OK, so I am determined to take the dairy out. I am not willing to live with the regressions and the discomforts if it is from an intolerance, which I am sure it is. Yesterday, I served no butter and we used very little ghee. I slept better, was less stuffy, and I could actually get my ring off in the morning, although I was still a little swollen. CKS also seemed to be a bit better today, just a bit. He did not look like he felt miserable all day. His eye contact was a bit better (I think), and he had better control of his emotions. Yay!
This morning I was thinking about how it took about a year before we could tolerate egg yolks and how, when we finally tried again after re-starting intro, they were eggs from Farmer Brown's pastured chickens. I am still afraid to try yolks from store-bought eggs, even if they DO claim to be free-range. The regressions were not fun to see my little boy suffer through.
I also read in the GAPS book that when you introduce yoghurt, that it is best to use raw milk. I started to think about the fact that the organic butter I buy from the store is not raw. It is probably made from pasteurized milk. MAYBE, if we try again with raw butter and ghee made from raw butter, we will finally be able to tolerate dairy. Oh, I hope so!
Anyway, the first step is to take the dairy out and get back to 'normal' again. The second step is to try to add more variety of vegetables to our diet. The third step is to find some raw butter and try again. I could also try yogurt and kefir made from goats milk, if I can find a good source of fresh raw goats milk. I do NOT like the taste of goats milk that I have purchased from the store, but I have heard that fresh raw milk from a healthy goat is good. I am a city girl and know nothing about these things.
No more dairy for now (well, maybe by next week, as I have already cooked some meals for this week and we will need to eat it up).
December 9, 2010
Washing Machine is SO Wishy-Washy
I have four kids who wet the bed. Sometimes all four leak out of their diapers/pull-ups on the same night. With regular laundry for a family of seven and all of the pee pee laundry, we run 3-6 loads of laundry a day on weekdays and 0-3 loads on the weekends.
My washing machine is very useful, but it is NOT reliable. I had to have it serviced two years ago to replace a sensor. I have a repairman coming tomorrow to do the same, I think. It is the same problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't work. You just never know. It's so wishy-washy! Arghg!!!
My washing machine is very useful, but it is NOT reliable. I had to have it serviced two years ago to replace a sensor. I have a repairman coming tomorrow to do the same, I think. It is the same problem. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't work. You just never know. It's so wishy-washy! Arghg!!!
December 6, 2010
I Think It's Dairy, But I Don't Want to Give It Up
I think normal evades us because we are still sensitive to dairy. I added all of those many things in a while back and butter was one of them. No obvious and horrible symptoms to point directly to dairy being the culprit, but more subtle ones (in my mind). Anger, aggression, serious regression would be obvious and horrible symptoms that would make me turn back and even redo intro.
Here is what we are dealing with:
I had several months without any symptoms from hormonal changes. I didn't even see it coming and there was no pain or discomfort associated with the cycle. These past two months, I have been irritable, bloated, tired, achey, and I have been experiencing insomnia. I feel agitated and I have this sense of urgency, like nesting before a baby is born. Also, I can't sleep a full night because I sleep horribly after a few hours and I wake up swollen and hurting. My wedding ring is impossibly tight. Normally it is falling off. I have finally gained weight. Less nursing and more butter. Hmm. More nuts and honey, too.
MKS, 12yo ds, can't keep his mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what he does hear gets mixed up in his head, is forgetful, and he talks too much like he has no control and he just has to tell.
KRS, 9yo dd, seems fine, but has more trouble with getting up in the morning than she used to have.
KES, 6yo dd, can't keep her mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what she does hear gets mixed up in her head, is forgetful, and she talks too much (nonstop) like she has no control and just has to tell.
CKS, 3yo ds, is mildly rigid, tactile (hands and toys and everything in his mouth, hands always holding himself so he looks like he has to pee constantly, rolling on floor, leaning on or at least touching me almost constantly if he is in the same room with me, rubbing his arms/shoulders on cars, doors, walls as he walks), no focus, eye-contact is forced (he can do it for a few seconds when you ask him to, but he does not look at you when he talks to you, which is constantly), panic is first reaction, lots of things are upsetting, seems to not feel well a lot lately (tummy aches), oppositional quite a bit, wakes up crying or in a panic because he needs to go potty, says everything that comes in his head, repeats questions over and over, repeats lots of things over and over. There's more, but...anyway, normal eludes us for now.
SSS, 20 month old ds, just a bit more fussy and clingy than usual. No normal poos lately. Come to think of it, no one is having lovely brown poos anymore on a consistent basis. Hmm.
Back to me, I have been a bit stuffy in the nose on a consistent basis for several months now. I should mention that the only pregnancy where I did not feel nauseated was the last one so long as I avoided dairy and sugar. That would mean that dairy intolerance affected my hormones without a doubt. If it helped to avoid it during pregnancy, then it would make sense that it would help PMS symptoms to avoid it now. Oh, yes, I should also mention the reoccurrence of acne. It's mild, but present. I had enjoyed having none.
Now I know that much of my children's behavior is normal for kids these days, but I know it is not normal behavior for healthy kids. I have seen them behave beautifully. I have seen them think clearly. I have seen them make good decisions. I have seen them look beyond themselves and consider the needs of others. I have seen them play nicely with each other and with others. I have seen so many wonderful things as a result of this diet. I know what is possible. I want that to be permanent in another year or two, no matter what they eat.
I know that my current PMS symptoms are normal by today's standards and can be somewhat surpressed and controlled by medications, but I have experienced life without PMS and I know it is wonderful and good. I want the good life back!!!
I know it's dairy because of the no nausea during pregnancy thing and because MKS' symptoms are the same as when we removed and added dairy in several times before GAPS.
I DON'T WANT IT TO BE DAIRY!!!!! I love dairy. Calcium?
We can't tolerate bone broth, spinach, broccoli, etc. Where will we get our calcium. I am certain we must be deficient. HELP!
Lord, I want to eat good food. I want to tolerate and enjoy the food you provided for our health. Say the word and we can eat it. You have the power to make it so. Please let us be able to eat good food. I do not want to worry about everything we put in our mouths anymore. Heal my children. Heal me. Make us happy. Make us content no matter what the circumstances. That's the problem. Our food sensitivities make us agitated. Our minds are not at peace. Your Word says that we will find peace in Christ. We are to cast our burdens on Jesus. This is a burden to us. Jesus, take it from us, please. Help us to be good. Help us to live for You and not to be always so focused on what we can and can't do, and on what we can and can't eat. Amen.
Here is what we are dealing with:
I had several months without any symptoms from hormonal changes. I didn't even see it coming and there was no pain or discomfort associated with the cycle. These past two months, I have been irritable, bloated, tired, achey, and I have been experiencing insomnia. I feel agitated and I have this sense of urgency, like nesting before a baby is born. Also, I can't sleep a full night because I sleep horribly after a few hours and I wake up swollen and hurting. My wedding ring is impossibly tight. Normally it is falling off. I have finally gained weight. Less nursing and more butter. Hmm. More nuts and honey, too.
MKS, 12yo ds, can't keep his mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what he does hear gets mixed up in his head, is forgetful, and he talks too much like he has no control and he just has to tell.
KRS, 9yo dd, seems fine, but has more trouble with getting up in the morning than she used to have.
KES, 6yo dd, can't keep her mind on the task, doesn't hear all of what I say and what she does hear gets mixed up in her head, is forgetful, and she talks too much (nonstop) like she has no control and just has to tell.
CKS, 3yo ds, is mildly rigid, tactile (hands and toys and everything in his mouth, hands always holding himself so he looks like he has to pee constantly, rolling on floor, leaning on or at least touching me almost constantly if he is in the same room with me, rubbing his arms/shoulders on cars, doors, walls as he walks), no focus, eye-contact is forced (he can do it for a few seconds when you ask him to, but he does not look at you when he talks to you, which is constantly), panic is first reaction, lots of things are upsetting, seems to not feel well a lot lately (tummy aches), oppositional quite a bit, wakes up crying or in a panic because he needs to go potty, says everything that comes in his head, repeats questions over and over, repeats lots of things over and over. There's more, but...anyway, normal eludes us for now.
SSS, 20 month old ds, just a bit more fussy and clingy than usual. No normal poos lately. Come to think of it, no one is having lovely brown poos anymore on a consistent basis. Hmm.
