was and it makes no sense to be mad about it. I would not mind prayers for me to be able to let go of anger concerning the early years of my eldest child. I covet your prayers about this. Thanks.

Just Like Big Brother

2010-11-12T02:38:00.000-06:00

So I had written quite a bit more about this, but an error occurred when saving and I lost it all, so I will put it all simply.

When CKS regressed, he exhibited many of the same characteristics of his big brother that had not previously been characteristic of himself.

Lately, as we have been working through this latest period of slight regression, he keeps doing things that totally remind me of his big brother. He must be with me and even touching me nearly all of the day. He wants to go everywhere I go. He wants me to do everything for him. He wants only me to put him to bed. Today, he was negotiating all day. He repeats his statements and requests over and over and demands that you answer him again and again. I told him I would give him to the count of twenty to finish a particular activity and he said, "How 'bout ten or thirty?" My oldest did that for everything!!! It's maddening!!! Of course, I said, "Twenty."

Eye Contact and Clear Words

2010-11-12T01:43:00.000-06:00

Today CKS's eye contact was much better and his words were clear again. As I mentioned in another post, his rash is getting better. Well, it is clearly much better today. Potty training is pretty much done, except it remains to be seen if he will remember not to pee or poo in his pants when we tuck his little heiny in some snug underwear. Maybe we need to make a special trip to the store to buy him some "big boy" underwear. Hmm.

So this is all good. We are still eating nut butter and GAPS bread. We are still eating butter. We are still eating raw egg yolks and scrambled eggs. We have added/increased sauerkraut, raw lettuce, and raw squash. We did, however, drop the honey and the bone broth. I guess we will try again later.

The Rash Seems to be Getting Better

2010-11-10T01:31:00.000-06:00

So our little boy has this really bad rash on his cheeks and on his diaper area and he has lots of fine dots on his torso. I think it could be yeast. Might be a reaction to the nuts, as we have had lots of GAPS bread and nut butter as of late and I think it started about the same time. I have not kept good records as of late, so I can't be sure, but I do not want to take nuts out again. We will push through for a while and see what happens.

Running around naked or in a big shirt and applying water and baking soda on the rash multiple times a day seems to be helping. It is drying out and much less red and inflamed. I think the borders are receding, but it might be my imagination. His cheeks and the rash on his bottom get bright red right after every meal. Strange. I thought it was coconut oil, but some meals have no coconut oil. Hmm.

Bonus: 8 days of pee and poo in the potty. WooHoo!

Heart and Soul

2010-11-04T09:14:00.001-05:00

Not sure if I mentioned it, but ever since the rash appeared on CKS he's been a bit on the rigid side, grumpy/oppositional, frowny, clingy, and on and on. We decided to push through and keep going with all of the things we added in my moments of insanity a few weeks ago. I added GAPS bread, butter, honey, lettuce, and I don't know what else. I did drop the honey because he was over the top tactile and that was annoying and dangerous.

ANYWAY, I just woke up to the happy sounds of my little boy singing "Bay, bay, bay" to the tune of Heart and Soul. To make it even better, I hear him declare, "My piano is right here!" I imagine he is playing the footboard on his toddler bed. Imagination is back!!! (I should mention that lately I have been hearing the words, "Mommy, what should I play?")

Did I mention in another post that he is potty training? Did I mention that the rash is looking a bit better.

Have I mentioned in any previous posts that rashes and regressions go together, but if we can push through long enough we see leaps forward beyond where he was before the regression?

My HEART and SOUL are filled with joy today! Thank You, Lord!

Thankful (a prayer written 10/12, but perfect for today)

2010-11-03T23:40:00.000-05:00

Heavenly Father,

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. All that we are going through only makes this clearer in my mind. I worship You because You are worthy to be praised! You are the God of the earth and You are the God of the universe. You made it all and You have authority over it all. Nothing in Your creation is out of Your control. You are good and You are good all the time. Everything You do is good.

Lord, even our trials and our struggles are for Your glory. May we glorify You through our journey day to day. Lord, forgive me for my failings for they are many. Change my heart, oh God, and make me like You. Heal me, mind, body, and soul. Make me in your image, my King.

Thank You for Your Son, Jesus! Thank You for the free gift of forgiveness and for redemption through the blood of the Lamb. Thank You for calling me out of darkness and for adopting me to be Your child. Thank You for loving me, even when I am so unlovable. That is what is so amazing about You, Father. You are God, and yet You love even me. I am so very unworthy, but it is not about me - it is all about You.

Thank You!

I am thankful that You gave me the desire of my heart, five beautiful children. I am thankful that I get to watch them grow and learn and discover the world around them. Each one is a treasure, a precious gift from You. I want to treat them like treasure! Help me to do this.

I am thankful to have my children back.

How Beautiful are the Feet of Him Who Brings Good News

2010-11-03T23:35:00.000-05:00

Written on 10/17

My feet remind me of the Good News of Christ and His sacrifice for us.

I have been struggling on and off for several weeks now. I have been fighting to capture every thought and make it obedient to Christ and it is not easy.

Last night I wanted to tell my DH all of the ways he could do things differently to make life better for me, which is totally backwards and wrong. I wanted to let him know that he offended me. To protect my marriage, I kept quiet. It was so hard to do. My body showed physical signs of upset at every turn. My breathing was labored as I tried to hold it all in and then I changed my thinking and calmed myself down. I relaxed and went to sleep without saying a word.

This morning, I noticed my feet while getting ready to hop into the shower. They are even younger looking than I ever remember them. The callouses are smaller and less painful than ever before. It is yet another small sign of healing. It is slow, but it is happening.

This path is very difficult at times and I sometimes feel frustrated and I want to give up (don't know where I would go), but every little improvement keeps me forging ahead.

Thank You, Lord, for a little reminder of the good things that are happening in our house. Thank You for Your Word, which is true in every way. Thank You for the power of Your Word in our lives. It is truly the Living Word. You are the Good News that we need every moment of every day.

My beautiful feet reminded me today how wonderful it is to know You because someone else took the time to bring me the Good News.

