November 18, 2010

The Rash is Gone (almost) and Potty Training is Complete

I am up way too late, but this is the only time I have to myself, so here goes...

The rash and the regression are almost completely gone!!! WooHoo!!! CKS is also completely potty trained!!! WooHoo!!!

The rash on his bottom has healed and is fading away and the rash on his torso and cheeks are fading, too, so it is hard to say that letting him run around naked was what did it. I think that it helped tremendously to relieve the constant inflammation. I think that the baking soda we mixed with water and applied to the rash several times a day at the start has helped. I think that brushing his teeth with baking soda in the mornings may have played a part in helping to alkalize his body, too. Maybe we just pushed through and he is coming out on the other side of it.

Whatever the reason, I am glad and relieved! It began to worry me a bit to see the rash getting worse and worse over a period of weeks and even bleed and ooze in the diaper area. It bothered me to see him regressing for such an extended period of time. It is so good to see him coming out of it.

He is not quite his usual self again. He is still reminding me of his older brother's preschool years and all of the maddening things his older brother did and how I knew something wasn't right, but I just couldn't put my finger on it or get anyone else to agree with me that something wasn't right. I am still carrying lots of frustration (anger) about that. I am trying to let it go because it affects how I feel about my oldest child. I used to blame him for being oppositional and manipulative. I used to think he was being deceptive, but now I feel certain that the same thing happened to my oldest son as happened to my second son. It was just gradual and subtle. He was my first and I had nothing to compare with. I am having a difficult time dealing with all of the feelings and emotions that are being brought up as my second son is repeating the behaviors of my oldest.

It makes me want to scream. In fact, I did scream quite a lot today. I just screamed at the top of my lungs to let out the frustration. My little ones thought that was a fun idea, so they were screaming, too. It was loud in our house today. I pray that tomorrow is better for me. I was hard on my oldest today. I will have to love on him a little extra tomorrow. One thing he has going for him is that he is amazingly forgiving.

I know he cannot help or even change who he was and it makes no sense to be mad about it. I would not mind prayers for me to be able to let go of anger concerning the early years of my eldest child. I covet your prayers about this. Thanks.

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