Back to me, I have been a bit stuffy in the nose on a consistent basis for several months now. I should mention that the only pregnancy where I did not feel nauseated was the last one so long as I avoided dairy and sugar. That would mean that dairy intolerance affected my hormones without a doubt. If it helped to avoid it during pregnancy, then it would make sense that it would help PMS symptoms to avoid it now. Oh, yes, I should also mention the reoccurrence of acne. It's mild, but present. I had enjoyed having none.
Now I know that much of my children's behavior is normal for kids these days, but I know it is not normal behavior for healthy kids. I have seen them behave beautifully. I have seen them think clearly. I have seen them make good decisions. I have seen them look beyond themselves and consider the needs of others. I have seen them play nicely with each other and with others. I have seen so many wonderful things as a result of this diet. I know what is possible. I want that to be permanent in another year or two, no matter what they eat.
I know that my current PMS symptoms are normal by today's standards and can be somewhat surpressed and controlled by medications, but I have experienced life without PMS and I know it is wonderful and good. I want the good life back!!!
I know it's dairy because of the no nausea during pregnancy thing and because MKS' symptoms are the same as when we removed and added dairy in several times before GAPS.
I DON'T WANT IT TO BE DAIRY!!!!! I love dairy. Calcium?
We can't tolerate bone broth, spinach, broccoli, etc. Where will we get our calcium. I am certain we must be deficient. HELP!
Lord, I want to eat good food. I want to tolerate and enjoy the food you provided for our health. Say the word and we can eat it. You have the power to make it so. Please let us be able to eat good food. I do not want to worry about everything we put in our mouths anymore. Heal my children. Heal me. Make us happy. Make us content no matter what the circumstances. That's the problem. Our food sensitivities make us agitated. Our minds are not at peace. Your Word says that we will find peace in Christ. We are to cast our burdens on Jesus. This is a burden to us. Jesus, take it from us, please. Help us to be good. Help us to live for You and not to be always so focused on what we can and can't do, and on what we can and can't eat. Amen.
December 5, 2010
"My Not Happy"
When CKS doesn't feel well or when things are not going his way, he says, "My not happy."
So I am here today to say, "My not happy."
Our younger dd, age 6, ate lots of desserts at a pot luck lunch at our church today when we were not looking. We are talking wheat, sugar, artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives, and pasteurized, homogenized, non-organic milk products. Let's not forget the unhealthy kinds of oils used, too. I could cry. What I don't understand is that so far there seems to be no obvious reactions. She did mention her arms aching, but that it would come and go. Where's the eczema?!? Give her a bit of honey and some fruit and she almost instantly itches on her forehead and in the warm, moist places on a girl's body. What's up with that?
The only thing that I can guess is that her body is in shock and does not know how to respond to what just happened and it will deal with it later. If she is fine all week, then I should just give this whole venture up entirely. That's how I feel. This doesn't make sense to me.
Really, I won't quit! She used to wake up nightly, even before the obvious vaccine injury, with leg cramps, tummy aches, worries, and bad dreams. Now she sleeps through the night 99% of the time. She used to throw angry, hateful fits over the smallest things. Now she is pleasant and helpful, kind and considerate. She used to be a picky eater. Now she eats what we serve.
She likes our food, at least most of it, but she longs to be done with the diet and be able to eat anything. She needs more variety?!? She is concerned about appearance?!? I know it embarrasses her to have to eat differently. I can't do much about that other than just not put her in a position where she and/or others are eating together. No more pot luck dinners. It's too much work for me anyway, and with five kids, two little, I am not free to mingle much anyway. It is WAY too much trouble!!! No more birthday parties! Maybe the reason her sister And I are fine with fruit and honey and she is not is because we have never cheated and she has. She used to cheat. Maybe she still does and this is the first time we caught her. Oh!!! I am sooooo not happy!!!
What to do?!? What to do?!?
We have let her go to friends' houses and birthday parties because we thought we could trust her, finally. We thought she was finally understanding. Today, I let her sit with a friend at the pot luck because I thought she would be fine. Now I know she can't be trusted yet. Oh! Oh! Oh!! I do not like this! I want to trust my kids. I want to give them freedoms. I do not like this feeling of not being able to trust her!
I really need to go to the Lord with this. YES, that's what I need to do.
Heavenly Father, You know my heart. You know my pain. You understand fully what I am going through because You know me better than I know myself. You are God and You have authority over all things. Nothing is a surprise for You. Nothing is beyond You. Your hand is in all things and You work all things together for the good of those who love You and whom You have called according to Your purposes. Help me to see this from Your perspective. Help me to trust You and Your ways with this. I know that to lash out in anger would be contrary to your will. I know that I should regard her with love. I know that I should be patient and kind. I need to always protect, trust, hope and persevere. Show me what that looks like. Pull me out of this lowly funk I am in. Lift me out of the depths. Give me the strength to persevere. You have called me to the task. You will provide a way for me. My strength comes from You. Without You I can do nothing. All things are possible with God. Thank You for your Word and for recalling these truths to my mind. Help me to keep this in my mind tonight and throughout the day tomorrow. In the name of my Lord and my Saviour, Jesus Christ, I thank You for everything. How blessed we are. How blessed I am. I will continue to give my best for these children, who are only mine for a time. They are eternal beings and they are Yours. I will glorify You by giving them the best I have. Amen.
So I am here today to say, "My not happy."
Our younger dd, age 6, ate lots of desserts at a pot luck lunch at our church today when we were not looking. We are talking wheat, sugar, artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives, and pasteurized, homogenized, non-organic milk products. Let's not forget the unhealthy kinds of oils used, too. I could cry. What I don't understand is that so far there seems to be no obvious reactions. She did mention her arms aching, but that it would come and go. Where's the eczema?!? Give her a bit of honey and some fruit and she almost instantly itches on her forehead and in the warm, moist places on a girl's body. What's up with that?
The only thing that I can guess is that her body is in shock and does not know how to respond to what just happened and it will deal with it later. If she is fine all week, then I should just give this whole venture up entirely. That's how I feel. This doesn't make sense to me.
Really, I won't quit! She used to wake up nightly, even before the obvious vaccine injury, with leg cramps, tummy aches, worries, and bad dreams. Now she sleeps through the night 99% of the time. She used to throw angry, hateful fits over the smallest things. Now she is pleasant and helpful, kind and considerate. She used to be a picky eater. Now she eats what we serve.
She likes our food, at least most of it, but she longs to be done with the diet and be able to eat anything. She needs more variety?!? She is concerned about appearance?!? I know it embarrasses her to have to eat differently. I can't do much about that other than just not put her in a position where she and/or others are eating together. No more pot luck dinners. It's too much work for me anyway, and with five kids, two little, I am not free to mingle much anyway. It is WAY too much trouble!!! No more birthday parties! Maybe the reason her sister And I are fine with fruit and honey and she is not is because we have never cheated and she has. She used to cheat. Maybe she still does and this is the first time we caught her. Oh!!! I am sooooo not happy!!!
What to do?!? What to do?!?
We have let her go to friends' houses and birthday parties because we thought we could trust her, finally. We thought she was finally understanding. Today, I let her sit with a friend at the pot luck because I thought she would be fine. Now I know she can't be trusted yet. Oh! Oh! Oh!! I do not like this! I want to trust my kids. I want to give them freedoms. I do not like this feeling of not being able to trust her!
I really need to go to the Lord with this. YES, that's what I need to do.
Heavenly Father, You know my heart. You know my pain. You understand fully what I am going through because You know me better than I know myself. You are God and You have authority over all things. Nothing is a surprise for You. Nothing is beyond You. Your hand is in all things and You work all things together for the good of those who love You and whom You have called according to Your purposes. Help me to see this from Your perspective. Help me to trust You and Your ways with this. I know that to lash out in anger would be contrary to your will. I know that I should regard her with love. I know that I should be patient and kind. I need to always protect, trust, hope and persevere. Show me what that looks like. Pull me out of this lowly funk I am in. Lift me out of the depths. Give me the strength to persevere. You have called me to the task. You will provide a way for me. My strength comes from You. Without You I can do nothing. All things are possible with God. Thank You for your Word and for recalling these truths to my mind. Help me to keep this in my mind tonight and throughout the day tomorrow. In the name of my Lord and my Saviour, Jesus Christ, I thank You for everything. How blessed we are. How blessed I am. I will continue to give my best for these children, who are only mine for a time. They are eternal beings and they are Yours. I will glorify You by giving them the best I have. Amen.