Diaper Talk

2010-11-03T23:31:00.001-05:00

I'm waiting on some cloth diapers and inserts in varying sizes to arrive. I plan to put all of by bedwetters (4 of them) in cloth at night, since I am doing 1-2 loads of pee pee laundry a day anyway. The disposables don't hold, so even if the cloth leaks, it's no big deal with the bonus of never having to buy diapers and pull-ups again. (except for emergencies, like broken washing machines)

I may put the little one in cloth during the day, too.

I found these pocket trainers called Happy Heinys and they are comfy and cute and easy to use. I tried several others, but liked this one best. I can't wait for my order to arrive. Who ever would have guessed that I would get so excited over cloth diapers? I really am changing.

Potty Training Again

2010-11-03T23:31:00.000-05:00

Celebration Time:

CKS, our 3yo, is finally potty training! Sadly, he has this horrible rash all over his body (cheeks, torso, and diaper area) and it is really irritated and red in the diaper area, so we put him in a big T-shirt only, or we let him run around naked. On day one he had several big wet accidents. On day two he had a few, but would stop it and finish in the potty AND he put poo in the potty! Today he only had one small accident AND he put poo in the potty TWICE!

This is SO great because he had started putting pee and poo in the potty just after his second birthday. I was very excited about this because this was earlier and easier than with any of the older three kids. He was practically training himself. Then he regressed and it all just stopped. I was swishing stinky, mushy, pooey training pants in the toilet too many times a day because he stopped putting anything in the potty. I gave up! 18 months later and we are back! Three great days! I pray it stays!

Poo Glorious Poo - Take Two

2010-11-03T23:29:00.000-05:00

Time for the Poo Report:

Everyone is pooin' everyday. Yes, pretty nearly every day. I have not had to do any enemas for several months now. It's awesome!!!

The two little ones still have some undigested bits in their poo, but it has firmed up into a nice creamy consistency, sometimes sticky, and rarely watery.

The two who used to have orangy fall-apart poos with lots of undigested bits that looked like an explosion in the toilet several times a day are now having very nicely formed brown poos daily, most of the time.

The two of us who were chronically constipated, going for days between poos are pooin' nicely formed brown poos daily (almost, but at least every 36 hours - WooHoo!).

It's a Roller Coaster Ride

2010-10-27T00:13:00.002-05:00

Yep, it's a roller coaster ride. Up, down, up, down, but I don't care how I get there, so long as I get there. I'm talking about healing my children and giving them a chance at living a full, blessed, and abundant life. It is my hope that they will each come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior and that they would love Him and serve Him all the days of their lives.

I would opt for instant healing. I would love an immediate change, but I know that I would quickly forget and I would, we would, quickly fall back into old habits and routines and would probably take for granted the mighty work the Lord has done for us. This way of healing is changing so many things in all of us. I am grateful for the work that is being done. I am happy for who we are becoming. It is slow and arduous, but the changes will be lasting changes.

We are not there yet and we have some pretty ugly days here and there, but they are fewer and farther in between. These past few weeks (months?) have been difficult and trying at times, but there is much evidence of healing, too.

Evidence of healing:

Me - no more constipation (daily formed, normal brown poos); more energy; no more waking up sore and stiff (unless I overdo the salicylates); no more gas pains and tummy tenderness; feet look younger; acne gone; no more itchy skin; fungal infections on feet and on toenails gone; fingernails no longer split and peel; strange itchy circles on chest gone; gums no longer bleed when I floss; my drippy nose rarely drips anymore; no more headaches (I used to take Flonase or Nasacort nightly or I would get debilitating migraines); fewer panic attacks; depression only rarely rears it's ugly head but does not last for very long; I can eat egg yolks without getting asthma, hic-cups, or rage; I can eat nuts without getting asthma, itchy palms, or becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without waking in the night frozen and in great pain; I am holding steady at a healthy weight (not too low despite the fact that I am nursing); I have been able to nurse my fifth baby on demand without experiencing the overabundant milk supply that caused frustrating issues and caused too much weight loss; I'm happier than I ever was; I am now capable of organizing and maintaining the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry); I can actually cook from scratch (before we started the Feingold diet 4-5 years ago, I could not boil water without burning it - ha ha); I can go hours between meals/snacks and still feel great; I'm sure there's more, but that sums it up pretty good. Challenges remaining - I still can not eat too many salicylates without getting rigid, irritable, and frustrated; I still can not tolerate more than a little bone broth, if that, without becoming angry; still working my probiotic dose up ever so slowly to a therapeutic dose; diet is still very limited (missing out on, garlic, spinach, broccoli, and cauliflower)

12yo - improved eye contact; improved memory; improved social skills; improved strength and coordination; sensory issues have become minimal (only bad when introducing new food, increasing probiotic, or when he's sick); eats with fork (less shoveling); less rigidity and fewer obsessive/addictive tendencies; fewer annoying habits (I will not list these); no more stinky behavior; handwriting is greatly improved; spelling is greatly improved; understanding of math concepts is greatly improved; ability to remember and utilize the basics is finally there (he was getting C's, D's, and F's in math and writing because of all the little mistakes that ultimately led to wrong answers, but now he is getting A's all around); he's now teachable; he learns new things quickly now (it used to take forever to teach him a new concept, even seemingly simple ones, and then they wouldn't always stick and I'd have to show him again and again; no longer oppositional or defiant; happy; good attitude; fewer stomach aches; fewer body aches; fewer trips to the bathroom (he used to live in the bathroom); daily formed, normal brown poos instead of 5-8 mushy messes with lots of undigested bits (glad you stayed for this bit of info?!?); headaches are now rare; actually likes school; he concentrates better; he can narrate what he's read soooooo much better now (he could not narrate before because he could not organize it and communicate it in a meaningful way; he plays well with his little brothers and is a great help with them; he can be trusted to make better decisions, better choices; understands things better; communicates better; does not repeat himself over and over and over anymore; does not ask the same questions over and over and over anymore because now he remembers that he asked and now he remembers the answer more often than not; no more croupy cough and constant clearing of throat; generally nicer to be around; no more meltdowns (rare); again, I'm sure there's more, but hey, if this was it, who could complain? Challenges remaining - still gets weak and feels generally bad in the mornings; gets headaches (but not as often as he used to get them); lately he has been dizzy and has been losing his balance (huh? GAPS related?); he has also started doing this weird eye thing where he looks surprised or scared, but at odd times. It can happen numerous times during a conversation. He is not aware that he is doing it; there are some other challenges, but I think I will move on. (update 11/7/10: not doing the weird eye thing anymore, short-lived during a period of die-off, whew!)

