May 26, 2011


Right now, we are having some "stuff" going on with everyone. We are all taking some drops made from grain alcohol to take care of parasites. That is a likely culprit. We might all have a slight stomach bug. It is all such a guessing game. It is my intention to treat the parasites for another five weeks. It might be rough going if the reactions are from the drops. We shall see.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

I increased my Bio-Kult by a half capsule yesterday with no emotional breakdowns. Possible reasons: 1) God is changing me by renewing my mind so that I purpose to think and state everything in the positive. 2) We are one week into treating the parasites. 3) I am not eating any nuts, fruit, or dairy. 4) I have been having BMs on my own everyday for the past few days. Any or all. Hmm.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

CKS (now 4) is playing lots of imagination games, he is drawing amazing 4yo pictures with lots of great details, like eye-balls, noses, mouths, hair, etc. He thinks things through and figures things out. He is trying to read, write, spell, etc. He is showing great reasoning ability. All of these things are accompanied by a slip in eye-contact, an increase in tantrums (flipping out over small stuff), loss of focus, and a slip in physical coordination (he drops food and utensils on the floor and he wiggled too much on the couch and fell on his head). Drops!?! We're running with it. We are going to push through for six weeks and see what comes of it. His cheeks are clear and soft, no rash.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

MKS (12) can suddenly draw, and draw well. This child who would not put pencil to paper for anything...this child who drew only five identical pictures before his sixth birthday...this child who cried when he was asked write a four word sentence...this child who usually, even now, has difficulty with size of letters and spacing of drawing with near perfect proportion and he is enjoying it! We are all in disbelief. He is actually thinking about asking to go to art class with his sisters next week. This is accompanied by a bit of emotional sensitivity. Drops!?! He is also now reading his Bible every morning and he is using the Say and Do method on his own to learn/memorize Bible verses and definitions. He has always resisted doing this. Now it is his idea. Hmm.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

SSS (2) is fussy. He wants to be with me constantly. He wants to be held, nursed, carried. He's sleeping longer in the morning and is waking up a bit fussy.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

KES (5) is doing a remarkable job with her schoolwork and chores, but is very distractible, talks incessantly, tantrums, itches from eczema and yeast, and is generally driving everyone insane. She is so petite and cute. It's hard to stay mad. Wow! Drops!?! Yet...she is really trying hard to do what is right. She wanted a large print "real" Bible for Easter and we gave her one. She reads it every day. Starting tomorrow, she is going to join me outside in the morning for quiet time. It amazes me to see this petite little seven year old reading Genesis all on her own.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me.

KRS (10) is having some old symptoms return. She needs tactile input to feel OK mentally. She needs to push on something or be held tight. She started wetting the bed again, after weeks of being dry. Drops!?! I think so. She has found her purpose in life for the present moment. She knows that she is God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for her to do and she has decided that her work for the time being is to be a support to me through all of this. She helps with cooking, cleaning, and caring for her little brothers.

I have amazing children!

Now it will be interesting to see how the next 5-6 weeks go at church. Everyone compliments my children on being well behaved and good listeners, but with the reactions we are seeing this week, it might be a different story. We shall see. Even with these reactions, they are great kids. It is only a shadow of what we used to see. It is obvious that so much healing has happened in the last 21 months. All glory to God! He's so good to me!

Posting a Video - help!

So I want to post some videos of my little boy before and after the vaccine injury, as well as some videos of feeding him GAPS food early on. I could also post some videos of him now, after 21 months on GAPS.

I have not got a clue how to do this. I DO have a YouTube account, but my username is my name. I have tried to keep my name and my children's names out of the story. It is becoming increasingly difficult to do this.

Some people post pictures, give names, tell all. I would love some insight into all of this. I would love some feedback about being private verses being open. I chose not to share the names of my children so that I could be completely honest about who we are and what we are going through, without putting my children in danger of being identified by their friends. I do not wish to risk posting anything that could harm their reputations down the road.

If I post videos of my son, I know it could benefit many people, but his name and the names and faces of my other children are in the videos. If I reference my blog on YouTube or if I reference the videos from my blog, then all anonymity goes out the window. What might be the longterm ramifications? I wonder. I will need to ponder this and pray about it.