December 4, 2010
It's a Topsy-Turvey World
Maybe it was the change in laundry detergent. Maybe it is the butter. Maybe it is the increase in fermented cod liver oil. Who knows, but my 3 year old is acting just like his older brother used to be and my oldest is also acting like he used to be. Where did normal go? I liked normal. Can't we just stay there for awhile? It's so fleeting.
Well, I am praying for answers and direction. I know we are healing and the ups and downs are part of this whole process, but I sure wish there were more ups than downs.
Still happy about the potty training. CKS just got new big boy underwear today. CARS and Spiderman. Very cool. I had to get him some new undies because he wanted 'thin' undies like his older siblings and had resorted to wearing his sisters' underwear. That's just wrong.
On that note, our 20 month old son loves shoes and dress-up. I keep finding him in his sister's sparkly gold dress-up shoes. He likes them because they are pretty, easy to put on, and he can walk around in them without tripping and falling too much. He also wears her sneakers, her sandles, and her boots. His going places shoes are CKS' old brown shoes. They are too big, but they stay on and he doesn't fall so we will just go with it.
So I switched back to our old laundry detergent. The butter stays and I am going to introduce yogurt and kefir as soon as I can make it happen (just bought a gallon of raw milk this week). I will continue to increase the cod liver oil and add in the other oils and new foods. We are just going to go with this for awhile. Hope it all evens out again soon, but it probably will not, if I keep adding and increasing stuff. Shucks! Oh, well.
Hey, they all sleep through the night most every night these days. That in and of itself feels like a dream. Everyone is happier and more cooperative in general. That feels like a dream, too. We have even had fewer wet beds lately and we even had one day that I didn't have even one load of pee pee laundry. That was like a dream. Not without troubles, but things are definitely better than before.
I guess I will press on an see what more is in store for us down the road.
Have I mentioned that four out of the six of us can eat fruit and honey? I'm sure I have. These things keep me motivated. Oh, yes, and we had brussell sprouts this week. We each had only one. Not too bad, though I think there were some reactions. We will just have to try again a few more times.
I am all over the place in this post. It is probably because it is the middle of the night. I should just go to bed. G' Night.
Well, I am praying for answers and direction. I know we are healing and the ups and downs are part of this whole process, but I sure wish there were more ups than downs.
Still happy about the potty training. CKS just got new big boy underwear today. CARS and Spiderman. Very cool. I had to get him some new undies because he wanted 'thin' undies like his older siblings and had resorted to wearing his sisters' underwear. That's just wrong.
On that note, our 20 month old son loves shoes and dress-up. I keep finding him in his sister's sparkly gold dress-up shoes. He likes them because they are pretty, easy to put on, and he can walk around in them without tripping and falling too much. He also wears her sneakers, her sandles, and her boots. His going places shoes are CKS' old brown shoes. They are too big, but they stay on and he doesn't fall so we will just go with it.
So I switched back to our old laundry detergent. The butter stays and I am going to introduce yogurt and kefir as soon as I can make it happen (just bought a gallon of raw milk this week). I will continue to increase the cod liver oil and add in the other oils and new foods. We are just going to go with this for awhile. Hope it all evens out again soon, but it probably will not, if I keep adding and increasing stuff. Shucks! Oh, well.
Hey, they all sleep through the night most every night these days. That in and of itself feels like a dream. Everyone is happier and more cooperative in general. That feels like a dream, too. We have even had fewer wet beds lately and we even had one day that I didn't have even one load of pee pee laundry. That was like a dream. Not without troubles, but things are definitely better than before.
I guess I will press on an see what more is in store for us down the road.
Have I mentioned that four out of the six of us can eat fruit and honey? I'm sure I have. These things keep me motivated. Oh, yes, and we had brussell sprouts this week. We each had only one. Not too bad, though I think there were some reactions. We will just have to try again a few more times.
I am all over the place in this post. It is probably because it is the middle of the night. I should just go to bed. G' Night.
November 18, 2010
The Rash is Gone (almost) and Potty Training is Complete
I am up way too late, but this is the only time I have to myself, so here goes...
The rash and the regression are almost completely gone!!! WooHoo!!! CKS is also completely potty trained!!! WooHoo!!!
The rash on his bottom has healed and is fading away and the rash on his torso and cheeks are fading, too, so it is hard to say that letting him run around naked was what did it. I think that it helped tremendously to relieve the constant inflammation. I think that the baking soda we mixed with water and applied to the rash several times a day at the start has helped. I think that brushing his teeth with baking soda in the mornings may have played a part in helping to alkalize his body, too. Maybe we just pushed through and he is coming out on the other side of it.
Whatever the reason, I am glad and relieved! It began to worry me a bit to see the rash getting worse and worse over a period of weeks and even bleed and ooze in the diaper area. It bothered me to see him regressing for such an extended period of time. It is so good to see him coming out of it.
He is not quite his usual self again. He is still reminding me of his older brother's preschool years and all of the maddening things his older brother did and how I knew something wasn't right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it or get anyone else to agree with me that something wasn't right. I am still carrying lots of frustration (anger) about that. I am trying to let it go because it affects how I feel about my oldest child. I used to blame him for being oppositional and manipulative. I used to think he was being deceptive, but now I feel certain that the same thing happened to my oldest son as happened to my second son. It was just gradual and subtle. He was my first and I had nothing to compare with. I am having a difficult time dealing with all of the feelings and emotions that are being brought up as my second son is repeating the behaviors of my oldest.
It makes me want to scream. In fact, I did scream quite a lot today. I just screamed at the top of my lungs to let out the frustration. My little ones thought that was a fun idea, so they were screaming, too. It was loud in our house today. I pray that tomorrow is better for me. I was hard on my oldest today. I will have to love on him a little extra tomorrow. One thing he has going for him is that he is amazingly forgiving.
I know he cannot help or even change who he was and it makes no sense to be mad about it. I would not mind prayers for me to be able to let go of anger concerning the early years of my eldest child. I covet your prayers about this. Thanks.
The rash and the regression are almost completely gone!!! WooHoo!!! CKS is also completely potty trained!!! WooHoo!!!
The rash on his bottom has healed and is fading away and the rash on his torso and cheeks are fading, too, so it is hard to say that letting him run around naked was what did it. I think that it helped tremendously to relieve the constant inflammation. I think that the baking soda we mixed with water and applied to the rash several times a day at the start has helped. I think that brushing his teeth with baking soda in the mornings may have played a part in helping to alkalize his body, too. Maybe we just pushed through and he is coming out on the other side of it.
Whatever the reason, I am glad and relieved! It began to worry me a bit to see the rash getting worse and worse over a period of weeks and even bleed and ooze in the diaper area. It bothered me to see him regressing for such an extended period of time. It is so good to see him coming out of it.
He is not quite his usual self again. He is still reminding me of his older brother's preschool years and all of the maddening things his older brother did and how I knew something wasn't right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it or get anyone else to agree with me that something wasn't right. I am still carrying lots of frustration (anger) about that. I am trying to let it go because it affects how I feel about my oldest child. I used to blame him for being oppositional and manipulative. I used to think he was being deceptive, but now I feel certain that the same thing happened to my oldest son as happened to my second son. It was just gradual and subtle. He was my first and I had nothing to compare with. I am having a difficult time dealing with all of the feelings and emotions that are being brought up as my second son is repeating the behaviors of my oldest.
It makes me want to scream. In fact, I did scream quite a lot today. I just screamed at the top of my lungs to let out the frustration. My little ones thought that was a fun idea, so they were screaming, too. It was loud in our house today. I pray that tomorrow is better for me. I was hard on my oldest today. I will have to love on him a little extra tomorrow. One thing he has going for him is that he is amazingly forgiving.
I know he cannot help or even change who he was and it makes no sense to be mad about it. I would not mind prayers for me to be able to let go of anger concerning the early years of my eldest child. I covet your prayers about this. Thanks.
November 12, 2010
Just Like Big Brother
So I had written quite a bit more about this, but an error occurred when saving and I lost it all, so I will put it all simply.
When CKS regressed, he exhibited many of the same characteristics of his big brother that had not previously been characteristic of himself.
Lately, as we have been working through this latest period of slight regression, he keeps doing things that totally remind me of his big brother. He must be with me and even touching me nearly all of the day. He wants to go everywhere I go. He wants me to do everything for him. He wants only me to put him to bed. Today, he was negotiating all day. He repeats his statements and requests over and over and demands that you answer him again and again. I told him I would give him to the count of twenty to finish a particular activity and he said, "How 'bout ten or thirty?" My oldest did that for everything!!! It's maddening!!! Of course, I said, "Twenty."