9yo - stopped flipping letters and numbers; stopped switching letters and numbers; started to read and now loves to read; tells me the letters don't jiggle and move off the page anymore; math became a breeze (subtraction and multiplication easy after struggling with simple addition for over a year before GAPS); happier; depression gone (used to wish she would die or had never been born); rages gone (still waiting on adding food that brought about some scary rages in the past); plays well with all of her siblings (used to absolutely hate her sister and used to just do mean things, liked making others scared of her); she is now an absolute dream child as she helps around the house, loves to do her schoolwork, and is so great at entertaining everyone and making everyone laugh; her artistic endeavors improve daily; constipation is gone and she poos daily at least once; eczema is gone; she can now eat fruit, nuts, and honey without itching (yeast, whole body general itchiness, and eczema); can eat eggs with yolks without rages; can tolerate some salicylate foods without reactions; fewer headaches; I'm sure there's more. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (but it's less since we added nuts); headaches (still too often).

6yo - rages stopped (only occasional when exposed to something like ink, paint, smells, chemicals); growing taller (she is super small, but has grown nearly 2 inches in the past year), gaining weight (33? Pounds to 40 pounds); does not hate the taste and smell of everything anymore (she actually loves to eat now); not as sensitive to textures anymore (example-she can eat the fat with her meat without gagging or throwing a fit, but still not her favorite); likes vegetables (used to hate all veggies); no longer whines; no longer cries about every little thing like it was the end of the world; happier for sure (smiles all the time); can actually eat some nut butter without getting too unbearably itchy (still a bit itchy, but we try not to push it past the point where she can't stand it); can now eat egg yolks with no reactions; learned to read with little effort on my part; math is coming super easy for her; learns things with little effort now (she used to give up before even trying); plays well with siblings; again, I'm sure there's more, but moving on. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (still soaked through every night); eczema, especially on forehead where she scratches until she bleeds; leg cramps still cause her lots of pain, particularly if we spend a lot of time outside (she will sometimes wake several times in the night crying. Thankfully, detox baths help a bit); diet is still limited for her and all of us.

3yo - he feels so much better overall and he is a happy boy most of the time; eye contact is much improved; language is developing normally (only slipping from time to time as we add food or increase a healing food or a probiotic; sometimes he is actually the most normal 3yo you will ever see and so intelligent, too; only rigid when adding or increasing foods or probiotics; only sensory seeking when adding or increasing foods or probiotics (loud, physical, bumping, ramming, squeezing, stomping, etc.); generally he is almost the happy, easy-going, independent little boy that he was before the vaccine injury; loves all of the food I make and serve (had previously tried to limit his diet to lemonade and cookies); coordination is back; can sometimes color beautifully in the lines (not bad for 3 1/2); knows most of his letters and all of his numbers through 12 (recognize, write, and sign); loves to read again; loves to do puzzles again; plays make believe games with his sisters; what appeared to be seizures is gone (virtually gone after 3weeks on a limited full GAPS and only resurfaced when we tried to introduce sulfur foods during the first year of the diet); no more grabbing at his eyes and crying in pain; no more odd stimming behaviors; poo is improving in texture and color with less undigested bits; whines less and uses good manners (responds well to do overs when he forgets to use good manners); more?!? Challenges remaining - still regresses a bit when adding/increasing healing foods and probiotics; still regresses when exposed to chemicals on skin or in the air (we have to be careful with him); still has undigested food in stool; still has skin rashes/eczema all over his body and really bad in his diaper area; still resists potty training and has yet to put poo in the potty since before the vaccine injury (he was training easily and on his own before he started to regress); still rigid about some things (example-he will only wear long jeans and a t-shirt no matter what the weather is like); still has days or weeks here and there where he just looks like he feels miserable and he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything unless it is with mommy; that will do for listing challenges, but we have come a long way even with this long list of challenges.

18 month old - he is developing beautifully; he sleeps through the night; coordinated (can climb on anything and he does not fall); catches himself when he trips or stumbles over something and pretty much never hits his head on the floor; learning language right on track (I think); easy-going; happy; interactive and makes great eye-contact; loves to explore with other people who tell him what things are and show him how things work; plays nicely with his siblings and also plays well independently; he had food intolerances when he was born and I had to eliminate dairy and a few other things from my diet, but he seems to be tolerating all of the GAPS food well as it is introduced; his poos are beginning to form up more and more and there is less undigested food in his stool than earlier on. Challenges - none that I can think of. This child has not had any vaccinations to date.

Wow! That feels great to have put all of that down in writing! Knowing how far we have come and seeing that we are indeed healing is what keeps me going on the days where it all feels overwhelming and too much (which of course are the days when I am having a reaction to something). We really are healing! I have to shout out praise to my God who heard me when I called out to him in desperation. He heard my prayer and He answered me! He gives me what I need.

Like I said before, God has the power to heal in an instant, but I know my heart and the heart of my children and we wanted to be healed so that we could be like everyone else and live a life of comparative ease. I am grateful for all that we are learning on this journey. We are healing slowly. We are changing slowly. The changes in us are permanent and I am glad!

How do I wrap this up? I am so full of joy right now I don't want to stop! I pray that this is encouraging for others on a similar path of healing. May God bless all who have visited my blog and read any of my entries. Amen!

What We Ate Today

2010-10-16T01:36:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I documented what we have been eating. It got pretty boring there for awhile and some might say it is still boring, but we are actually very satisfied for the time being. Thankfully, my children LOVE good healthy food now.

We start the day by drinking warm filtered water with sea salt added. We take our Bio-Kult, and then we juice carrots and a little celery. Everyone gets their fermented cod liver oil with their carrot juice. The two little ones like it mixed and we call it 'tuna salad in a cup'.