What I can say is that my children are different now and that is one of the reasons for keeping a blog to document this healing journey. No one should judge my kids for who they were when we started this journey, but for who they are. However, we are not always known to do as we should. Hmm. The things that make you go, "hmm".

May 21, 2011

* Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus and Seek First His Kingdom and His Righteousness

I have not written much as of late as I have been turning my attention elsewhere. Instead of giving all of my thoughts and attention to diet and healing, I have been busy seeking God's Kingdom and His Righteousness. He has been at work in my life and in the life of my family and He is truly transforming our lives by the renewing of our minds. It is wonderful and very cool!

So much is going on these days. I am reading through the Bible in a year (though it will likely take me two), I am working my way through Beth Moore's updated Bible Study called Breaking Free, and I am finding time in the morning to spend with God in prayer.

I am doing all of these things at my own pace and I am letting go of the guilt feelings for missing a day or two (or three) on any of these points. God wants a relationship with me. He wants me to love Him with all of my heart, soul, strength, and mind. He wants me to talk to Him about everything at all times and He wants me to ask Him for help. He is able and willing to do all that He has promised. He is faithful forever.

When I seek Him, yes, when I turn my eyes upon Jesus, when I look full in His wonderful face, the things of earth do indeed grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. I now understand the meaning of the words in this song.

I experienced it in natural labor with my children. When I focused on my body, the feelings were intense and increased in discomfort. When I focused on Jesus and what God was doing in and through me to bring new life into the world, then the pain disappeared and I was filled with joy and excitement like no other. The things of earth grew strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. I was not focused on my body. I was not focused on fear of pain or possible complications. My body was relaxed as I trusted in God to bring my baby forth from the womb. My body was free to work in the way it was designed by my Creator to work without being hindered by fear or negative thoughts. Truly, when I calmly told the nurse that I was pretty sure I was in transition and asked her to call the midwife back (I labored quietly with only my husband in the room), she did not believe me, but when my son was born only minutes later she knew I was right. The nurse and the midwife both commented that they had never seen anything like it. Give all the glory to God! He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows how our bodies work. We are made to commune with God. We are made to have an intimate relationship with Him. We, the church, are the bride of Christ! It doesn't get more intimate than that.

I have lately noticed that when my thoughts are negative I experience more pain, discomfort, frustration, anger, and way more stress! I have lately noticed that when my focus is on God and what He is doing in my body and in my heart and in the lives of my children, and when I purpose to think about that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy and to give thanks in all things, then I can take on the world. I can without a doubt do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

I confess that these last few days have been rough. We treated CKS and KES for their allergies using something called Barnett's Sensitivity Elimination Technique and it worked great for about three weeks. Some undesirable behaviors are coming back. Rashes and eczema are back. I was upset about this and other issues. It has weighed heavily on my mind and I turned my focus back on autism, vaccines, and diet. My sleep has been rough. My mood has gotten progressively worse. Today I was very depressed, easily irritated, angry, and on and on. I actually yelled at the 2 year old. I NEVER yell at the two year old. I rarely raise my voice anymore. God is so very good. When I finally had a moment to myself (in the bathroom at WFM), I prayed and confessed my sins and thanked God because, truly, I know exactly what to do to bring sanity back to my household. I may not want to remove any of the foods we just added, but I have that choice. So many others have no answers for helping their children. I met one family this week with a 16 year old autistic boy for whom no diet, therapy, or intervention has made any significant difference in all these years. Anyway, I returned home from grocery shopping and met some sour faces when I walked in the door. I greeted everyone with grace, proceeded through dinner and all of our night time routines, and got all five children happily tucked into bed. I can't remember anymore why I felt so mean and ugly at the start of the day, but I DO know why.

When my focus was on all of the things that were not going the way I wanted, then my pain (physical, mental, spiritual) increased and kept increasing. I kept noticing more and more things that were not as I wanted them to be. When I returned my focus back to God and the good things He has done for us, then I became strong enough and healthy enough in mind, body, and soul to take on the issues that had seemed insurmountable earlier in the day.

So, I find that I am compelled to spend more time with God. There is so much more to all of this, but I will have to say it in another post or two or three (or more).

Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness! Read His Word! Study His Word! Spend time talking to God about anything and everything! "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory an grace!"