When CKS regressed, he exhibited many of the same characteristics of his big brother that had not previously been characteristic of himself.
Lately, as we have been working through this latest period of slight regression, he keeps doing things that totally remind me of his big brother. He must be with me and even touching me nearly all of the day. He wants to go everywhere I go. He wants me to do everything for him. He wants only me to put him to bed. Today, he was negotiating all day. He repeats his statements and requests over and over and demands that you answer him again and again. I told him I would give him to the count of twenty to finish a particular activity and he said, "How 'bout ten or thirty?" My oldest did that for everything!!! It's maddening!!! Of course, I said, "Twenty."
Eye Contact and Clear Words
Today CKS's eye contact was much better and his words were clear again. As I mentioned in another post, his rash is getting better. Well, it is clearly much better today. Potty training is pretty much done, except it remains to be seen if he will remember not to pee or poo in his pants when we tuck his little heiny in some snug underwear. Maybe we need to make a special trip to the store to buy him some "big boy" underwear. Hmm.
So this is all good. We are still eating nut butter and GAPS bread. We are still eating butter. We are still eating raw egg yolks and scrambled eggs. We have added/increased sauerkraut, raw lettuce, and raw squash. We did, however, drop the honey and the bone broth. I guess we will try again later.
So this is all good. We are still eating nut butter and GAPS bread. We are still eating butter. We are still eating raw egg yolks and scrambled eggs. We have added/increased sauerkraut, raw lettuce, and raw squash. We did, however, drop the honey and the bone broth. I guess we will try again later.
November 10, 2010
The Rash Seems to be Getting Better
So our little boy has this really bad rash on his cheeks and on his diaper area and he has lots of fine dots on his torso. I think it could be yeast. Might be a reaction to the nuts, as we have had lots of GAPS bread and nut butter as of late and I think it started about the same time. I have not kept good records as of late, so I can't be sure, but I do not want to take nuts out again. We will push through for a while and see what happens.
Running around naked or in a big shirt and applying water and baking soda on the rash multiple times a day seems to be helping. It is drying out and much less red and inflamed. I think the borders are receding, but it might be my imagination. His cheeks and the rash on his bottom get bright red right after every meal. Strange. I thought it was coconut oil, but some meals have no coconut oil. Hmm.
Bonus: 8 days of pee and poo in the potty. WooHoo!
Running around naked or in a big shirt and applying water and baking soda on the rash multiple times a day seems to be helping. It is drying out and much less red and inflamed. I think the borders are receding, but it might be my imagination. His cheeks and the rash on his bottom get bright red right after every meal. Strange. I thought it was coconut oil, but some meals have no coconut oil. Hmm.
Bonus: 8 days of pee and poo in the potty. WooHoo!
November 4, 2010
Heart and Soul
Not sure if I mentioned it, but ever since the rash appeared on CKS he's been a bit on the rigid side, grumpy/oppositional, frowny, clingy, and on and on. We decided to push through and keep going with all of the things we added in my moments of insanity a few weeks ago. I added GAPS bread, butter, honey, lettuce, and I don't know what else. I did drop the honey because he was over the top tactile and that was annoying and dangerous.
ANYWAY, I just woke up to the happy sounds of my little boy singing "Bay, bay, bay" to the tune of Heart and Soul. To make it even better, I hear him declare, "My piano is right here!" I imagine he is playing the footboard on his toddler bed. Imagination is back!!! (I should mention that lately I have been hearing the words, "Mommy, what should I play?")
Did I mention in another post that he is potty training? Did I mention that the rash is looking a bit better.
Have I mentioned in any previous posts that rashes and regressions go together, but if we can push through long enough we see leaps forward beyond where he was before the regression?
My HEART and SOUL are filled with joy today! Thank You, Lord!
ANYWAY, I just woke up to the happy sounds of my little boy singing "Bay, bay, bay" to the tune of Heart and Soul. To make it even better, I hear him declare, "My piano is right here!" I imagine he is playing the footboard on his toddler bed. Imagination is back!!! (I should mention that lately I have been hearing the words, "Mommy, what should I play?")
Did I mention in another post that he is potty training? Did I mention that the rash is looking a bit better.
Have I mentioned in any previous posts that rashes and regressions go together, but if we can push through long enough we see leaps forward beyond where he was before the regression?
My HEART and SOUL are filled with joy today! Thank You, Lord!
November 3, 2010
Thankful (a prayer written 10/12, but perfect for today)
Heavenly Father,
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. All that we are going through only makes this clearer in my mind. I worship You because You are worthy to be praised! You are the God of the earth and You are the God of the universe. You made it all and You have authority over it all. Nothing in Your creation is out of Your control. You are good and You are good all the time. Everything You do is good.
Lord, even our trials and our struggles are for Your glory. May we glorify You through our journey day to day. Lord, forgive me for my failings for they are many. Change my heart, oh God, and make me like You. Heal me, mind, body, and soul. Make me in your image, my King.
Thank You for Your Son, Jesus! Thank You for the free gift of forgiveness and for redemption through the blood of the Lamb. Thank You for calling me out of darkness and for adopting me to be Your child. Thank You for loving me, even when I am so unlovable. That is what is so amazing about You, Father. You are God, and yet You love even me. I am so very unworthy, but it is not about me - it is all about You.
Thank You!
I am thankful that You gave me the desire of my heart, five beautiful children. I am thankful that I get to watch them grow and learn and discover the world around them. Each one is a treasure, a precious gift from You. I want to treat them like treasure! Help me to do this.
I am thankful to have my children back.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. All that we are going through only makes this clearer in my mind. I worship You because You are worthy to be praised! You are the God of the earth and You are the God of the universe. You made it all and You have authority over it all. Nothing in Your creation is out of Your control. You are good and You are good all the time. Everything You do is good.
Lord, even our trials and our struggles are for Your glory. May we glorify You through our journey day to day. Lord, forgive me for my failings for they are many. Change my heart, oh God, and make me like You. Heal me, mind, body, and soul. Make me in your image, my King.
Thank You for Your Son, Jesus! Thank You for the free gift of forgiveness and for redemption through the blood of the Lamb. Thank You for calling me out of darkness and for adopting me to be Your child. Thank You for loving me, even when I am so unlovable. That is what is so amazing about You, Father. You are God, and yet You love even me. I am so very unworthy, but it is not about me - it is all about You.
Thank You!
I am thankful that You gave me the desire of my heart, five beautiful children. I am thankful that I get to watch them grow and learn and discover the world around them. Each one is a treasure, a precious gift from You. I want to treat them like treasure! Help me to do this.
I am thankful to have my children back.
How Beautiful are the Feet of Him Who Brings Good News
Written on 10/17
My feet remind me of the Good News of Christ and His sacrifice for us.
I have been struggling on and off for several weeks now. I have been fighting to capture every thought and make it obedient to Christ and it is not easy.
Last night I wanted to tell my DH all of the ways he could do things differently to make life better for me, which is totally backwards and wrong. I wanted to let him know that he offended me. To protect my marriage, I kept quiet. It was so hard to do. My body showed physical signs of upset at every turn. My breathing was labored as I tried to hold it all in and then I changed my thinking and calmed myself down. I relaxed and went to sleep without saying a word.
This morning, I noticed my feet while getting ready to hop into the shower. They are even younger looking than I ever remember them. The callouses are smaller and less painful than ever before. It is yet another small sign of healing. It is slow, but it is happening.
This path is very difficult at times and I sometimes feel frustrated and I want to give up (don't know where I would go), but every little improvement keeps me forging ahead.
Thank You, Lord, for a little reminder of the good things that are happening in our house. Thank You for Your Word, which is true in every way. Thank You for the power of Your Word in our lives. It is truly the Living Word. You are the Good News that we need every moment of every day.
My beautiful feet reminded me today how wonderful it is to know You because someone else took the time to bring me the Good News.
My feet remind me of the Good News of Christ and His sacrifice for us.
I have been struggling on and off for several weeks now. I have been fighting to capture every thought and make it obedient to Christ and it is not easy.
Last night I wanted to tell my DH all of the ways he could do things differently to make life better for me, which is totally backwards and wrong. I wanted to let him know that he offended me. To protect my marriage, I kept quiet. It was so hard to do. My body showed physical signs of upset at every turn. My breathing was labored as I tried to hold it all in and then I changed my thinking and calmed myself down. I relaxed and went to sleep without saying a word.
This morning, I noticed my feet while getting ready to hop into the shower. They are even younger looking than I ever remember them. The callouses are smaller and less painful than ever before. It is yet another small sign of healing. It is slow, but it is happening.