We usually have chicken and a veggie for lunch. I have to boil chicken every day to have enough broth for all six of us since we can not yet tolerate bone broth. I put the veggies on the plates and let them cool a bit before I add coconut oil and olive oil. We put some chicken on every plate and a bit of sauerkraut. Everyone drinks some lemon water with Natural Calm mixed in, about 4 tablespoons of sauerkraut juice, and half a mug of broth before they eat what is on their plates. Sometimes I serve some avocado, too. Oh, yes, and we mix about 2 teaspoons of egg yolk into each cup of broth for this meal only because I am limited in the amount of farm fresh eggs I have access to each week.

Today we had leftover chicken soup and leftover peas for lunch, instead of chicken and a veggie. It's pretty much the same food, only served in a different way and I didn't have to cook chicken or strain any broth today. Yay! We still had all of the oils and egg yolks and sauerkraut, too.

Snack was leftover pork and onions cooked in coconut oil and leftover squash fries and a spoonful of nut butter for my son who had a LEGO robotics meeting from 1-5. The rest of us had a tiny piece of GAPS bread, a small bit of butter, a spoonful of nut butter, and a small bit of scrambled eggs cooked in ghee. Yum!

Dinner today was leftovers, as well. It's nice to have one day a week with minimal food prep. We had some buffalo stew (stew meat, carrots, green beans, onions cooked in coconut oil, and sea salt). We had some leftover beef casserole. I cooked some of the leftover green beans with a little ghee and coconut oil. I put cold peas on the table and several blended veggies and soups. I blend lots of things for the little ones. It keeps the undigested bits at a minimum and they actually like it better this way. Our littlest one calls it squash and is always shoving his plate at me shouting, "Squash! Squash!"

So that's it, except for the fruit and nuts I ate after the kids went to bed. Shhh!

Happy Thoughts

2010-10-14T09:03:00.002-05:00

We are fearfully and wonderfully made. One of the things that drives me and keeps me following this GAPS protocol, even when things seem so hard at times, is my faith in God. He made us. I don't want to put poisons or unnatural things into our bodies anymore. I want to do things His way.

God's Word tells us often to think happy thoughts. We are to love our enemies (an active love, not an emotional feeling). We are to show kindness to those who treat us in unkind ways. We are told to give up our anger, bitterness, and rage, and we are to be kind and compassionate to one another. We are to let go of our anxiety and PRAY about everything, with thanksgiving. We are to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Then, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.

During my fifth pregnancy, I experienced a lot of contractions, as is usual for me. I trusted in God that they were fine. (it's a long story made short) when I started having more and more, which I later tied to medicine I was using, I figured I should err on the side of caution and check everything out. We went to the midwives to be checked. They freaked out about the strength and number of contractions I was having. I tried to stay calm, but I eventually believed their worries could be for real and I became worried, too. Everything got worse and more painful because of my fear. I was only 28 weeks along. It felt like labor (5th baby, I know what labor feels like). Meds did not stop the contractions. I called my friend who prayed for me and believed that the contractions would stop. I rested in her faith and I again trusted in God to keep my baby safe until his due time. The contractions slowed down and I did not have to go back to the hospital. I spent the next month or so on bed rest. I used that time to study God's Word and practice trusting in Him. The contractions became less intense and less frequent the more I trusted in God. When I got up to serve my family, believing that serving my family is what God wanted me to do, I had beautiful fulfilling days with very few contractions. My baby was born at 38 weeks.

One thing that I learned while preparing for childbirth that has really stuck with me is that fear is the opposite of faith. It is true.

I did a little experiment this morning. I woke up feeling a bit better. My ring was only mildly tight. I thought happy thoughts and my ring slid off of my finger easily. I mused on negative thoughts and purposed to focus on my pain. My ring got tight and my body hurt. I purposed to think good thoughts and think about my body working the way it should, my heart pumping efficiently, my lungs drawing in enough air, my body utilizing everything the way it should. My ring slid off more easily and my body felt less swollen. I did this a number of times.

Thoughts and words are powerful! There is POWER in the Word of our God because His Word is true. I know this is true. I am going to explore this more and more. I am excited about what this day holds for us.

Thank You, God, for Your Word, which is true from beginning to end. Thank You, Lord, for Your guidance. Thank You for this life that You have granted us. Thank You for this day that You have made. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!!!

Too Many Salicylates

2010-10-13T23:09:00.000-05:00

I think my troubles are caused by too many salicylates. Why? Because we were all extremely sensitive to salicylates before GAPS and early on in GAPS.

How did salicylates affect us? Physical pain, body aches and pains, emotional upset, frustration, melt-downs, anger, rages.

What am I struggling with now? The same.

The first time we tried to add coconut oil was painful. It took three attempts to get it in and we had to go slow. Adding nuts was slow and painful. Berries gave me problems at first. I think we are having a little everyday and that is why we are all having troubles together and I have been eating more than the kids so I have been more affected.

I am going to back off of the nuts. I went a little crazy with the nuts. I am happy that they no longer cause any asthma or eczema, but I guess they still can affect me emotionally if I eat too many.

A Good Day

2010-10-13T22:53:00.000-05:00

Today was amazing! Maybe it was because I got more sleep, albeit a fitful sleep. Maybe it was because we did not add any bone broth to our broth today. Maybe it was because I did not snack on nuts last night and only had a small bit of nut butter and GAPS bread with my kids. Maybe it was just a good day.

We accomplished all of our cooking, laundry, schoolwork, cleaning, detox baths, prep for tomorrow, and even had friends over to play and played a few games before bedtime. Yay! Oh, if everyday could be like today.

More Sleep and Still Swollen

2010-10-13T07:57:00.000-05:00

I took a little nap on the couch. Still fitful. I still feel every bit of my body. My hands, and it feels like my whole body, are even more swollen. Could it be that I use too much salt? I do use a LOT of salt? Hmm.

A Good Night's Sleep

2010-10-13T06:33:00.000-05:00

I finally had a day where I got it all done and I went to bed at 9:30PM. It felt wonderful to go to bed so early. I even got eight hours of fitfull sleep.

Admittedly, I didn't really get it all done. We did absolutely NO schoolwork yesterday. I was fighting irritability all day. I couldn't read with and pray with my older children before bed because I just felt so very off and irritable, so my DH put them to bed.