This path is very difficult at times and I sometimes feel frustrated and I want to give up (don't know where I would go), but every little improvement keeps me forging ahead.
Thank You, Lord, for a little reminder of the good things that are happening in our house. Thank You for Your Word, which is true in every way. Thank You for the power of Your Word in our lives. It is truly the Living Word. You are the Good News that we need every moment of every day.
My beautiful feet reminded me today how wonderful it is to know You because someone else took the time to bring me the Good News.
Diaper Talk
I'm waiting on some cloth diapers and inserts in varying sizes to arrive. I plan to put all of by bedwetters (4 of them) in cloth at night, since I am doing 1-2 loads of pee pee laundry a day anyway. The disposables don't hold, so even if the cloth leaks, it's no big deal with the bonus of never having to buy diapers and pull-ups again. (except for emergencies, like broken washing machines)
I may put the little one in cloth during the day, too.
I found these pocket trainers called Happy Heinys and they are comfy and cute and easy to use. I tried several others, but liked this one best. I can't wait for my order to arrive. Who ever would have guessed that I would get so excited over cloth diapers? I really am changing.
I may put the little one in cloth during the day, too.
I found these pocket trainers called Happy Heinys and they are comfy and cute and easy to use. I tried several others, but liked this one best. I can't wait for my order to arrive. Who ever would have guessed that I would get so excited over cloth diapers? I really am changing.
Potty Training Again
Celebration Time:
CKS, our 3yo, is finally potty training! Sadly, he has this horrible rash all over his body (cheeks, torso, and diaper area) and it is really irritated and red in the diaper area, so we put him in a big T-shirt only, or we let him run around naked. On day one he had several big wet accidents. On day two he had a few, but would stop it and finish in the potty AND he put poo in the potty! Today he only had one small accident AND he put poo in the potty TWICE!
This is SO great because he had started putting pee and poo in the potty just after his second birthday. I was very excited about this because this was earlier and easier than with any of the older three kids. He was practically training himself. Then he regressed and it all just stopped. I was swishing stinky, mushy, pooey training pants in the toilet too many times a day because he stopped putting anything in the potty. I gave up! 18 months later and we are back! Three great days! I pray it stays!
CKS, our 3yo, is finally potty training! Sadly, he has this horrible rash all over his body (cheeks, torso, and diaper area) and it is really irritated and red in the diaper area, so we put him in a big T-shirt only, or we let him run around naked. On day one he had several big wet accidents. On day two he had a few, but would stop it and finish in the potty AND he put poo in the potty! Today he only had one small accident AND he put poo in the potty TWICE!
This is SO great because he had started putting pee and poo in the potty just after his second birthday. I was very excited about this because this was earlier and easier than with any of the older three kids. He was practically training himself. Then he regressed and it all just stopped. I was swishing stinky, mushy, pooey training pants in the toilet too many times a day because he stopped putting anything in the potty. I gave up! 18 months later and we are back! Three great days! I pray it stays!
Poo Glorious Poo - Take Two
Time for the Poo Report:
Everyone is pooin' everyday. Yes, pretty nearly every day. I have not had to do any enemas for several months now. It's awesome!!!
The two little ones still have some undigested bits in their poo, but it has firmed up into a nice creamy consistency, sometimes sticky, and rarely watery.
The two who used to have orangy fall-apart poos with lots of undigested bits that looked like an explosion in the toilet several times a day are now having very nicely formed brown poos daily, most of the time.
The two of us who were chronically constipated, going for days between poos are pooin' nicely formed brown poos daily (almost, but at least every 36 hours - WooHoo!).
Everyone is pooin' everyday. Yes, pretty nearly every day. I have not had to do any enemas for several months now. It's awesome!!!
The two little ones still have some undigested bits in their poo, but it has firmed up into a nice creamy consistency, sometimes sticky, and rarely watery.
The two who used to have orangy fall-apart poos with lots of undigested bits that looked like an explosion in the toilet several times a day are now having very nicely formed brown poos daily, most of the time.
The two of us who were chronically constipated, going for days between poos are pooin' nicely formed brown poos daily (almost, but at least every 36 hours - WooHoo!).
October 27, 2010
It's a Roller Coaster Ride
Yep, it's a roller coaster ride. Up, down, up, down, but I don't care how I get there, so long as I get there. I'm talking about healing my children and giving them a chance at living a full, blessed, and abundant life. It is my hope that they will each come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior and that they would love Him and serve Him all the days of their lives.
I would opt for instant healing. I would love an immediate change, but I know that I would quickly forget and I would, we would, quickly fall back into old habits and routines and would probably take for granted the mighty work the Lord has done for us. This way of healing is changing so many things in all of us. I am grateful for the work that is being done. I am happy for who we are becoming. It is slow and arduous, but the changes will be lasting changes.
We are not there yet and we have some pretty ugly days here and there, but they are fewer and farther in between. These past few weeks (months?) have been difficult and trying at times, but there is much evidence of healing, too.
Evidence of healing:
Me - no more constipation (daily formed, normal brown poos); more energy; no more waking up sore and stiff (unless I overdo the salicylates); no more gas pains and tummy tenderness; feet look younger; acne gone; no more itchy skin; fungal infections on feet and on toenails gone; fingernails no longer split and peel; strange itchy circles on chest gone; gums no longer bleed when I floss; my drippy nose rarely drips anymore; no more headaches (I used to take Flonase or Nasacort nightly or I would get debilitating migraines); fewer panic attacks; depression only rarely rears it's ugly head but does not last for very long; I can eat egg yolks without getting asthma, hic-cups, or rage; I can eat nuts without getting asthma, itchy palms, or becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without waking in the night frozen and in great pain; I am holding steady at a healthy weight (not too low despite the fact that I am nursing); I have been able to nurse my fifth baby on demand without experiencing the overabundant milk supply that caused frustrating issues and caused too much weight loss; I'm happier than I ever was; I am now capable of organizing and maintaining the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry); I can actually cook from scratch (before we started the Feingold diet 4-5 years ago, I could not boil water without burning it - ha ha); I can go hours between meals/snacks and still feel great; I'm sure there's more, but that sums it up pretty good. Challenges remaining - I still can not eat too many salicylates without getting rigid, irritable, and frustrated; I still can not tolerate more than a little bone broth, if that, without becoming angry; still working my probiotic dose up ever so slowly to a therapeutic dose; diet is still very limited (missing out on, garlic, spinach, broccoli, and cauliflower)
12yo - improved eye contact; improved memory; improved social skills; improved strength and coordination; sensory issues have become minimal (only bad when introducing new food, increasing probiotic, or when he's sick); eats with fork (less shoveling); less rigidity and fewer obsessive/addictive tendencies; fewer annoying habits (I will not list these); no more stinky behavior; handwriting is greatly improved; spelling is greatly improved; understanding of math concepts is greatly improved; ability to remember and utilize the basics is finally there (he was getting C's, D's, and F's in math and writing because of all the little mistakes that ultimately led to wrong answers, but now he is getting A's all around); he's now teachable; he learns new things quickly now (it used to take forever to teach him a new concept, even seemingly simple ones, and then they wouldn't always stick and I'd have to show him again and again; no longer oppositional or defiant; happy; good attitude; fewer stomach aches; fewer body aches; fewer trips to the bathroom (he used to live in the bathroom); daily formed, normal brown poos instead of 5-8 mushy messes with lots of undigested bits (glad you stayed for this bit of info?!?); headaches are now rare; actually likes school; he concentrates better; he can narrate what he's read soooooo much better now (he could not narrate before because he could not organize it and communicate it in a meaningful way; he plays well with his little brothers and is a great help with them; he can be trusted to make better decisions, better choices; understands things better; communicates better; does not repeat himself over and over and over anymore; does not ask the same questions over and over and over anymore because now he remembers that he asked and now he remembers the answer more often than not; no more croupy cough and constant clearing of throat; generally nicer to be around; no more meltdowns (rare); again, I'm sure there's more, but hey, if this was it, who could complain? Challenges remaining - still gets weak and feels generally bad in the mornings; gets headaches (but not as often as he used to get them); lately he has been dizzy and has been losing his balance (huh? GAPS related?); he has also started doing this weird eye thing where he looks surprised or scared, but at odd times. It can happen numerous times during a conversation. He is not aware that he is doing it; there are some other challenges, but I think I will move on. (update 11/7/10: not doing the weird eye thing anymore, short-lived during a period of die-off, whew!)
9yo - stopped flipping letters and numbers; stopped switching letters and numbers; started to read and now loves to read; tells me the letters don't jiggle and move off the page anymore; math became a breeze (subtraction and multiplication easy after struggling with simple addition for over a year before GAPS); happier; depression gone (used to wish she would die or had never been born); rages gone (still waiting on adding food that brought about some scary rages in the past); plays well with all of her siblings (used to absolutely hate her sister and used to just do mean things, liked making others scared of her); she is now an absolute dream child as she helps around the house, loves to do her schoolwork, and is so great at entertaining everyone and making everyone laugh; her artistic endeavors improve daily; constipation is gone and she poos daily at least once; eczema is gone; she can now eat fruit, nuts, and honey without itching (yeast, whole body general itchiness, and eczema); can eat eggs with yolks without rages; can tolerate some salicylate foods without reactions; fewer headaches; I'm sure there's more. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (but it's less since we added nuts); headaches (still too often).
6yo - rages stopped (only occasional when exposed to something like ink, paint, smells, chemicals); growing taller (she is super small, but has grown nearly 2 inches in the past year), gaining weight (33? Pounds to 40 pounds); does not hate the taste and smell of everything anymore (she actually loves to eat now); not as sensitive to textures anymore (example-she can eat the fat with her meat without gagging or throwing a fit, but still not her favorite); likes vegetables (used to hate all veggies); no longer whines; no longer cries about every little thing like it was the end of the world; happier for sure (smiles all the time); can actually eat some nut butter without getting too unbearably itchy (still a bit itchy, but we try not to push it past the point where she can't stand it); can now eat egg yolks with no reactions; learned to read with little effort on my part; math is coming super easy for her; learns things with little effort now (she used to give up before even trying); plays well with siblings; again, I'm sure there's more, but moving on. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (still soaked through every night); eczema, especially on forehead where she scratches until she bleeds; leg cramps still cause her lots of pain, particularly if we spend a lot of time outside (she will sometimes wake several times in the night crying. Thankfully, detox baths help a bit); diet is still limited for her and all of us.
3yo - he feels so much better overall and he is a happy boy most of the time; eye contact is much improved; language is developing normally (only slipping from time to time as we add food or increase a healing food or a probiotic; sometimes he is actually the most normal 3yo you will ever see and so intelligent, too; only rigid when adding or increasing foods or probiotics; only sensory seeking when adding or increasing foods or probiotics (loud, physical, bumping, ramming, squeezing, stomping, etc.); generally he is almost the happy, easy-going, independent little boy that he was before the vaccine injury; loves all of the food I make and serve (had previously tried to limit his diet to lemonade and cookies); coordination is back; can sometimes color beautifully in the lines (not bad for 3 1/2); knows most of his letters and all of his numbers through 12 (recognize, write, and sign); loves to read again; loves to do puzzles again; plays make believe games with his sisters; what appeared to be seizures is gone (virtually gone after 3weeks on a limited full GAPS and only resurfaced when we tried to introduce sulfur foods during the first year of the diet); no more grabbing at his eyes and crying in pain; no more odd stimming behaviors; poo is improving in texture and color with less undigested bits; whines less and uses good manners (responds well to do overs when he forgets to use good manners); more?!? Challenges remaining - still regresses a bit when adding/increasing healing foods and probiotics; still regresses when exposed to chemicals on skin or in the air (we have to be careful with him); still has undigested food in stool; still has skin rashes/eczema all over his body and really bad in his diaper area; still resists potty training and has yet to put poo in the potty since before the vaccine injury (he was training easily and on his own before he started to regress); still rigid about some things (example-he will only wear long jeans and a t-shirt no matter what the weather is like); still has days or weeks here and there where he just looks like he feels miserable and he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything unless it is with mommy; that will do for listing challenges, but we have come a long way even with this long list of challenges.
18 month old - he is developing beautifully; he sleeps through the night; coordinated (can climb on anything and he does not fall); catches himself when he trips or stumbles over something and pretty much never hits his head on the floor; learning language right on track (I think); easy-going; happy; interactive and makes great eye-contact; loves to explore with other people who tell him what things are and show him how things work; plays nicely with his siblings and also plays well independently; he had food intolerances when he was born and I had to eliminate dairy and a few other things from my diet, but he seems to be tolerating all of the GAPS food well as it is introduced; his poos are beginning to form up more and more and there is less undigested food in his stool than earlier on. Challenges - none that I can think of. This child has not had any vaccinations to date.
Wow! That feels great to have put all of that down in writing! Knowing how far we have come and seeing that we are indeed healing is what keeps me going on the days where it all feels overwhelming and too much (which of course are the days when I am having a reaction to something). We really are healing! I have to shout out praise to my God who heard me when I called out to him in desperation. He heard my prayer and He answered me! He gives me what I need.
Like I said before, God has the power to heal in an instant, but I know my heart and the heart of my children and we wanted to be healed so that we could be like everyone else and live a life of comparative ease. I am grateful for all that we are learning on this journey. We are healing slowly. We are changing slowly. The changes in us are permanent and I am glad!
How do I wrap this up? I am so full of joy right now I don't want to stop! I pray that this is encouraging for others on a similar path of healing. May God bless all who have visited my blog and read any of my entries. Amen!
I would opt for instant healing. I would love an immediate change, but I know that I would quickly forget and I would, we would, quickly fall back into old habits and routines and would probably take for granted the mighty work the Lord has done for us. This way of healing is changing so many things in all of us. I am grateful for the work that is being done. I am happy for who we are becoming. It is slow and arduous, but the changes will be lasting changes.
We are not there yet and we have some pretty ugly days here and there, but they are fewer and farther in between. These past few weeks (months?) have been difficult and trying at times, but there is much evidence of healing, too.
Evidence of healing:
Me - no more constipation (daily formed, normal brown poos); more energy; no more waking up sore and stiff (unless I overdo the salicylates); no more gas pains and tummy tenderness; feet look younger; acne gone; no more itchy skin; fungal infections on feet and on toenails gone; fingernails no longer split and peel; strange itchy circles on chest gone; gums no longer bleed when I floss; my drippy nose rarely drips anymore; no more headaches (I used to take Flonase or Nasacort nightly or I would get debilitating migraines); fewer panic attacks; depression only rarely rears it's ugly head but does not last for very long; I can eat egg yolks without getting asthma, hic-cups, or rage; I can eat nuts without getting asthma, itchy palms, or becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without becoming overwhelmed and emotional (limited); I can eat berries without waking in the night frozen and in great pain; I am holding steady at a healthy weight (not too low despite the fact that I am nursing); I have been able to nurse my fifth baby on demand without experiencing the overabundant milk supply that caused frustrating issues and caused too much weight loss; I'm happier than I ever was; I am now capable of organizing and maintaining the house (cooking, cleaning, laundry); I can actually cook from scratch (before we started the Feingold diet 4-5 years ago, I could not boil water without burning it - ha ha); I can go hours between meals/snacks and still feel great; I'm sure there's more, but that sums it up pretty good. Challenges remaining - I still can not eat too many salicylates without getting rigid, irritable, and frustrated; I still can not tolerate more than a little bone broth, if that, without becoming angry; still working my probiotic dose up ever so slowly to a therapeutic dose; diet is still very limited (missing out on, garlic, spinach, broccoli, and cauliflower)
12yo - improved eye contact; improved memory; improved social skills; improved strength and coordination; sensory issues have become minimal (only bad when introducing new food, increasing probiotic, or when he's sick); eats with fork (less shoveling); less rigidity and fewer obsessive/addictive tendencies; fewer annoying habits (I will not list these); no more stinky behavior; handwriting is greatly improved; spelling is greatly improved; understanding of math concepts is greatly improved; ability to remember and utilize the basics is finally there (he was getting C's, D's, and F's in math and writing because of all the little mistakes that ultimately led to wrong answers, but now he is getting A's all around); he's now teachable; he learns new things quickly now (it used to take forever to teach him a new concept, even seemingly simple ones, and then they wouldn't always stick and I'd have to show him again and again; no longer oppositional or defiant; happy; good attitude; fewer stomach aches; fewer body aches; fewer trips to the bathroom (he used to live in the bathroom); daily formed, normal brown poos instead of 5-8 mushy messes with lots of undigested bits (glad you stayed for this bit of info?!?); headaches are now rare; actually likes school; he concentrates better; he can narrate what he's read soooooo much better now (he could not narrate before because he could not organize it and communicate it in a meaningful way; he plays well with his little brothers and is a great help with them; he can be trusted to make better decisions, better choices; understands things better; communicates better; does not repeat himself over and over and over anymore; does not ask the same questions over and over and over anymore because now he remembers that he asked and now he remembers the answer more often than not; no more croupy cough and constant clearing of throat; generally nicer to be around; no more meltdowns (rare); again, I'm sure there's more, but hey, if this was it, who could complain? Challenges remaining - still gets weak and feels generally bad in the mornings; gets headaches (but not as often as he used to get them); lately he has been dizzy and has been losing his balance (huh? GAPS related?); he has also started doing this weird eye thing where he looks surprised or scared, but at odd times. It can happen numerous times during a conversation. He is not aware that he is doing it; there are some other challenges, but I think I will move on. (update 11/7/10: not doing the weird eye thing anymore, short-lived during a period of die-off, whew!)