Her I am, awake very early, and my body feels awful. I can feel every bit of myself. My fingers are swollen. I can tell because my ring is tight. It feels like the whole rest of my body is swollen, too. I feel that laying down horizontally for any length of time is not good for me. This is why I am not ever in a hurry to get to bed. I like the quiet of night and I hate the way I feel when I wake up for the day.

Something is wrong, but I don't know what. I am considering going to see a doctor to find out if I am particularly deficient in some important vitamin or mineral. I was extremely low in vitamin D a few years back and I am not sure if I ever got that resolved. Since then, I have been pregnant, I have been nursing, and I have been on GAPS for over a year. I used to take D vitamins and I am now taking fermented cod liver oil and am spending time out in the sun. My worst days have been these days where I am getting more sunshine. I am sure there is a connection.

I am glad to have this quiet time in the morning to think things through. Everyone will be up soon. I pray that I will have strength to keep it all together today. Lord, make it so.

Late To Bed and Up Twice

2010-10-12T02:01:00.000-05:00

I am just putting our six year old back to bed for the third time tonight. Leg cramps! We played at the park today with Daddy who was off for Columbus Day. Lots of fun, but here we are again with the leg cramps. I really wish I knew what caused it and how to fix it. Lord, please help us.

Baths help, but not for long. She wakes up crying. Nothing works. We put her in the bath and she is better after a short bit. We put her back to bed. She goes to sleep, I think. Later she is crying again. We put her in the bath. She's fine again. Back to bed. Hopefully this will be the last time. I am glad I stayed up late tonight, but now I am falling asleep while typing. I had better go to bed soon.

Still Wetting the Bed

2010-10-12T00:59:00.000-05:00

I still have four out of five kids wetting the bed at night, and we are not talking about a little bit of pee. We are talking about big-time heavy wetters. Everyone of them soaks through their pull-ups/diapers nearly every night!!! We do 1-3 loads of pee pee laundry a day plus 2 loads of regular laundry a day. My six and nine year olds sleep on crib mattresses on the floor because they are smaller than twin beds and so the bedding is less. They use blankets as pillows because we have ruined way to many blankets. So we have four crib mattresses in the house. (one crib, one toddler bed, two mattresses on the floor)

We spend a lot of money on disposable diapers, which I have always hated doing anyway, so we are looking into cloth diapers and trainers. I bought three and we have been trying them out. I found a youth cloth diaper for my oldest bed wetter, but it seems to be a bit too big. I bought a diaper called the Bum Genius, that I really thought I was going to love, but it is not working out. I am trying it on our littlest one tonight. I found training pants with a pocket for stuffing soakers and snaps on the sides for easy removal when wet or soiled. It is my favorite. I think they may have a size large enough for my older girls, too. I figure, even if they do leak, I am doing laundry anyway because the disposables aren't holding either so I may as well invest and wash the cloth diapers with the sheets and pee pads.

Something to be happy about is that since we added the nuts into the kids diets, two of them have had some dry nights and the others are wetting a little less, too. Go figure!

Which is worse, eczema or bedwetting? Here is where it gets tricky. What to do, what to do about those nuts!?!

Playing Outside Leads to Leg Cramps

2010-10-12T00:41:00.000-05:00

One thing I can pretty well count on is my daughter having leg cramps if we spend any significant amount of time outside in the sun. I used to get really bad leg cramps a few hours after going to bed, too. I wonder what causes this. This child has had leg cramps since she was at least 6 months old. She would wake up every few hours and just cry and grab at her leg. Nothing made her feel better. Laying her down and letting her cry it out was not an option, as she was obviously in pain. It was not just a habit to wake. Anyway, so sunshine brings on leg cramps. I want to know why!!!

It seems like everything that is good for us, everything that is supposed to be so healing, causes us grief. I guess it is because we are in need of so much healing.

Nuts Again

2010-10-12T00:33:00.000-05:00

Oh, we are all just delighted to be eating nuts again, and nut butter pancakes, and now GAPS bread made from nuts and squash and eggs.

However, our six year old is getting eczema again and I think it may be from the nuts. (coincidentally, of course, we added nut butter right at the same time she finished taking the S. boulardi) It is very difficult to coordinate everything for six of us and keep it all straight. I am pretty sure it is the nuts, though. I am giving her smaller amounts and the itching is less. She scratches at her forehead until she gets scabs and she has fits of frustration because of the itching. It is sad to see. If it weren't for the fits, I would not worry about it too much, but we all have to get along and she can't do anything productive or have any fun in a day if she is having fits all day. CKS has itchy rashes on his bum and on both cheeks, but it does not cause him to have fits, although he has been a bit more clingy and needy these past few weeks.

I've been eating nut all along, so nuts are not new to me and are not the source of my mood swings. Hmm.

Reactions - to what???

2010-10-12T00:17:00.001-05:00

I have everything in the world to be thankful for, so why do I feel sad, frustrated, irritable, and just plain blah? I know it's because I am a classic GAPS person. My feelings are totally NOT situational. My feelings are coming from the inside, not from outside circumstances.

Since I started all of this diet stuff, I have had days where everything went wrong, but I could handle it all and more. I have had days where things are really going quite well and I feel as if the world is falling apart around me.

Right now, my head knows that things are really going quite well, but I can only seem to focus on all of the little things that are not going right. When I say little things, I mean little things like kids getting distracted and forgetting to finish a task, or a bed sloppily made, or books put in the wrong place.

Oh, just this past week I had a friend over on Thursday and her baby was pulling at some notecards I have taped to the wall. I told my friend to please not let him pull the card off of the wall. I knew I would feel so irritated by it if it happened. The next day, she came to visit again and he did pull one off the wall and it didn't bother me a bit. I told her it was no big deal. I could just get a piece of tape and tape it back up. It is so ridiculous to me that something so simple as getting a piece of tape could seem like a huge inconvenience one day and no big deal the next day.

Some days, everything seems SOOOOOO HARD! Other days, I am on top of everything and it seems as if I can juggle a hundred things at once and it is even challenging and fun.