9yo - stopped flipping letters and numbers; stopped switching letters and numbers; started to read and now loves to read; tells me the letters don't jiggle and move off the page anymore; math became a breeze (subtraction and multiplication easy after struggling with simple addition for over a year before GAPS); happier; depression gone (used to wish she would die or had never been born); rages gone (still waiting on adding food that brought about some scary rages in the past); plays well with all of her siblings (used to absolutely hate her sister and used to just do mean things, liked making others scared of her); she is now an absolute dream child as she helps around the house, loves to do her schoolwork, and is so great at entertaining everyone and making everyone laugh; her artistic endeavors improve daily; constipation is gone and she poos daily at least once; eczema is gone; she can now eat fruit, nuts, and honey without itching (yeast, whole body general itchiness, and eczema); can eat eggs with yolks without rages; can tolerate some salicylate foods without reactions; fewer headaches; I'm sure there's more. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (but it's less since we added nuts); headaches (still too often).
6yo - rages stopped (only occasional when exposed to something like ink, paint, smells, chemicals); growing taller (she is super small, but has grown nearly 2 inches in the past year), gaining weight (33? Pounds to 40 pounds); does not hate the taste and smell of everything anymore (she actually loves to eat now); not as sensitive to textures anymore (example-she can eat the fat with her meat without gagging or throwing a fit, but still not her favorite); likes vegetables (used to hate all veggies); no longer whines; no longer cries about every little thing like it was the end of the world; happier for sure (smiles all the time); can actually eat some nut butter without getting too unbearably itchy (still a bit itchy, but we try not to push it past the point where she can't stand it); can now eat egg yolks with no reactions; learned to read with little effort on my part; math is coming super easy for her; learns things with little effort now (she used to give up before even trying); plays well with siblings; again, I'm sure there's more, but moving on. Challenges remaining - bedwetting (still soaked through every night); eczema, especially on forehead where she scratches until she bleeds; leg cramps still cause her lots of pain, particularly if we spend a lot of time outside (she will sometimes wake several times in the night crying. Thankfully, detox baths help a bit); diet is still limited for her and all of us.
3yo - he feels so much better overall and he is a happy boy most of the time; eye contact is much improved; language is developing normally (only slipping from time to time as we add food or increase a healing food or a probiotic; sometimes he is actually the most normal 3yo you will ever see and so intelligent, too; only rigid when adding or increasing foods or probiotics; only sensory seeking when adding or increasing foods or probiotics (loud, physical, bumping, ramming, squeezing, stomping, etc.); generally he is almost the happy, easy-going, independent little boy that he was before the vaccine injury; loves all of the food I make and serve (had previously tried to limit his diet to lemonade and cookies); coordination is back; can sometimes color beautifully in the lines (not bad for 3 1/2); knows most of his letters and all of his numbers through 12 (recognize, write, and sign); loves to read again; loves to do puzzles again; plays make believe games with his sisters; what appeared to be seizures is gone (virtually gone after 3weeks on a limited full GAPS and only resurfaced when we tried to introduce sulfur foods during the first year of the diet); no more grabbing at his eyes and crying in pain; no more odd stimming behaviors; poo is improving in texture and color with less undigested bits; whines less and uses good manners (responds well to do overs when he forgets to use good manners); more?!? Challenges remaining - still regresses a bit when adding/increasing healing foods and probiotics; still regresses when exposed to chemicals on skin or in the air (we have to be careful with him); still has undigested food in stool; still has skin rashes/eczema all over his body and really bad in his diaper area; still resists potty training and has yet to put poo in the potty since before the vaccine injury (he was training easily and on his own before he started to regress); still rigid about some things (example-he will only wear long jeans and a t-shirt no matter what the weather is like); still has days or weeks here and there where he just looks like he feels miserable and he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything unless it is with mommy; that will do for listing challenges, but we have come a long way even with this long list of challenges.
18 month old - he is developing beautifully; he sleeps through the night; coordinated (can climb on anything and he does not fall); catches himself when he trips or stumbles over something and pretty much never hits his head on the floor; learning language right on track (I think); easy-going; happy; interactive and makes great eye-contact; loves to explore with other people who tell him what things are and show him how things work; plays nicely with his siblings and also plays well independently; he had food intolerances when he was born and I had to eliminate dairy and a few other things from my diet, but he seems to be tolerating all of the GAPS food well as it is introduced; his poos are beginning to form up more and more and there is less undigested food in his stool than earlier on. Challenges - none that I can think of. This child has not had any vaccinations to date.
Wow! That feels great to have put all of that down in writing! Knowing how far we have come and seeing that we are indeed healing is what keeps me going on the days where it all feels overwhelming and too much (which of course are the days when I am having a reaction to something). We really are healing! I have to shout out praise to my God who heard me when I called out to him in desperation. He heard my prayer and He answered me! He gives me what I need.
Like I said before, God has the power to heal in an instant, but I know my heart and the heart of my children and we wanted to be healed so that we could be like everyone else and live a life of comparative ease. I am grateful for all that we are learning on this journey. We are healing slowly. We are changing slowly. The changes in us are permanent and I am glad!
How do I wrap this up? I am so full of joy right now I don't want to stop! I pray that this is encouraging for others on a similar path of healing. May God bless all who have visited my blog and read any of my entries. Amen!
October 16, 2010
What We Ate Today
It has been a while since I documented what we have been eating. It got pretty boring there for awhile and some might say it is still boring, but we are actually very satisfied for the time being. Thankfully, my children LOVE good healthy food now.
We start the day by drinking warm filtered water with sea salt added. We take our Bio-Kult, and then we juice carrots and a little celery. Everyone gets their fermented cod liver oil with their carrot juice. The two little ones like it mixed and we call it 'tuna salad in a cup'.
We usually have chicken and a veggie for lunch. I have to boil chicken every day to have enough broth for all six of us since we can not yet tolerate bone broth. I put the veggies on the plates and let them cool a bit before I add coconut oil and olive oil. We put some chicken on every plate and a bit of sauerkraut. Everyone drinks some lemon water with Natural Calm mixed in, about 4 tablespoons of sauerkraut juice, and half a mug of broth before they eat what is on their plates. Sometimes I serve some avocado, too. Oh, yes, and we mix about 2 teaspoons of egg yolk into each cup of broth for this meal only because I am limited in the amount of farm fresh eggs I have access to each week.
Today we had leftover chicken soup and leftover peas for lunch, instead of chicken and a veggie. It's pretty much the same food, only served in a different way and I didn't have to cook chicken or strain any broth today. Yay! We still had all of the oils and egg yolks and sauerkraut, too.
Snack was leftover pork and onions cooked in coconut oil and leftover squash fries and a spoonful of nut butter for my son who had a LEGO robotics meeting from 1-5. The rest of us had a tiny piece of GAPS bread, a small bit of butter, a spoonful of nut butter, and a small bit of scrambled eggs cooked in ghee. Yum!
Dinner today was leftovers, as well. It's nice to have one day a week with minimal food prep. We had some buffalo stew (stew meat, carrots, green beans, onions cooked in coconut oil, and sea salt). We had some leftover beef casserole. I cooked some of the leftover green beans with a little ghee and coconut oil. I put cold peas on the table and several blended veggies and soups. I blend lots of things for the little ones. It keeps the undigested bits at a minimum and they actually like it better this way. Our littlest one calls it squash and is always shoving his plate at me shouting, "Squash! Squash!"
So that's it, except for the fruit and nuts I ate after the kids went to bed. Shhh!
We start the day by drinking warm filtered water with sea salt added. We take our Bio-Kult, and then we juice carrots and a little celery. Everyone gets their fermented cod liver oil with their carrot juice. The two little ones like it mixed and we call it 'tuna salad in a cup'.