I had so many good days and now it is up and down for two to three weeks and I am not sure from day to day what to expect. I think it is the bone broth, but I am not sure. It could be that we are using a lot more coconut oil and ghee. We added nut bread this week, but this has been going on for longer than that. Eggs???

So what I don't know is whether or not I should stop the two small teaspoons of bone broth a day (this is total for the whole family) or push through on this one. After three weeks, I just don't know.

Oh, bother! It could be egg yolks. We were without eggs for a week and had to introduce them again. Maybe we introduced them too fast this time, but CKS is relatively OK, behaviorally and emotionally.

I think it could be that we suddenly started using lots of coconut oil when we started to make chicken and nut butter pancakes because they are "oh so good" when cooked with coconut oil.

Everyone is having symptoms of one kind or another these days and I think it may be the coconut oil because CKS has itchy rashes on his bum and on his cheeks that flare up at every meal. Maybe I should try to have one meal without coconut oil and see if his cheeks will NOT turn bright red. Hmm. I think I will try this tomorrow. No coconut oil for CKS.

If things do not settle out for me by the end of the week, I think we will quit the bone broth. I really, REALLY want to be able to make and serve bone broth. It is soooo healing. It has calcium. We need calcium.

OK. Enough rambling. Done!

Math Genius (times two)

2010-10-10T22:57:00.000-05:00

CKS is a little math genius!

He's 3 1/2 years old and quite precocious.

He's been impressing everyone with his newfound math skills. He knows 1+1=2 & 2+2=4 & 1+2=3. Not impressed yet?!?

He knows 3+3=6 & 4+4=8 & 5+5=10 & 5+1=6 & 5+2=7.

He also likes to tell us that 1&1&1&1 is four. Sharp kid! What do you think?

KES, 6 years old, is also doing quite well in math. She just gets it and she is flying through her math book. She understands the concept of multiplication and can figure out basic multiplication problems in her head. (just like her older brother)

My older two are also doing great! Math is one of their favorite subjects, along with journal writing, history, geography, and science.

School is so much smoother and easier this year than ever before. I am so happy about this.

An Unusual Post - just tired? Or GAPS related?

2010-10-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

It's been a little over two weeks since I posted anything. I have intended to write nearly every day, but I have been getting distracted and carried away by other things.

I can't sleep. I'm tired and I want to sleep, but I don't sleep well and I ache through the night, so I don't want to go to bed. I am easily irritated a lot lately and I really love the quiet in the house when everyone is sleeping. I miss feeling good and happy.

I am not unhappy or depressed. I am just feeling like I want to be alone, like I want to be left alone. I don't want to be bothered with all of the unexpected things that happen in a day. This is not right, because that's life. Life IS all of the unexpected things that happen day after day after day. Those unexpected things are what makes life interesting. It's what makes life challenging. It's what makes life fun! Right now I feel like I just want everything to be predictable.

Lately, I have been very contemplative. I have been watching home births on YouTube, not because I intend to have more children, but because I am in awe of the way our bodies work and the power of our thoughts and attitudes over the workings of our body. In labor, things happen and you are not in control, but you have control over how you deal with what is happening to your body. Fear brings pain and very likely complications. Faith, in God, in your body, in the process, brings peace and joy and very likely a quick, smooth, and easy birth. (Not always, I realize, but often.)

All of my children were born naturally without fear and with little pain. All were born in a hospital. Four were with midwives, although one was born just before the midwife arrived. I went through transition without realizing it because I was not afraid. I just dealt with each contraction as it came and suddenly my water broke and I felt the urge to push.

I have been reading other blogs, mostly stories of families dealing with the loss or impending loss of a child. I don't know why I am drawn to read these stories. I cry because, even though I could never really understand their loss, I remember how I felt when we lost our fourth baby, though it was early in our pregnancy. I remember how I grieved the "loss" of our fifth baby (CKS) when he regressed after that insidious vaccine. I remember how I grieved the "loss" of our third child (KES) to the same insidious vaccine given on the same day. I grieve the loss of our ability to be "normal". We are different! We don't fit in.

We would be somewhat normal if we would just eat normal food and go get labels for our children and enroll them in therapy sessions and plan our estate for their future care, but I will not do that. They are healing. Life is hard right now, but there is a great reward. We lost our children, but we have them back and they are getting better and better and better. This diet/protocol is working.

God is good all the time. He allows us to suffer the consequences of our own sin and even the sins of others, but He is there for us to help us through the difficult days. He is there to comfort us when we are hurting. He is there to teach us what we need to know. He uses all of this - everything - for our good, for His glory! We can trust Him in this. We can trust His Word which says that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and whom He has called according to His purposes. (I think I got that right.)

I could go on and on, but I think I will stop there. I need to rest a bit and come back later to write a GAPS progress report. I'm tired and falling apart, but there are some good things happening around here and of course more questions than answers. Go figure.

So It Goes

2010-09-24T19:01:00.000-05:00

So I have been reporting all of these praises lately and it was bound to happen: these last two days have been so hard.

I increased to Bio-Kult twice this week by 1/5 of a capsule each time. Two days ago I increased it for the second time, so we are all up to 2 and 2/5 capsules per day. (the baby only takes one) I also added a tsp of bone broth to our daily broth about three days ago. I know, too many changes all at once. I also increased coconut oil and olive oil and ghee to previously tolerated amounts. Yes, yes, I know. Too many changes. Oh, and scrambled eggs, too. Just a little.

So, I have been irritable, angry, tired, depressed, and just plain hard to live with. The baby is a wee bit fussy, but could be cuing off of me or reacting to my detox through breast milk. CKS has been rigid and fussy. He freaks out over putting his spoon in the wrong place or baby brother touching anything that he considers his own. These things don't phase him much anymore, but I guess it was all a bit too much. KES, age six, can't yawn and she itches all over. Granted, it is nothing like it was before. She also woke up once in the night with really bad leg cramps. The older two are only having mild reactions, the worst of which are poor handwriting, misspelled words, flipped and switched letters. Schoolwork suffers, but their attitudes have been great!

I think we will just hold where we are at for a few days. Detox baths help a bunch and CKS is already doing better tonight. Yea! I think we will get through this soon.

More Wonderful and Colorful Gains

2010-09-22T01:42:00.000-05:00

It just gets better and better!