We usually have chicken and a veggie for lunch. I have to boil chicken every day to have enough broth for all six of us since we can not yet tolerate bone broth. I put the veggies on the plates and let them cool a bit before I add coconut oil and olive oil. We put some chicken on every plate and a bit of sauerkraut. Everyone drinks some lemon water with Natural Calm mixed in, about 4 tablespoons of sauerkraut juice, and half a mug of broth before they eat what is on their plates. Sometimes I serve some avocado, too. Oh, yes, and we mix about 2 teaspoons of egg yolk into each cup of broth for this meal only because I am limited in the amount of farm fresh eggs I have access to each week.
Today we had leftover chicken soup and leftover peas for lunch, instead of chicken and a veggie. It's pretty much the same food, only served in a different way and I didn't have to cook chicken or strain any broth today. Yay! We still had all of the oils and egg yolks and sauerkraut, too.
Snack was leftover pork and onions cooked in coconut oil and leftover squash fries and a spoonful of nut butter for my son who had a LEGO robotics meeting from 1-5. The rest of us had a tiny piece of GAPS bread, a small bit of butter, a spoonful of nut butter, and a small bit of scrambled eggs cooked in ghee. Yum!
Dinner today was leftovers, as well. It's nice to have one day a week with minimal food prep. We had some buffalo stew (stew meat, carrots, green beans, onions cooked in coconut oil, and sea salt). We had some leftover beef casserole. I cooked some of the leftover green beans with a little ghee and coconut oil. I put cold peas on the table and several blended veggies and soups. I blend lots of things for the little ones. It keeps the undigested bits at a minimum and they actually like it better this way. Our littlest one calls it squash and is always shoving his plate at me shouting, "Squash! Squash!"
So that's it, except for the fruit and nuts I ate after the kids went to bed. Shhh!
October 14, 2010
Happy Thoughts
We are fearfully and wonderfully made. One of the things that drives me and keeps me following this GAPS protocol, even when things seem so hard at times, is my faith in God. He made us. I don't want to put poisons or unnatural things into our bodies anymore. I want to do things His way.
God's Word tells us often to think happy thoughts. We are to love our enemies (an active love, not an emotional feeling). We are to show kindness to those who treat us in unkind ways. We are told to give up our anger, bitterness, and rage, and we are to be kind and compassionate to one another. We are to let go of our anxiety and PRAY about everything, with thanksgiving. We are to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Then, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.
During my fifth pregnancy, I experienced a lot of contractions, as is usual for me. I trusted in God that they were fine. (it's a long story made short) when I started having more and more, which I later tied to medicine I was using, I figured I should err on the side of caution and check everything out. We went to the midwives to be checked. They freaked out about the strength and number of contractions I was having. I tried to stay calm, but I eventually believed their worries could be for real and I became worried, too. Everything got worse and more painful because of my fear. I was only 28 weeks along. It felt like labor (5th baby, I know what labor feels like). Meds did not stop the contractions. I called my friend who prayed for me and believed that the contractions would stop. I rested in her faith and I again trusted in God to keep my baby safe until his due time. The contractions slowed down and I did not have to go back to the hospital. I spent the next month or so on bed rest. I used that time to study God's Word and practice trusting in Him. The contractions became less intense and less frequent the more I trusted in God. When I got up to serve my family, believing that serving my family is what God wanted me to do, I had beautiful fulfilling days with very few contractions. My baby was born at 38 weeks.
One thing that I learned while preparing for childbirth that has really stuck with me is that fear is the opposite of faith. It is true.
I did a little experiment this morning. I woke up feeling a bit better. My ring was only mildly tight. I thought happy thoughts and my ring slid off of my finger easily. I mused on negative thoughts and purposed to focus on my pain. My ring got tight and my body hurt. I purposed to think good thoughts and think about my body working the way it should, my heart pumping efficiently, my lungs drawing in enough air, my body utilizing everything the way it should. My ring slid off more easily and my body felt less swollen. I did this a number of times.
Thoughts and words are powerful! There is POWER in the Word of our God because His Word is true. I know this is true. I am going to explore this more and more. I am excited about what this day holds for us.
Thank You, God, for Your Word, which is true from beginning to end. Thank You, Lord, for Your guidance. Thank You for this life that You have granted us. Thank You for this day that You have made. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!!!
God's Word tells us often to think happy thoughts. We are to love our enemies (an active love, not an emotional feeling). We are to show kindness to those who treat us in unkind ways. We are told to give up our anger, bitterness, and rage, and we are to be kind and compassionate to one another. We are to let go of our anxiety and PRAY about everything, with thanksgiving. We are to think about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Then, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.
During my fifth pregnancy, I experienced a lot of contractions, as is usual for me. I trusted in God that they were fine. (it's a long story made short) when I started having more and more, which I later tied to medicine I was using, I figured I should err on the side of caution and check everything out. We went to the midwives to be checked. They freaked out about the strength and number of contractions I was having. I tried to stay calm, but I eventually believed their worries could be for real and I became worried, too. Everything got worse and more painful because of my fear. I was only 28 weeks along. It felt like labor (5th baby, I know what labor feels like). Meds did not stop the contractions. I called my friend who prayed for me and believed that the contractions would stop. I rested in her faith and I again trusted in God to keep my baby safe until his due time. The contractions slowed down and I did not have to go back to the hospital. I spent the next month or so on bed rest. I used that time to study God's Word and practice trusting in Him. The contractions became less intense and less frequent the more I trusted in God. When I got up to serve my family, believing that serving my family is what God wanted me to do, I had beautiful fulfilling days with very few contractions. My baby was born at 38 weeks.
One thing that I learned while preparing for childbirth that has really stuck with me is that fear is the opposite of faith. It is true.
I did a little experiment this morning. I woke up feeling a bit better. My ring was only mildly tight. I thought happy thoughts and my ring slid off of my finger easily. I mused on negative thoughts and purposed to focus on my pain. My ring got tight and my body hurt. I purposed to think good thoughts and think about my body working the way it should, my heart pumping efficiently, my lungs drawing in enough air, my body utilizing everything the way it should. My ring slid off more easily and my body felt less swollen. I did this a number of times.
Thoughts and words are powerful! There is POWER in the Word of our God because His Word is true. I know this is true. I am going to explore this more and more. I am excited about what this day holds for us.
Thank You, God, for Your Word, which is true from beginning to end. Thank You, Lord, for Your guidance. Thank You for this life that You have granted us. Thank You for this day that You have made. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!!!
October 13, 2010
Too Many Salicylates
I think my troubles are caused by too many salicylates. Why? Because we were all extremely sensitive to salicylates before GAPS and early on in GAPS.
How did salicylates affect us? Physical pain, body aches and pains, emotional upset, frustration, melt-downs, anger, rages.
What am I struggling with now? The same.
The first time we tried to add coconut oil was painful. It took three attempts to get it in and we had to go slow. Adding nuts was slow and painful. Berries gave me problems at first. I think we are having a little everyday and that is why we are all having troubles together and I have been eating more than the kids so I have been more affected.
I am going to back off of the nuts. I went a little crazy with the nuts. I am happy that they no longer cause any asthma or eczema, but I guess they still can affect me emotionally if I eat too many.
How did salicylates affect us? Physical pain, body aches and pains, emotional upset, frustration, melt-downs, anger, rages.
What am I struggling with now? The same.
The first time we tried to add coconut oil was painful. It took three attempts to get it in and we had to go slow. Adding nuts was slow and painful. Berries gave me problems at first. I think we are having a little everyday and that is why we are all having troubles together and I have been eating more than the kids so I have been more affected.
I am going to back off of the nuts. I went a little crazy with the nuts. I am happy that they no longer cause any asthma or eczema, but I guess they still can affect me emotionally if I eat too many.
A Good Day
Today was amazing! Maybe it was because I got more sleep, albeit a fitful sleep. Maybe it was because we did not add any bone broth to our broth today. Maybe it was because I did not snack on nuts last night and only had a small bit of nut butter and GAPS bread with my kids. Maybe it was just a good day.
We accomplished all of our cooking, laundry, schoolwork, cleaning, detox baths, prep for tomorrow, and even had friends over to play and played a few games before bedtime. Yay! Oh, if everyday could be like today.
We accomplished all of our cooking, laundry, schoolwork, cleaning, detox baths, prep for tomorrow, and even had friends over to play and played a few games before bedtime. Yay! Oh, if everyday could be like today.
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