CKS continues to be the most normal three year old and he is just amazing us everyday. He LOVES to color! Even before his second birthday, he loved to sit in the booster seat at the table and color while we did school with the other kids. Then he reacted to the vaccine and got very sick and he quit coloring.

Recently, he started coloring again. All through the summer he would get color pages from the library and he would bring them home and finish them. We gave him his own "school box" filled with crayons and colored pencils and a small journal. This week he started to color nearly in the lines.

Today, he surprised us by coloring a picture of himself completely in the lines. Not only that, but he colored the clothes to match what he was wearing and he colored his skin orange, the closest color to his darker Asian skin tone. We were floored! He's three and a half.

Our twelve year old son could not color in the lines a year ago and his handwriting was unbelievably awful. I remember getting very excited around Christmas time because he colored a huge color book picture (that in and of itself is amazing) completely in the lines. He has never liked to color, but he actually colored the picture together with CKS, just for fun.

Well, MKS, our 12 year old, is now able to write fairly neatly and remember basic writing rules. I can read his math, which makes it sooooo much easier to grade. He is completing his schoolwork in record time. He says it's easy now. He's not trying, it's just happening. I am so excited!

Our toddler, 17 months, is developing so well. I scared myself by doing intro while he was so little. He had some bad days and he flapped his hands and wouldn't make eye-contact, but now he is right on track. He says so many words I can't even begin to put them all down. He makes beautiful eye-contact and communicates his thoughts and desires quite well. He's a good little boy. He listens well and obeys. He loves to help with chores. He wants to do everything the big kids do. Can we say, "NORMAL"? Oh, so normal. Oh, so wonderful.

These younger two boys have been so easy-going, with the exception of regression and die-off, and now my older kids are able to go with the flow, too. Thank you, God, for GAPS! Even with all of the cooking and laundry, life is so much easier now, so much more happy and manageable. Meltdowns, tantrums, uncontrolled anger, irritability, picky eating, and all of the other "stuff" just don't happen very often anymore.

My girls, 9 and 6, are really coming into their own. They are such good Helpers around the house. KRS, 9 years, is the Queen of the Kitchen in Training. Her apron says so. She is quite capable of doing nearly everything I do in the kitchen, with a few exceptions. She is second in command when it comes to getting food on the table. She's amazing! KES, 6 years, has really come a long way this year. You would be amazed at all of the chores she cheerfully submits to helping with, including looking after her baby brothers and playing with them a lot while the older kids and I do all of the things the younger ones can't help with yet. She's incredible! This is all possible because they are not filled with anger, bitterness, and rage anymore. A year ago, it was such a struggle, but now...ahh!

Did I do it? Did I mention everyone? Oh, me. I rarely get angry anymore either. I am becoming more laid back and easy-going, too. It's refreshing and nice. Ahh!

We all have our days, as I continue to increase the probiotic and add new foods, but it is going so much easier now than when we first started. We are all very forgiving of each other, since we all have our days and we all understand what it's like to lose control and feel sorry for having acted in such ways. What a blessing.

Such a long post. Congratulations if you made it through! I am just so full of happy thoughts and it's so nice to have a place to share them.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for all of these great and wonderful improvements, successes, signs of healing. I thank You that everyone loves to eat the food we cook now. It was so hard in the beginning. I am so appreciative of their pleasure in eating the food I have prepared. Thank you for the clear minds and for making learning fun and easy this year. We are all enjoying school like never before! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Found: A New Doctor

2010-09-22T00:46:00.002-05:00

It's been over a year since any of us have seen a doctor for any reason. We haven't needed to go, since good, healthy food and detox baths seem to help in nearly all cases.

We do have a few areas where I am stumped about what to do, although I feel time and proceeding through the diet will fix all the issues, if I could only be patient (generally, not one of my strong points).

My older two kids have lots of headaches. Drinking more water has reduced the frequency and intensity of my oldest daughter's headaches, but she still gets them. My oldest son gets more headaches now than ever before. He has always inhaled water. Apple Cider Vinegar baths help them to go away, but they always come back. He's not been the most trustworthy kid as of late, so honestly, I don't know if they are for real or not.

Our youngest four pee excessively, soaking through pull-ups and diapers pretty nearly every night. Cutting back on the amount of meat they eat and increasing the veggies (carbs) has made for less pee and a few dryer nights, but without night-time diapers and pull-ups, I would still be washing bedding for four every day. Still a mystery. I think more onions equals more pee, too, but not sure.

The youngest three still have some eczema/yeast itchies from time to time, but I will say it is WAY better than even a few months ago. I think restarting with intro again has made a difference here, but can't say anything for sure.

All of these things are quite minor when compared with the gains we have made. God is so good and He is faithful. When we call out to Him and believe in Him, He answers. I am thankful for where we are. It has ALL been worth it!

Oh, yea, about the doctor. He's a natural doctor. He's a DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor. He's a nutritionist. He has his own Brain Healing Diet that is VERY similar to GAPS. Forgive me if I already covered this in another post.

I took CKS for an appointment. I read all of the info the doctor gave me about his diet. I read many of the newsletter articles on his website. He does not endorse GAPS, as there are other similar diets out there getting similar results, but in the course of our dialogue, I believe he will support us in what we are doing and help us to understand things, even if we don't choose to take all of his advice. This is very helpful.

After a year of flying solo, I am ready for a little help in understanding some things I haven't figured out yet. I am excited about this. I pray that we will understand each other and that it will be a good doctor/patient relationship.

Oh, Nuts!

2010-09-12T22:21:00.000-05:00

Can I just say that I'm nuts about nuts?

I'm nuts about nuts!!!

Since I was a child, nuts have given me asthma and itchy skin, especially the palms of my hands - oh, so annoying. I love nuts, but gave them up years ago because it just wasn't worth it. I would have them every now and again only to recall why I gave them up in the first place.

It is amazing to me to be eating nuts everyday without any of these symptoms. Without any symptoms. I am even eating the ones that gave me the worst asthma ever! (walnuts) I DO limit nuts, as they are not supposed to make up a large part of the diet and they are quite expensive.

I confess that I ate a whole jar (pint) full of nuts yesterday as I drove the half hour trip to WFM last night. That did not go over so well. I look 5 months pregnant. I am SO bloated! My fingers are swollen, too. My ring is actually tight, when it is normally falling off. I will not be doing that again! Back to just a little handful of nuts. I'm good with that.

My Lord, I thank You that I can eat nuts again.

I'm So Happy I Could Fly

2010-09-12T00:37:00.001-05:00

Our little 3 year old (CKS) is just so normal! I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Two weeks now of pure normalness!

OK, I exaggerate a little. We have been upping the Bio-Kult and he has been very tactile and whiny and a bit rigid...but all kids do have their crazy days. Most people say, "I just don't know what got into him. He's so wound up." Well, I just happen to know what's got into him. I can tell you ahead of time what is going to happen. I add or increase a certain food or probiotic. Regression. But then, the best part is that he will get sick, or break out in a rash, or regress, or all of the above and we will hold at the same amount and in a few days he's back and even better than before.

It's controlled and mild. He's developing and he's healing. He's getting jokes and telling jokes. He's compassionate (except when he's reacting to a healing food and is crazy off the wall and rigid and miserable).

Oh,oh,oh!!! His oldest sister made the joke that she does not like horses anymore. When she had everyone giving her puzzled looks over this incongruent statement, she said she LOVES horses. Sooooo...today, CKS said he didn't like rats (we have pet rats). Then, when everyone was trying to figure out why he didn't like rats anymore (Did he get bit?) he said he LOVES rats. Wow!!!

Oh,oh,oh!!! The other day when his sister didn't want to read to him (he loves to read again) because she wasn't feeling well, CKS said, "My make you feel better, like this: *BING* There! You all better now."

I LOVE IT!!!

Thank You, Jesus, for this precious child! Thank You for giving him back to us! Thank You for answering me when I call on You! You are our Healer! You are God! Nothing is impossible with You! All glory to You, oh Lord, for what You are doing with this family. Praise Your Holy Name! Amen!

Beautiful Healthy Nails, No Pimples, and Happy Feet

2010-08-30T01:04:00.000-05:00

I have noticed recently that my nails are strong and beautiful and healthy
looking. They used to peel in thin layers and would frequently break.

I have had acne forever. Even though my mother assured me that my horrible acne
would get better as I moved out of adolescence, I continued to have pimples into
my thirties. This year...one or two here or there. Mostly none!

My feet look younger, too, even though I am on them more now than ever. Hmm.

Eczema Gone

2010-08-30T01:02:00.000-05:00

My 9yo has had no eczema for many months now. She can eat a little fruit
without any eczema or yeast symptoms.

Our 6yo still has eczema and itching (down there) whenever she eats fruit,
honey, or sweet veggies. It IS better than it was. We are about to start a
third round or S Boulardi for her and we are going to try the S Boulardi for our
two little ones, too. They have diaper rashes and fine rashes on their torsos
whenever they eat fruit, honey, or sweet veggies or when we increase probiotics.

I, too, no longer itch anywhere. No eczema. No yeast symptoms. No fungal
symptoms. I had athlete's foot for over a year and a few nasty looking toe
nails. No treatments cleared it completely. GAPS alone made it all go away.

Our 12yo never had any problems with itching. Whew!

Growing Taller and Gaining Weight

2010-08-30T01:00:00.002-05:00

One of my children is oh so very petite. She was a very picky eater. She was
five years old and weighed 31 pounds. She now weighs 38 pounds. I don't know
how tall she was when we started GAPS, but in the last six months she has grown
1 1/2 inches and is now 41 1/2 inches tall. She is still very petite.

Our 3yo now weighs 38 pounds and is 38 inches tall. He's not fat, but he is a
hefty little fellow.

Our 9 year old, also smaller than all of her friends, has also grown a full inch
in six months.

I don't know about my oldest or the baby (16 months).

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

2010-08-30T00:58:00.002-05:00

Last year when I put my whole family on GAPS to heal food allergies, behavior
issues, mental issues, vaccine damage (two children reacted to vaccines given to
them on the same day, same vaccine), etc., my goal was to do the intro diet and
try to increase the number of foods we can tolerate. We went too fast for us
and ended up pulling many foods over and over as we realized that they were
causing a problem. After starting intro, we were more limited in what we could
eat than before we started GAPS. I wanted to scream! I think I did on
occasion.

This year when I put my kids back on intro, my goal is to heal their digestion
and increase their probiotics (and to go real slow) so that we will be able to
add in lots of new food.

Lots of healing has taken place. That is evident. We are not there yet, but I
do not believe we will get there if we do not focus on healing their digestion
and adding/increasing probiotics to repopulate their gut over trying to make the
diet palatable and interesting.

It was not a wasted year by any means. It took me a year to learn how to cook,
to find my resources, to convince myself and everyone else that this is for
real, and in the meantime I got my two kids back who had changed/regressed after
those stupid vaccines. My 9 year old can suddenly read chapter books because
the letters don't wiggle and move on the page. Dyslexia? My 12 year old can
complete his schoolwork in a timely fashion and organize his thoughts better.
His handwriting has improved and he can remember things like capital letters and
spelling and indentions and spacing, etc. ADHD? My baby is developing
beautifully now after a scary start and a period of hand-flapping and loss of
eye contact when I did intro while nursing. Not recommended. It was a
profitable year, to say the least.

I can't wait to report the day when we can eat what others eat from time to time
without all of the suffering we have lived with for all of these past years.

Sauerkraut Juice Makes All the Difference

2010-08-30T00:55:00.002-05:00

We have discovered that when we increased the sauerkraut juice to 4 tbs per
person/per meal that everyone finally started to digest their food and they
finally started to go more regularly. All six of us!

It is hard work to make that much sauerkraut to serve six of us on GAPS ( it
comes to 72 tbs of sauerkraut juice per day) and it is sometimes hard to find
enough organic cabbages to keep up. Sure enough, on 3-4 occasions we have run
short on sauerkraut juice and all the poopies (I have little ones) fell apart
and were filled with undigested food. Every time we increase it back to 4 tbs,
the poops are brown and formed and at least once a day (no enemas!) Yay!